30 Bananas a Day!

Fallen fallen fell, not completely, but partially, off the band wagon. I'm not going to be coy about this at all. I found myself falling away from raw food as I grew more uncomfortable. I was hungry, I wanted salt, and I just wanted something with a tangy taste. I wanted, not even necessarily cooked food, I wanted salty food. 

I've learned through my programs, we relapse in our minds before we physically relapse. Food has been an addiction my whole life. I feel like raw is finally bringing back to my roots. There's a strange satisfaction I get after I eat it and I don't feel like I have to eat more, I don't feel like I need a 'sweet' after eating dinner, or like I'm painfully full. There's this secretive addiction I get with food. Weird ED mind state echoes in my past. 

My friend came into town this week, as I mentioned earlier, and I knew I just knew I was going to use this as an excuse to eat cooked food. I did. I decided to give cooked food a try and then look at that, it tore my body up! My bowels are anything but normal, woke up the next morning feeling like I drank alcohol all night, I felt like I was hungover. I was, from food. 

I know this is a lifestyle. This is not a diet. Not even close. It feels different, eating like this. I don't feel it is about my weight any longer. It's about vitality and energy. It's about my mood stabilizing. 

I also feel shame because I messed up. I feel like I've already failed. I see people on this forum and they jumped right in, but did they ever have bumps in the road? I don't read about them. Will I be shamed for posting this? It makes me fearful to even post this blog entry. I wonder if I'm the only one who has messed things up. I started so strong and now I feel like I threw it all away. I know being too hard on myself won't get me anywhere so I'm going to start back up again. I'm going to continue on the path I started no matter how many diversions seem to come up. 

Here it goes....

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Comment by Ra(w)nia on January 21, 2014 at 4:56pm

A lot of people fall off the wagon. People post about it all the time. The key is picking yourself right up again and not beating yourself up about it. We are human; we make mistakes. Good luck to you! You can do this!

Comment by Alyssa Kimiko on January 21, 2014 at 7:35am

Thanks Adam,

You're post is so awesome. I really appreciate the advice too. I have to remember that making a mistake doesn't equal failure. It's a learning opportunity. Thanks for the reminder about the law of attraction! I haven't listened to Abrahams teachings in quite a long time. Maybe it's time to listen to them again. I majorly battle my mind more than the physical body most times. Thanks so much for your kind words I do hope to keep in touch in hopes of supporting each other.

Katya, 

I know exactly what you mean. That's how it started for me too. I found myself pre-planning to slip up when my friend came into town. The funny thing is he actually didn't pressure me at all to eat things other than fruit. In fact, he liked the way he felt while eating all that fruit. I was the culprit of the cooked food eating! I am learning more and more each day while eating like this. I definitely am looking for more motivation each day as time goes on. I have found the way I feel energetically is the biggest motivator right now since I have very low energy in my life currently. What have you found has helped keep you on the wagon?? 

<3 <3 <3 thanks for the responses <3 <3 <3

Comment by Katya on January 20, 2014 at 8:50am

Hi,

I fell off the wagon as well. I started Raw Vegan lifestyle while I was in another country. Then I came back to my home and I kind of said, "I just will eat this once, and tomorrow I will be back on track". Sadly that back to the track thing didn't happen until about ten days ago. I was off the wagon for about seven months since I became Raw. 

I am sure that in the beginning people do fall off the wagon, but once you find something that will keep you motivated in the years to come, you will not want to fall off of it. I have found something and it has nothing to do with being healthy. I want to be healthy, but the thing that keeps me motivated is not that. 

As long as you get back up, you will never fail.

Good luck.

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