30 Bananas a Day!

too shy to let anyone know of my diet

I'm sort of a quiet person and although I like being connected to people and all, I hate having too much unwanted attention. My cultural background is of which ENCOURAGES meat consumption, and vegetarians are seen as people who are picky on food or sick or something not entirely positive.. I bet many of my friends never even heard of being vegan, let alone LFRV! If I let anyone know about my fruit consumption, they'll think I'm trying to lose weight really fast. I do want to be fitter than now and look healthier than ever and get people asking what has happened to me cuz I look so much better than I used to! After that, I might let them know and they'll listen. Otherwise, I think I'll be ridiculed and my self-esteem will crumble even before it blossoms.. I know I shouldn't take others' opinions seriously but I do want to feel confident and if that means I need to protect myself more, let it be!

My friends are organizing a barbecue today and I know I don't want to miss out but how can I turn up and not grab any meat if I'm not going to tell them I'm vegetarian (to start with)? I just can't be bothered with all the meat debate because I can't stand not being able to convince people and being the 'odd' one when in fact, I am the one being the most reasonable!

All this new information on nutrition is going to have to take time to process and integrate to my life efficiently..

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Comment by Fruit Curls on September 26, 2010 at 11:46pm
Whoops saw you already went and had a good time...that's great!
Comment by Fruit Curls on September 26, 2010 at 11:43pm
I'm kind of laughing/shaking my head at the "don't be shy" comments. It's like telling an elephant to forget something.

I like the suggestions about saying you have a food intolerance, or maybe you are just not very hungry if you are asked a question. It's best to keep it simple, that way you don't have to get into defense mode or discussion.

The bbq probably already happened, hope it went well, please keep us posted!
Comment by Estefanía on September 26, 2010 at 10:23pm
I'm new to this way of eating too and just yesterday, my flatmate and I hosted a bachelorette party which was full of fried/greasy/meaty foods. Mostly everyone knew I was vegetarian (so they didn't expect me to eat much anyway) but only my flatmate knew about my 811 vegan venture. Once everyone was busy stuffing their faces, I went off into the kitchen and blended myself a huge apple-spinach smoothie, poured it into a sports drink bottle and sipped on it while everyone ate. I was surprised to find that no one commented on it until they were finished eating and I was still sipping away. Even then, it was only a "oh what are you drinking?" I casually said it was a smoothie, afterwhich a couple of more questions followed...all-time favorite being the "what about protein?" one. I realised I had set myself up for it by not giving a simple answer from the beginning as others have suggested here (e.g. i'm on a cleanse, I already ate, etc.) But all in all, it was fine. I was definitely expecting much worse.

It's very true that people are usually so consumed with themselves that they don't even notice you're doing something different, and if they do, it tends to be a remark about not eating enough, as opposed to not eating what they're eating (if they only knew how many times I refilled my bottle :P). I agree that until you've had more experience under your belt, have felt the benefits first hand and done your research, it's best to just go about your lfrv life while aiming to avoid debates....even when overcome by urges to shake every person out of their zombie-like state of poison consumption ! Best of luck :)
Comment by Mary Elizabeth on September 26, 2010 at 10:36am
oh and eat enough before you go so you don't have to bring 6 mangos to eat in front of them. it might be too much for them to handle at once. lol!

and try reading "vegan freak." its a funny self-help on how to deal with the social aspects of being vegan (it can apply to veg or raw too). it's just how to deal with family and friends and coworkers,etc. it helped me a lot

cheers!
Comment by Mary Elizabeth on September 26, 2010 at 10:33am
ive been vegan for 3 years, vegetarian for 2 before that, raw for less than a few months. it just takes time to get used to the questions and the "but god said you should eat animals..." and "well i just like food too much to do that..." and the "well how do you get protein?" and the "i knew this one guy that was vegan for a year and he got super sick and had to go back to meat and now he's fine..." lol. those are just the most common ones i get. you get used to it. just don't get mad, but don't ever lose your ground. you know what you are doing is right and good for your body. if they try to convince you (when all they're really doing is trying to convince themselves that what they're doing is okay) just tell them, well i feel better than ever the way i am and i think i look great and being vegan/veg/raw is why. and if they can't handle it, fuck em.

lol
Comment by Rock on September 26, 2010 at 1:48am
Bring your salad or favorite snacks, and enough to share. Quietly eat it, and if asked, tell them, but also say it does not bother you what they eat, just as it should not bother them what you eat. It will take time, and soon they will accept you for who you are. At this point they will likely treat you as if you are on the fad of the month, in a year or two of being "true to self", constant, and not "preachy", most will leave you alone.
My favorite approach is that I will not debate with someone who knows nothing on the subject, and recommend books, then invite them to tell you what is wrong with the diet, referring to specific pages...
That ends it right there, forever. They will most likely loose interest in the subject, never bring it up as it will be an invite to be reminded that they already know that they do not know enough to debate, or they will read it, understand, and perhaps ask intelligent, sincere questions even if they do not intend to go that way.
Comment by kenny on September 25, 2010 at 2:48pm
i just tell people i like my fruits and vegtables. everyone knows i live off fruit but almost no one knows im a vegan
Comment by Alice on September 25, 2010 at 11:48am
Hey, thanks for all your support.. I really appreciate it :)
I'm back from the bbq and had a great time.. I didn't have the time to prepare anything but I had loads of fruit before going there.. the problem is that my fruit leaves my stomach in less than half an hour! I brought 2 sweet corn with me to grill just in case and had loads of salad and actually no one really commented on me eating just salad.. they were so focused in getting meat on their plates! I had a few pieces of pork only because I was so curious about the taste (funny I should know the taste by now and that it's not any different from any other barbecued pork) but I only had about 2 little pieces but then someone kindly prepared a fresh hamburger for me which I took with gratitude and ate it.. I completely forgot about all the LFRV business at that moment to be honest! lol

In previous bbqs I used to binge and eat endlessly just because I felt shy and wanted to fill the silence (or forget about my inability to start conversations) by appearing to be busy eating food and usually eat countless pieces of meat with at least about 3 hamburgers.. at the end of the meal we would clear up a little and start drinking and I would binge-drink in the same mindset.. I can see how disordered my eating was.. no wonder I was ill afterwards!

Today, I was gazing at the fire a lot and just enjoying others' company and being more 'awake' for conversations and jokes. People were already commenting on how I seem to look prettier and tried to figure out why and asked me if I had lost weight. (I did lose about 2 pounds in 2 weeks but I doubt if that's visible) We had melons for dessert and I quite enjoyed that although I know it must be terrible food combining after having a burger :D

I'm just really happy I'm not binging anymore and enjoying the social occasion.. which seems like what everybody else was doing.. in the past it seems I was just too busy eating to be aware of it!
Comment by Jade on September 25, 2010 at 11:40am
Telling people you are on a "cleanse" is also a great way to get them on board, as they won't block their mind to the benefits as it is only "temporary". Then they give it a try, and you can be a way shower after a while by showing it does not have to just be a cleanse, it can be a way of life!
Comment by Jules on September 25, 2010 at 10:41am
sometime i just don't feel like dealing with the comments either, so i just say that i ate already (and do eat before you go!!)

when i first went raw i was definitely a "closet eater." it took 2 or so years for me to actually eat in front of people and even now i would prefer not to explain too much. but people have been seriously positive towards me and my diet, they constantly surprise me!

just do your thing, stay inspired and keep at it. let other people be a minor factor in your life, just deal with each situation as they come. no sweat! you can handle it :)

much fruity wishes,

julie

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