This has been such a journey and a wake up! Since I started on the Raw back in November I've went through many stages of acceptance and denial of what this lifestyle is capable of. My brain has been clear, and it's been cloudy. My thoughts have stayed pure and the dream remains.
I use excuses to continue the numb down with cooked food. Staying vegan has not been an issue but staying away from the cooked food has been a roller coaster. (excuses) My personal life with my split situation with my son puts me in an emotional cycle, I numb those emotions with cooked food. Especially right before bed. I had a hard day yesterday. My son and I spent an amazing visit together. We gardened, camped, made smoothies and salads, I bought him an expensive life jacket and he is working on overcoming his fears by swimming with a life jacket first (with dad right there holding on) As soon as he was gone all I could think about was missing him and the way things should be. We should be together everyday and he deserves a life better than the one he has.
I went back to my home area and indulged myself in heavy food. It didn't numb the reality enough so I ate more. I did it in full knowledge of how bad it was for me and in full awareness that it keeps me one step behind where I would like to be. Clean and clear and focused on the goal. I took a nap, all energy expired to digestion and when I woke up drank a ton of water.
Today starts a new day. I've decided to fast on water for only today and to really analyze my body and the way it feels, the cravings, the mind tricks, etc. Tomorrow I will go back to what was working so well for me for months. One quart of water in the morning, Massive banana/date/berry smoothie, more water, work/exercise, more water, more fruit, more water, Massive Salad with no overts!
Today starts me back at square one. Technically I feel like tomorrow is my official day one. Though I cannot change the fact that I fell from my vibrant level I was at, I can resolve to once again be CONGRUENT with what I KNOW!!!
Blessings to all of you who are doing it right and helping others get on track. For ourselves, our children, our communities, our planet. We NEED to make the right choices and LIVE!!!