Wanted to give a little update.
For the last week I have been being finicky about eating. I've been low cal, and just plain uninterested in fruit until it became a matter of absolute necessity to eat some.
Well, that's all done with.
Two days ago, I ate a big vegan burrito for lunch, and then I ate a plate of chinese rice and broccoli for dinner, which I didn't even enjoy in the slightest! I remember kind of vaccuuming it up with my face, ignoring the fact that I didn't even like the taste! (It was spicy. I don't like spicy at all.)
I woke up yesterday feeling like an elephant was sitting on my heart. Not physically, but emotionally.
I took the day off, and fasted for the day. Later, my father called and needed to borrow some money, so he came down. I haven't seen him in months, so I figured I'd better eat something before he arrived so that I would not act socially miserable.
So I made a quick smoothie, and ate my one meal for the day.
I had a wonderful discussion with my father on a variety of subjects, just kind of hanging out on the porch and re-learning how to be at ease without a crutch.
I love that man very much. If it weren't for my father, I am not sure how i would have ended up. My mother had a problem bottling her emotions, and she passed it on to me... but my father's influence tempered that, because he has always been very open and honest about how he feels with me. While the bottling does happen, luckily I still know how to talk about my emotions and resolve that bottling, thanks to my father.
Last night, after "coming down" from the smoothie buzz, I went into extreme emotional detox. And I am quite grateful for it having happened. I cried, and screamed, as i desperately attempted to explain to my girlfriend some issues that have been making me unhappy in our relationship. My body had already adjusted to being low-cal from fasting all day, so everything really leveled out when I was forced to confront those emotions.
It was a little bit of a difficult night, but we worked through it, and I feel so much more at ease now.
Suddenly, fruit is a-peeling ( ;) ) again!
Right as I was trying to get to sleep last night, I started to feel a little grumble in my tummy as the emotional catharsis awoke my digestive system from it's hibernation.
So, I ate a single nectarine, and it was DAY-LISH-E-OUS!
I slept like a baby. My body is still straightening out the digestive symptoms of eating crap, but I can really feel some progress happening now. I had an easy BM for the first time in a couple weeks this morning.
Now, I am at work... I woke up feeling good, and stayed feeling good. Drank some water first, and started in on a big plate of organic red grapes just now for morning break! :)
I'd like to take this opportunity to say how much I appreciate all of you.
This website has been monumentally important in my moderate successes in adopting this lifestyle.
The people here understand something that not many people understand... that people have problems, but are good at HEART.
I love how the support here, even when "firm", is so loving and caring and considerate of the emotions of the person who needs the support. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY! Wow, I can't say that enough. So many people out there don't understand how to help someone in a bad place without chastizing them!
But you are all wonderful beacons of light. You flow with beauty and grace, and I am so inspired to witness it.
Fly on, my beautiful friends.
And thank you, from the entirety of my heart.