I was planning on eating plain potatoes, green beans and rice during the Thanksgiving meal. But when I was in the kitchen, seeing the food just really turned me off. I didn't want plain, dry potatoes and I definitely didn't want to watch them eat turkey :( So, I just grabbed one of the smoothies I made before hand (made 3,000 calories worth upon waking) and went upstairs. They seemed bothered by this, especially since they assumed I was going to eat with them. But, they also understood. I don't want the food, but I sort of get caught up in the whole, being deprived of something feeling.
What a waste of time to feel that way.
This weather is gray, cold (30's) and stale. I'm so restless not working (though looking for work) and I need to just force myself to get outside. No such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing right?
I frequently get urges to run away from here. I wonder if that is just how I am, or if I lived in a warmer climate and was able to wander around daily and have more adventure and variety in my life, if I would still feel like "geting away." In these moments, when I feel disatisfied, I agree that it must be distorted to believe "everything would be find if I was just in CENTRAL AMERICA!" haha.
Where ever you go, there you are.
But thats not to say I'm going to stay up North. No, I want to move, when things are right for it. I have to have money, right? I have to have stability to do such a thing. Some people do not thrive in modern society, they actually become sick, their spirit dies, they feel like a caged monkey who craves freedom!
Jeeze, if someone would just take me into their home! Ahhh, things don't work like that.
I day dream a little about having a "lfrv family" meaning, finding a few people on here to get a house with and live just like a family. Take care of one another, take care of the house together and be a true team! Who says a family has to be one of lovers or blood relatives?
Ah well, just going to chill out with some more Cat Stevens...and not doing anything impulsive :P
Then I will bundle up and head out to the trail with my CD player and dog.
If you might want to start a raw family sometime (in a warm place), keep me in mind ;)