30 Bananas a Day!

So today has been difficult...

I am tired, I haven't been sleeping properly... feeling @#$%^@ about that is just one thing... I am feeling so heavy and bulky and muscular :'( 

I'm at a weird point of my life right now... I've been having massive mood swings, to the point of feeling suicidal pretty often, I don't talk about it to my 2 friends, or my fella, or my mum, I don't want them to make a fuss... it's mainly self image related, and putting on weight/getting more muscular isn't what I need right now... 

I have been having amazing days where I feel more myself than I have done for years, really positive, but then I notice how heavy set I am and it makes me want to just end it all to be honest. I've been seeing great improvements in my skin recently, it looks amazing, and feels great, so do my eyes, just the prospect of it taking a few years for my weight to drop off is killing me... 

The thing about it is, I've just got with a new bloke, and he's much skinnier than I am, and he has perfect skin, regardless of his SAD diet. Anyway, I got with him 5 months ago, when I was just vegan, I was a stone lighter then... and since then I've been on a rollercoaster, trying to transition to high carb raw, but not getting good portion size, and so bingeing on nuts and fatty things. Put on half a stone in the process of doing that, only started high carb vegan two weeks ago, and feeling much better than I did two months ago, but feel as though I'm getting THICKER, and my skin is in total detox and breaking out evrywhere, to my new fella it must be total chaos, moods swings, acne and weight gain, great way to start a relationship, especially when I'm low in confidence to start with.

He is the nicest guy and reminds me that he things I'm beautiful evry day. 

I've been into some very dark holes this past 4 months.. So will just have to keep reminding myself of my high times, it's getting easier, slowly.

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Comment by Fruit of Life on August 21, 2013 at 9:51am

Ves Lauder do you buy coconut water in bottles or do you just buy coconuts and drink the water?  If you buy coconuts do you get just the young coconuts?  Or the hard brown ones that are really hard to open?

Comment by ednshell on August 21, 2013 at 9:13am

can you order a case of dates to replace the cooked stuff at night?  this will take you where you want to go faster.  just replace a cooked meal with a datorade or two.  no worries, you are well on your way to being The Healthy Person! :)

Comment by Lyra Donnelly on August 21, 2013 at 7:44am

I have cut all overt fat out for the past two weeks and have been feeling better, been feeling ridiculously muscly though. Thanks for the comments people, I'm eating cooked rice/potatoes at night, so mabey my body is just storing water atm, who knows... Going to go to bed and get an early night this eve. I wouldn't care so much about my weight, just getting in a new relationship has spooked me...

Comment by ves lauder on August 21, 2013 at 7:33am

yep i was right online it says coconuts are serotonin increasers so this will help your mood swings to.

Comment by ves lauder on August 21, 2013 at 7:27am

just an idea ,if you can cast aside the nuts an fatty things for awhile youll find coconut water is a great replacement it gives one a full feeling and aids weightloss ,oh an it tastes awsome  to me its a feelgood drink seems to help my serotonin levels -dont know why but giv it ago.

Comment by Fruity Fitness on August 21, 2013 at 7:27am
Hang in there! I am new to this lifestyle myself, approx 4.5 months, and I have been gaining weight too. I look at this as a lifelong commitment and I know my body needs to balance out. It may take some time but it will pay off in the end. Make sure you are getting enough carbs, sleep, sunlight, water and exercise. When I feel down abt things, I go shove 5 bananas in my mouth - I feel better when I keep my carbs high. Hugs that you feel better soon! :)

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