30 Bananas a Day!

I have my fruit nice and ripe in my kitchen. I have been eating one or two fruit meals a day to prepare. I have everything ready to bring my fruit meals to work with me.....now all of a sudden the doubt creeps in. The voice that tells me that this is extreme, that I should just be a vegan and call it good. That I will fail, feel miserable, piss off my family and friends and not lose weight. I keep thinking that somehow I will be the exception and I wont receive the benefits from 811. Why does this happen? Why do these doubts only surface after nearly a month of preparing and research? Why, without even spending a day on 811, am I thinking about throwing in the towel? This is ridiculous.

I am starting anyway. I am so tired of f@cking around and not MAKING A DAMN DECISION and sticking with it. I am doubting myself because I am tired of failing, tired of being a miserable, lonely, tired, sick, obese girl but I have no faith I will change it. So, i am just going to have to do it without the faith that I will make it. I will just have to do it despite myself.

Wish me luck, kiwi for breakfast.

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Comment by Sarah Beth on December 9, 2009 at 7:36am
Absolutely Nutmeg. That is just what I have to do. My entire life is at a breaking point and right now I am just saying F*CK IT! It feels awesome and today........ fruit is delicious. :)
Comment by Nutmeg on December 9, 2009 at 7:29am
sometimes a lot of good decisions come from "oh, f*ck it." What harm could making this choice do? It'll be an experiment for you, at the very least- and how can you pass up the chance at new experiences? Don't put so much pressure on it and yourself to be perfect, even with 811- one of the best quotes I've ever heard is "Don't take life so seriously- it's only life, after all." It's going to keep going, whether you like it or not! Sometimes you need to just say f*ck it, and let it take you wherever it wants. I'm a student, and personally some of my least stressful moments (and most productive times) come right after I decide that I can't take another minute of it, so to h*ll with taking it seriously! Even if you refuse to make a decision- that's still a decision! You've already decided to start, it seems, anyway- just don't worry so much about what the outcome will be. Enjoy the ride, and figure out where you are once you get there!

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