Important- Keeping motivation for 80/10/10, without holding dependence. I want to stay motivated by listing all the reason I love to eat raw. But not saying things like "it will save me, heal me and make everything all better" but "I enjoy it, I feel peaceful afterwards, I am helping the earth."
80/10/10 is not going to cure me tomorrow. I don't want it to. I honor the state that my body and mind are in at each moment. The variety is quite interesting, I rarely have the same two days in a row. There are days I stay in bed, feeling like I have the flu and without energy (though rare when I do 811), but I get to enjoy movies and practice acceptance. I learn to appreciate the days when I feel more energy and less sickness. I love these days, just as much as I love the easy ones. There are days when I'm calm and peaceful. when my focus is strong and I float through the day. Days when my mood is good, but I'm low in energy and feel apathetic. Days when I'm too energetic, anxious and dizzy. Days when I feel very emotional, tense, cry easily and feel like giving up. sometimes I briefly do "give up" in certain aspects. But, I eventually release all that is built up, and find more peace after, than I had in a very long time. I also come out more aware and more brave. I love all these days.
Right now my body is a little tense, and I'm having a stimulated feeling. I'm a little sad and uncomfortable being away from my boyfriend. I worry about being successful with raw. I worry about losing control and failing.
I accept where all of these things. I see that these fears are of the ego and I just detach myself from them. I see that my body/chemistry isn't always balanced, and I am grateful for what that has to offer me. I am on a path of healing, I like the choices I'm making most (nearly all) of the time, but I do not depend on perfect health for happiness. Happiness is in my lap. it is in my heart. sometimes shadowed by ego-created dysfunction.
Today was not ideal. I was not ideal. my family was not either. But I do not want ideal. I want what is. Why? Because what is is beautiful. Why? Because what is holds an equal amount of good and bad. Because today I got to be conscious and experience life.
Today was wonderful because I was here, because I laughed, I smiled with strangers, I realized I'm just a drop of water in the massive, powerful ocean of life, because my dog jumped on me with excitement, because I wasn't hurt or injured. because I wasn't faced with an extremely difficult decision. because I was free to do what I pleased, because I had food available to eat, because I ate 75% of my calories from fruit. because I made a poor decision to eat a potato and beans, which lead me to write this and grow as a person. because I accept myself and choose to no longer punish myself when I don't make the best decisions. because I chose to learn today, instead of dig myself deeper.
I love eating fruit. It feels good in many ways. makes me feel clean, light, healthy, relaxed, loving, peaceful, proud, guilt-free. I love fruit because it heals my digestion and immune system. because it holds energy for me to utilize. because it is the essence of love. it gives to me what I need, and takes nothing in return. It's easy to clean up after, easy to shop for and store. It supports life/the environment. It has only biodegradable waste. (unless they put the bananas in a bag, as some companies do.. hehe). It gives me great bowel movements which I am quite proud of. It is the best thing for me. It is amazing opportunity to be able to live off of fruits, greens and celery and I am not going to throw it away. I will continue to eat raw, continue to improve on my consistency with the diet, and eventually become aligned with it, naturally. Pressing to hard is not the key. persistence, patience and kindness is the key.
Love yourself. See the good in what you do. see the good in the world. see the good in your loved ones. see the good in your enemies.