30 Bananas a Day!

Arrgghh.. this is nearly all i can say about my eating habits for the last few weeks. Terrible terrible terrible.

I have a big expo to get ready for, next week, I have been run off my feet, been trying to make sure I got to roller derby training twice a week.. and its as if my brain doesn't want to focus on more than a couple of things at once. So as a result, my diet has suffered, and so has my body.

I have ditched all triggers and temptations from the house, and told the other half that if he insists on having food that I know to be bad, that he must eat it outside of the home, I cannot see it, hear it or smell it.

I have ashamedly been floating past 30bad, because my lack of mental strength makes me feel, guilty, disappointed, unhealthy. Arrgghh what is wrong with me? The benefits I feel when eating LFRV are astounding,. but the allure of crappy cooked junk forever is beckoning me, and hurting me.

I just got my period again for the 2nd time in 4 months.. this is strange..I do not know whether I should be concerned about it.. I will see if it regulates more over the coming months,

I am doing roller derby now, so I get 2 x 3hrs solid sweaty training per week.. believe me it is HARDCORE!! I am loving it..Plus the regular walking and riding I do week to week... so now I am getting back on track again with eating, hydrating and resting. All things have suffered recently. Try and kick start this weight loss again.. as I have plateaued at 110kg. (from 125kg) which is still an awesome feat.. in 4 months.

I have 4 months before we go to Thailand, and well.. I want to be able to fit the safety belt around myself.. last time we flew, It almost didn't fir, and I was so ashamed...I do not want to recreate that embarrassment for myself again...

So it is back on track,.. head in the game... time again..

My will, will be stronger this time... I have nothing to lose and almost everything to gain.

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Comment by Jolene on March 2, 2010 at 9:03pm
go carrie!! i just watched a roller derby match on tv a few days ago- it was really cool! and it looks real hard... i dont think i can survive a round of it... you must be awesome!

wow you're going to thailand in july? that sounds great! i bet there're loads of yummy tropical fruits for you:) im heading back home (asia) for winter break and i cant wait to lay my hands on whatever gorgeous fruits that's in season over there!

you can do it! dont feel bad about falling off coz we all do at times! this is part of being human- making mistakes and learning from them- being stronger... i used to feel so bad for bingeing that i wouldnt even step out of the house- and that resulted in me being even more miserable. yesterday was day one for me and though i was feeling terrible from the effects of MSG and i-dont-know-what-other-chemicals, i went for a spinning class and i felt so much better after that... it's like getting over the hill and realizing there's a beautiful meadow waiting for you! take care girl!!! xoxo -btw i missed you being around!!! i was wondering where you went :P-


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