30 Bananas a Day!

I HATE!!! Nuts, sugar, corn syrup, Salt, Cooked foods,...Hate w/ a Passion

Oh and I hate how you can't go a mile without seeing a fast food billboard, restaurant, hearing an ad on the radio, seeing billboard pictures, turning and seeing the driver in the car beside you eating a burger or drinking a cola. Having to drive out of my way to find shitty produce hidden in the back corner of a Publix and paying twice as much as my friend who went to taco bell. I HATE people thinking that I would magically feel better if I would eat SAD. I HATE HATE HATE all of the side effects from being sick!!!!! I HATE having to smile in the face of ignorance when people think I am choosing to FEEL this way. I HATE not being strong enough and not having enough will power. I HATE that everything we do as a culture is based around food. I HATE how alone I feel all of the time. I HATE HATE HATE the shitty year I've had -losing my dad, constantly being sick, feeling people constantly thinking I'm faking, having to ask for help and never getting it or feeling guilty for it. I HATE being single and wondering if I'll ever find love or happiness?




(so.........)Okay...it's been forever since I've blogged so let me catch you up on what's been going on. After falling off orange island I ended up eating some cooked food :( then got back on the raw path but substituting too many fats such as macadamias, olive oil (my nemesis), and eating way toooo many dates- like a kid in a candy shop, too many! Partly it was due to work stress 14days w/o a day off!!!

So last week I went on a mini vacay and decided to do a mini detox water fast during it, went to savannah and stayed in this crazy hostel downtown and then over to St. Mary's and hiking/camping on Cumberland Island where me and my friend unknowingly waded through alligator infested swamps and were almost attacked by wild boars and then hiked back a day early to the ferry 12miles in flip flops and shorts with crazy heavy packs in the rain. Needless to say it was a Trip- I ended my water fast with the most amazing apples ever, then nectarines and spinach for dinner. The next day started out w/mangos and then went downhill with nuts, dried fruits, my old nemesis olive oil, O and lets not forget about raw bars uuugh! So by dinner that night I was eating peanut butter! How did this happen??

Cooked food is like a drug-peanut butter is my gateway drug lol- after the peanut butter I ended up giving myself a cheat day(gah! WHY?) And went to my fav bakery in my hometown that I hadn't been to in over 5yrs(not an excuse I know!) And binged on NON-VEGAN sweets. Immediately I felt tired I slept for 5hrs straight, woke up around 8p and was up the entire night sick... It's gonna get GRAPHIC....





It was the sickest I've ever been so much diarrhea I thought I was going to get dehydrated and while that was going on I had a garbage can in front of me throwing up simultaneously, So whenever I'd finally get done I would try to gulp down some water, this happened about a dozen times into the night finally ending that morning! It felt like the worst food poisoning ever! So I vowed to never eat cooked again!

The whole day I tried to rehydrate and drink water and sleep/rest. By that night I added food back in with mango. Had trouble sleeping- whenever I only eat fruit it seems I have trouble sleeping at night even though I should've been exhausted after the prev. night. Then the next morning I started with mango. Snacked around lunchtime w/strawberries/bananas while my mom was fixing pork chops for herself and my grandma, then at lunch I had apples and ...Peanut Butter!!! WHY!!!??? It's very hard to stay lfrv at my grandmas smalltown Summerville, GA full of good ol southern comfort fried foods, yum!

By dinner I was eating a PB&J sandwich and then toast and oatmeal that night. And today chips and salsa followed by a vegan burrito. I just had two mangos tonight and they were amazing! after filling my body with cooked food full of salt today it was CRYING out for some fruit.


I've thought about it and it's not cooked that I'm craving- it's the salt and corn syrup in the cooked- because I can't think of anything cooked I would actually want salt free. Chips nope too bland, bread haha no way, pickles, olives, salsa, there is nothing that I would want if it wasn't for the salt or sweeteners added to it. I challenge someone to name something cooked that would be good salt/sweetener free. Can you???

I haven't thrown up the cooked vegan food, but my face and body immediately become bloated from the salt, my face gets very puffy especially my eyes and also I've noticed my face feels very funny immediately after eating cooked-tingly, weird and not in a good way. My face also is itchy and the next morning I'll wake up with very puffy eyes and it will be itchy around them(no redness). Cooked food immediately make me tired feeling as well. Nuts are just as bad as cooked so whenever I eat them its just like eating cooked and usually leads to it.

I'm trying to learn from these experiences and not repeat them -- I'm trying not to put so much blame on myself and to be open about these experiences on here. I'm not perfect -I'm not going to pretend to be by leaving out this part of the process. I'm fighting for my health and this has only made my resolve stronger to push through and put this behind me. So yea now I'm going to start detoxing again...Tommorrow- DAY 1

Views: 26

Comment

You need to be a member of 30 Bananas a Day! to add comments!

Join 30 Bananas a Day!

Comment by Joy on March 23, 2010 at 12:03pm
ugh i feel your pain. i have had way too many "Day One's" myself. i don't even have any advice. somewhere along the way something just clicks. i am on day 25 or so of lfrv, the longest i've gone and i don't see myself falling off the wagon anytime soon. just know that no matter what happens, you are always one step closer to being where you want to be. it is a process. <3
Comment by Ashley Hamilton on March 23, 2010 at 11:11am
It's good to write this all out to get it out of your system.... but now that you have all that HATE out of you, start to put some LOVE back into your world. What do you love? Emit positive thoughts into the universe and more positive thoughts and experiences will come to you. Think about what you WANT instead of what you DON'T WANT.

So what do you want? Mangos, strawberries, apples, bananas, oranges? love? happiness? a great low fat raw vegan diet?

put what you don't want behind you. Don't pay any attention to it anymore. You are creating your own world!

Good luck!!!!!
Comment by Che Zaragoza on March 23, 2010 at 11:03am
P.s I am sorry for the loss of your father.
And love will find your way.
Comment by Che Zaragoza on March 23, 2010 at 11:02am
Jess,
just get up, and keep on moving forward. Dont look at all of the bad things that you ate. Just forget about it. And keep on eating fruits and veggies. After a couple of days you will feel alot better.
Be stronger than what you were yesterday and if you eat something cooked oh well. Try again. Dont stress to much. :)
Comment by Shannon on March 23, 2010 at 10:45am
Jes, cooked binges are actually pretty normal when starting out LFRV, so let's not be too harsh on ourselves! Instead of focusing on what you ATE, why not focus on what you're GOING to eat? Such as: apples, nectarines, and all other sorts of juicy, delicious fruits. By focusing on what you WILL have and by focusing on the positive, you draw and attract the positive to yourself. When you're focusing your energies on the negative (ie the cooked food episode), you're attracting what you DON'T want to you. After reading The Law of Attraction, I understood this concept a lot better and it makes total and complete sense.

Good luck sweetheart! I know you're making a headstart because my a) recognizing what wasn't working and B) making an effort and a plan to get back on track, you're making incredible progress!
Comment by MADO on March 23, 2010 at 10:43am
thoughts about food can make you sick too LOVE WHAT YOU EAT even if its a cheat day

yje onlyu way to leave something is to love it otherwise you are bound to it

About

TheBananaGirl created this Ning Network.

30BaD Search

Latest Activity

pradtf replied to pradtf's discussion vegan cats
5 hours ago
fruity78 replied to fruity78's discussion Where i get tastiest young coconuts in jan/feb?
Sunday
fruity78 posted a discussion
Sunday
Rock replied to RawVeganGamer's discussion Taking good care of your teeth with fluoride.
Friday
Rock replied to Victoria's discussion Info on the death of my fellow faster?? anyone know any details?
Friday
Lynae K. replied to Laura's discussion Loren Lockman (Low-Fat Raw Vegan? of 20 Years) Will Be Speaking in NY/NJ/PA May 24th–30th! Any Interested Attendees??
Friday
Lynae K. replied to Victoria's discussion Info on the death of my fellow faster?? anyone know any details?
Friday
ednshell commented on Rawgasm's group No mobile phones
Friday
OrganicMark posted a status
"One Bank Finally Admits The Fed's "NOT QE" Is Indeed QE... And Could Lead To Financial Collapse #peace #truth #light http://j.mp/2NQ5Jsc"
Friday
Rock replied to Victoria's discussion Info on the death of my fellow faster?? anyone know any details?
Thursday
Rock replied to Victoria's discussion Info on the death of my fellow faster?? anyone know any details?
Thursday
Kris and Kevin are now friends
Nov 13
Sylvie Charron replied to cindy's discussion BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS
Nov 13
Sylvie Charron replied to cindy's discussion BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS
Nov 13
Sylvie Charron replied to cindy's discussion BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS
Nov 13
Sarah Troyer joined TheBananaGirl's group
Nov 13

© 2019   Created by TheBananaGirl.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service