So I've had a bit of a revelation over the past couple of days.
I've made a few videos on it, and will probably post them up one day if people are at all interested, they aren't for entertainment, more for documentation.
Anyhow, I have been consistently going to bed at 8pm at the latest, and getting up at 6am, and doing exercise, not vigorous but enough... eg, doing 10 mins of ass toning, 40 mins of yoga and going for a run, or going for a 3 hr walk, not going all out on the cardio front tbh.
Putting on weight still I think? I weighed myself on my mums scales, and I've gone up to nearly 11 stone (this was after 2 1.5kg banana meals though). Usually I'd have nightmares about this figure for weeks... well, usually I wouldn't be at this weight... I haven't been 11 stone for 2 years ish...
But yesterday, I just decided not to care about what weight I was, it was causing me so much greif worrying about putting on weight, I was sad about my jeans getting tighter and my skin breaking out, and it made me realize just what an emotional investment I had in my image, it was actually quite scary... to think I was happy when I used to go to bed hungry, so ravenous, just to wake up with a flat tummy, I am so lucky I've only been doing this to myself for a couple of years, and not even consistently...
Anyway, it rearranged my thoughts, people don't want to be around miserable people, no matter how skinny they are, people want to be around happy people, I am lucky to have such a supportive network around me, to not have/never have had a salt addiction.
I have resolved not to watch TV anymore, and to just read books for the most part, unless there is something really really interesting going on.
Anyway, I haven't been counting my calories using cron o meter but I have been stuffing my face
Had 4-500g of grapes this morning,
with 1.2kg of bananas, coupled with some juice that comes to 500 cal, so... 1700 at least for breakfast,
then had another banana smoothie approx 800g with 150g of sugar, aprox 900 cal,
then for dinner I had some steamed courgette with some leeks and was going to have some corn I picked, but I was suspicious that the ground it was growing in was covered with moss and no other life.... then when I took a bite & it was disgusting, I think the farmer uses Monsanto like pesticides. I didn't go specifically to pick the corn (I actually stole it, tskk tskk).
Sleep is much better and more relaxed in general, getting approx 8-9hrs per night (vast improvement on 6 1/2) Exercise really helps, love getting up in the mornings @ 6, before everyone else, it's such a refreshing feeling :)
Signing off now, feeling positive, going to read up of taking charge of your fertility. Its a must.
I used to be terrified of spiders, I have now employed one in my kitchen to enjoy my abundance of fruit flys.