I feel the need to write about my most recent experience involving poor food choice as I continue my path towards total lfrv. Keep in mind that I ate totally on a S.A.D. for my entire life until approximately 1 1/2 months ago and as a full-on meat eater :(
I work in a sales environment and sometimes a satisfied customer will feel the need to give me something in return for my service, which is totally unnecessary however I sometimes will accommodate as long as it's not money. Yesterday, a customer who runs a local 'health food' restaurant brought me 2 food plates that had bbq chicken wings in mild and hot sauce, as well as a roll and some celery stalks with ranch dip. In my current transitioning phase, I am about 90% lfrv, but very very occasionally still consume small chicken portions as well as very small fish. It's my goal to be completely free by my 6 month period, but it's still extremely hard to give up. I started out admirably- take the food to my home where my girlfriend and two sons who still consume S.A.D. will take care of them. However during the commute, I ate not one, not two, but all 6 wings in the first plate. This was the first time consuming a large portion of meat at one sitting in the time since I began this journey.
Go back to morning....I woke up refreshed, ate my usual breakfast of 5 bananas, 1 xtra large apple, and 1-2 liters of water. Felt great....lots of energy at work. Mood terrific. Same feeling all day until the commute home. Flash forward- I eat the death food and by the time I finish my 25 minute commute, I start feeling my old symptoms of depression, lethargy, anxiety, despair, and irritation. I walk at least 5 times a week after coming home, so I was determined that I was still going to exercise. I changed clothes, strapped on my water and walked out of the door totally mad at my girlfriend and sons for no good reasons.
During my walks, I normally feel light, energized, in a peaceful mood, and connected to nature. I watch birds doing their routines, admire plants, feel life all around me, and generally enter my version of 'church' during these times. I thank the creator for blessing me with new knowledges and life and energy to do what I know is best for me and the planet. However during this particular walk, I felt like I was abandoned. I felt disconnected, isolated, dark, and totally alone in the world like an alien. I felt like nature could sense something wrong with me and shunned me. I was depressed and in emotional pain while I drudged along my usual path and it took great painful effort to complete. Usually I can do what took me an hour in approximately 40 minutes. I felt like a spiritual bubble was put around me to protect everything else from my presence.
When I got home, I drank 2 cups of orange juice and had a banana/date smoothie. Within 1 hour, I started to feel more normal and lighter. I started smiling and cracking my usual jokes and everything started to feel better. I started to feel alive again. I know this wasn't in my mind and that I was being punished for eating meat once more. With that experience, I now recognize that on the occasions that I eat even a small amount of meat, I receive a lesser degree of the same feeling. It was a good experience for me to realize what I have been doing to myself and is hopefully a major motivating factor in my quest to be completely free of all cooked food and meat.