30 Bananas a Day!

Friday, September 25, 2009.

2 Samuel 22:2 And he said, The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;

2 Samuel 22:3 The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.

2 Samuel 22:4 I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

2 Samuel 22:5 When the waves of death compassed me, the floods of ungodly men made me afraid;

2 Samuel 22:6 The sorrows of hell compassed me about; the snares of death prevented me;

2 Samuel 22:7 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God: and he did hear my voice out of his temple, and my cry did enter into his ears.

Been battling with bouts of depression the last couple of weeks. Feels like darkness is just pressing upon me on every side. i have been here before and have learned from experience that the battle is won when i hand onto the Lord Christ with all i have. Days like this its a battle to get out of bed, i feel sleepy much of the time. Like i have no energy. But i fight it with prayer, faith, the Word of God and exercise. i am glad i have these tools as they are life-savers.

Today for example, it rained all day. i totally did not want to get out of bed. i would get up and then lay back down, get back up and lay back down. Finally i got up to stay in the mid-morning. i had prayed, read my bible and looked at the news on the internet. i was 60 chins short of my weekly goal and i determined to do them in the park even in the rain. This i did. It was a long, light drizzle really and it was beautiful. i had a great workout and the rain felt so refreshing. i thank my heavenly Father for the fresh air and the strength He gave me today. i ended up accomplishing my workout goals for the week. As i looked back upon the week, i actually got alot done inspite of the depression attack. i cut and chopped a cord of wood, had 6 business appointments, plus did 1150 pushups, 250 chins, 300 one leg squats, 120 tricep presses. Not a bad week as i look back upon it. Especially when i just felt like sleeping and staying in bed. Prayer and the bible are powerful weapons against depression. So are fresh air and exercise.

i ate well also, today being a typical day. Although i must say i ate more crackers than i should have due to the depression. This i am determined to also overcome by God's Grace.

Todays meals were:

Half a small watermelon, 4 large bananas, 32oz of cantaloupe-mango smoothie.

Soaked bulgar wheat mixed with guac, boiled plantain, chopped tomatoes and 2 oat burgers. 0 c

60 chins/150 pushups/60 one leg squats/30 tricep presses....20 minutes.

Have a wonderful weekend!


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Comment by todd on September 30, 2009 at 9:08am
Thank you all for your kind encouragement.

i believe all human beings at some point suffer from at least mild forms of depression. The ups and downs of life with all of its varied responsibilities, triumphs and disappointments makes it so. The question is only as to how deep in the dark it will take us. i also believe this has more to do with the spiritual world than what i am or am not eating. Dark forces are always seeking to manipulate and destroy us on one level or another. This is allowed, i believe in order to strengthen faith (which is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence not seen).

i don't seriously believe that boiled plantain, bulgar wheat and rice cakes cause depression although diet can indeed play a large part in our overall outlook. But its not everything.

i have been in this place before, even while 100% fruitarian this year and i am totally confidant that i will rise out of it........again. Especially because not only do i have One who loves me and is watching every move intently and guiding me. But i am totally blessed to have concerned folks like you all to encourage me. That means alot.

May Grace and Peace be with you all.

Comment by lady on September 29, 2009 at 8:45am
Todd I always find your blog posts very inspiring, I hope you can lift out of your depression.
Comment by Via on September 27, 2009 at 3:50am
Sorry to hear this. Genesis1:29 and 1:30 always remind me of where help is to be found.
Comment by Sultana on September 26, 2009 at 10:48pm
Hello Friend,
I'm so sorry to read that you're going through a tough time. I've had some experience with these kinds of feelings as well. I suppose most everyone has. For me the fears and sadness seem to come deep in the night, when everything really does look dark...
I'm so happy for you that you faced it down and got up and worked out and took some action. And I know that your faith has been instrumental in helping you through.
Glad to see you posting again.
Warm wishes,
Comment by Windlord on September 26, 2009 at 3:09pm
Greater is He, my friend. Nothing you can't accomplish together...
May peace and comfort be upon you in this trying period.
How goes life with your new houseguests?

PS Even before I got to the comments below, I was thinking along the lines of Ryan's concerns. I encourage you to seek knowledge and leading as to what aspects of your lifestyle, if any, might possibly be improved.
Always with your best at heart,
Comment by Ryan Lewis on September 26, 2009 at 1:58pm
hey todd..

i like checking out your blog when i catch it on the main page.. very sorry to hear of this most recent somberness, especially in light of you're usual overwhelmingly positive and chipper demeanor

have you noticed, as it seems to me, how the tone of your blogs (which are assumingly a reflection of your current state) has changed since your raw vegan lifestyle started to unravel and you began incorporating cooked foods and grains into your diet? through your written word you seemed so vibrant when you were on an almost entirely fruit-based path? i know sometimes us 811rv-ers like to associated EVERYTHING to nutrition, but i can't ignore the pattern here and truly believe that it plays an incredible part in our physical, mental, and emotional health

find a way to make sure you're getting more fruit.. eat the whole melon! lol.. read 'grain damage' by dr. graham and realize the detriments of that "food" and the industry itself.. we need to live the fruity life and get back to eden

wishing you and your family amazing health and happiness
Comment by Laurie on September 26, 2009 at 1:52pm
Hi Todd, Hang in there. The weather affects me also. I hope you feel better.
Comment by Sabrina on September 26, 2009 at 1:23pm
I can relate to not wanting to get out of bed. It's awesome that you were able to flow with the depression and still have a healthy day. I think when the depression is resisted it becomes very difficult to continue being positive. I wish you well. <3


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