I had a lot of cravings last night, so I just went to bed with my little boy. And this morning, I was still thinking about bread and cheese and pizza and chocolate... So annoying. I ate a fruit breakfast of some grapes and a small papaya, and then I decided I would just fill up on the V-8 tasting (supposedly) veggie blend recipe I had planned to try. It was a LOT. Next time I need to make half a batch b/c it made a big mess in the blender. It had a beet, 6 carrots, 3 tomatoes, 1 bell pepper, 1 shallot, 5 stalks celery and 1/2 pound spinach. That was a LOT of volume, so it filled me up and I was just too full to think about processed food.
... update ...
Still lots of cravings. Not sure why it's so bad. I even ate a bit more today, about 1750 calories. We bought some blueberries at the store (for my little boy, they're his favorite thing in the world), and I couldn't help but help him devour the whole pack. I don't know what happens to me with blueberries. I just can't stop eating them until they're all gone. I have moments where I contemplate ordering pizza or fantasizing what processed crap I'm going to buy. ::: sigh ::: If I just eat loads more food, yes, it might be better, but I wouldn't lose weight. I think I just have to get through this rough patch and the cravings will go away. And to the extent I need to eat more to stay on track (like today), but I'm still shooting for 1500. I think part of what is making it a little bit hard for me is that I'm not losing weight at the fast pace that I'm used to from when I was fasting or before when I was extreme dieting (not that the weight loss from the extreme dieting was lasting!). Obviously things are going to be slower. I'm not terribly overweight. I'm probably working on the last 10-15lbs to where I'd be super slim and get rid of the last stubborn flab, especially on my lower half. According to my Tanita, I've lost 1.5kg of fat since I finished fasting. That's really very good. If I'm just patient and stay on track, I'll continue to get slimmer and I'll get there. I mean, it seems like forever that I've been doing this now, but it's really just been over 3 weeks. It's taken a lot of energy for me to get to this point, and I want this year to be the year where I free myself from old patterns. It would be more than just eating cooked food again form. I've struggled with the binge / restrict cycle for SO LONG, and it drains energy from every other part of my life. This is the longest time I've been free of that, raw or not raw, doesn't matter what my standard of "healthy" was. I'm just going to continue to buy fruit that keeps me excited, even if it's not as cheap as just eating bananas. ;)
Okay, feeling better now. Talked myself off the ledge.
When I feel like eating some processed crap, just delay and my sense will return.