today i ate: breakfast 1 small melon, 2 mangoes, late morning 3 apples, mid afternoon green smoothie of 5 bananas, 1 pear, and lettuce from the garden. evening 5 bananas
just wanted to share that i had my first proper ME/CFS crash today, since going full on 811rv. this is me trying to understand what precipitated it really, as i'm REALLY trying to avoid crashing, for obvious reasons, but also because i'm trying to learn to balance out my energy as i think its much more positive for me. crashing often takes days if not weeks to recover from, but i'm hoping with my new found 811, that this will lessen (this is one effect that raw food definitely has for me).
so... today was a day for me and the people i live with in community to spend sharing about how we are living, our hope and dreams and fears, and plans for the future. a big day for me! in the winter, when i was bad, well even trying to hold any conversation was challenging! but i've been doing so good, guess i overestimated my powers somewhat. i should have read this as a potential 'crash' point, but didn't. several people talking for several hours about really important stuff, what was i thinking!!!!
anyway... i actually managed about 3 hours (with breaks). which in itself is awesome. and some of it was difficult, and i was proud of how i could be really conscious, really express myself and listen to other people, and use some of my skills as a mediator to diffuse potentially conflictual conversations. but ... i reached a point where my brain just started shutting down. this is an interesting one for me... because in theory i've got good at noticing pre crash signs and taking myself off to bed sharpish. but i didn't this time. kept talking, and apparently, while i was making sense me, i really wasn't making any sense to other people. my energy dropped sharpish, i couldn't string sentences together, and before i knew it i was lying on the ground in a heap, hands over my eyes and ears (shutting out noise and light, which had REALLY intensified to painful levels), barely able to move, or communicate at all. its a strange feeling, like been at the bottom of a very deep well. there is some sensation, but very little.
my lovely bf has experienced this before, and pretty much picked me up and took me to bed. cuddled me until i started to come out of it a bit. he's so wonderful :-))) i've been in bed ever since, but obviously somewhat functional as i wouldn't be writing this lol!
so... a little wake up call to take things a bit easier i think. i'm also premenstrual which doesn't help. one of the interesting thoughts i did have at the bottom of that well was 'however crashed i get, i want to stay 811rv'. wow. usually that's when i cave into cooked, when i'm crashed.
anyway... i'll let you all know over the next few days how my recovery goes.
hugs, especially to anyone else really struggling with CFS/ME