30 Bananas a Day!

What is fear to me?...

not jumping on the train today to go to a recording studio, to grab the opportunity of a free hour of recording professionally in studio.
wondering what I look like when I move... when I sit in front of that mic, having the sound guy listen to my voice... my mistakes... watching my fat cheeks while I sing.
sitting there with my guitar on my lap... feeling the fat around my waist touch the wood...
sitting there... with the mic in front of my face, knowing that I have fat under my chin...

fear!

not getting into the car, driving to that venue, getting on stage with my guitar to do a free gig.. an open mic.
standing in front of strangers, feeling larger than the stage...
not singing my songs with passion, because I'm afraid they look at me and think how fat I am.

fear!

not getting that free ride to London... not getting that free tube ride to Camden... not turning up at a venue where raw foodies are sitting, waiting, watching...

fear!

not playing that festival I was invited to gig... not turning up because I'm having a fat day, again... like yesterday and the day before... which was like the day before that... and the day before and last week... last month.

fear... will this work?
fear... will I keep getting my comfort?
fear... what if I fail?
fear... what if I don't feel like exercising today because I feel fat?
fear... what if no one likes me?
fear... what if what if what if...

life is on pause at the moment. Why? Because of fear?

strange.

Views: 21

Comment

You need to be a member of 30 Bananas a Day! to add comments!

Join 30 Bananas a Day!

Comment by Robbie Belmonte on September 7, 2010 at 10:48pm
Not a problem, you can ask any time on this site or my email at info@photographybyrobbie.com
Comment by Alani Banani on September 7, 2010 at 10:43pm
Thank you for that website! I'll check it out now - always looking for creative ways to bring in some extra cash (so I can ditch the day job!!)...

Please keep in touch... would love to see more of your photography! Perhaps I'll even ask some tips when I take my fun photography to the next level ;)
Comment by Robbie Belmonte on September 7, 2010 at 10:38pm
If and when you may want to take your photography to a level where you can make a few extra $$ without really selling is to check into a stock photo site like - http://www.istockphoto.com/index.php

Initally you need to send them some samples to see if you qualify to post future images, after being accepted your photos will be looked at by millions of people looking for images for advertising, their website and more - you get a royalty everytime one of your images is purchased. I don't spend too much time on there but I usually take in a close to $500 for the year, I know of some other photographers who have thousands of images posted and make enough for a cruise every year.

Thanks for the kind words on my work

If you love doing music as much as I enjoy listening to it...please don't stop, let your talent take you to uncharted gigs.
Comment by Alani Banani on September 7, 2010 at 10:22pm
I like your photography... I have a redbubble account on profile page. I do black & white photography for fun. You can feature your work on that website (and magazines) and build up a portfolio and even sell prints/postcards etc. of your work.
People comment on your work, but people are genuine - I have never come across rude ppl on that site / mocking nothing. It's lovely.

I like what you said - "so as long as I work my butt off and have fun I know I'll be happy with the results and myself."
I need to keep reminding myself that I love doing music...
Comment by Robbie Belmonte on September 7, 2010 at 10:14pm
Hmmm...not sure what red bubble is, but here is my handiwork - www.photographybyrobbie.com

I did a wedding this weekend for a couple with MS....very emotional as they struggle with tasks we take for granted...like walking, but everything went well.

In the back of my mind, I always want others to like my work but I try to not take it personally when people don't think it's their cup of tea - I've learned that we are all different, with varying tastes - so as long as I work my butt off and have fun I know I'll be happy with the results and myself.
Comment by Alani Banani on September 7, 2010 at 10:04pm
Robbie... thanks!
It's not good how we judge ourselves, before know what others think - perhaps they'll love me? :)

Are you on redbubble with your photography?
Comment by Robbie Belmonte on September 7, 2010 at 9:57pm
Hi Alani,

I've been a photographer for over 30 years, the comments you wrote about fear were similar to when I first started and was shooting weddings and really large events, but over the years while I still have that "fear" feeling inside I've come to realize that is a combination of feelings, a little fear, a fair bit of excitement, a little dash of insecurity ( the feeling that all that laughter behind me is because my pants are on backwards.....and a touch of wanting to do your best for the people hiring you as well as yourself.

Hope this helps.....now go out there, be excited, a little nervous, and knock people's socks off with your talent.

About

TheBananaGirl created this Ning Network.

30BaD Search

Latest Activity

OrganicMark posted a status
"Trump Signs Executive Order Stripping Social Media Companies Of "Liability Shield" #awakening #peace #truth #light https://j.mp/2XcNXUL"
16 hours ago
Profile IconDarren Newman, Makayla, Jaime Huxley Leary and 1 more joined 30 Bananas a Day!
Wednesday
Peter posted a status
"First roller of 2020,didn't get any last year ,had a frost and I cut them back hard,then worst drought. can't remember them being so sweet."
Tuesday
Peter posted photos
Tuesday
Peter posted a status
"Could help.that should read."
Monday
Peter posted a status
"I can't remember how to post a photo if anyone couldchelp?tia"
Monday
Cassie K added a discussion to the group Self Sufficiency using Permaculture
May 24
Cassie K commented on Jay Don't Cook's group Self Sufficiency using Permaculture
May 24
Cassie K commented on Jay Don't Cook's group Self Sufficiency using Permaculture
May 24
Laura Kuchy commented on Tiff Hawkins's blog post Too Exciting
May 23
Profile IconLaura Kuchy and Peter H joined 30 Bananas a Day!
May 21
Raw Mormon Mommy posted a status
"How do I edit my profile?"
May 20
OrganicMark posted a status
"OBAMAGATE 1: CRIME OF THE CENTURY #evolution #awakening #peace #truth #love #light https://j.mp/2WVPNbe"
May 19
Profile IconSuzanne, SunBeaming, Rhonda Miga and 1 more joined 30 Bananas a Day!
May 17
OrganicMark posted a status
"PlanDemic - Banned Documentary #evolution #awakening #peace #truth #love #light https://bit.ly/2xJvrK0"
May 15
OrganicMark posted a status
"What They Don’t Want You To Know About Covid-19. Dropping Bombs (Ep 264) Dr. Rashid Buttar #peace #truth #love #light https://j.mp/2T4hGwE"
May 15

© 2020   Created by TheBananaGirl.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service