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Viktorija's Blog (33)

i'm fat so i should eat less

thats what my fam and close friends tell me.

my diet ain't working cuz after a 1.5 vegan i have only gained weight and it's not going anywhere despite the excersice. 

must be the diet. and the TOO MUCH FOOD I EAT.

i don't feel this way but damn. seriously... getting into my head. 

Added by Viktorija on June 24, 2015 at 2:03pm — 4 Comments

Losing weight... or so it seems

soo my journey was rough... i went from 119 to 148 at my highest point.

I've consistently started to feel lighter - and for some reason feel like i eat less, but everytime i log my calls i'm in 2500's. maybe my digestion works better and i don't need to stuff myself anymore as my body finally regained all the calories it needed.

I've been down to 138 the past few weeks and i feel good.

Theres some more to go as i used to (PRE ED) sit very naturally and comfortably at…

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Added by Viktorija on May 6, 2015 at 12:50pm — 3 Comments

I WENT against the rules and got results.... what the fruit

two weeks ago, i was craving an avocado. so i had a whole one

this tendency continued for a week.

i HAD AN AVOCADO or more a day

then i started adding even more pumpkin seeds, GREEN OLIVES, brazil nuts, pistachios....

and i started noticing the more fat i ate - the better my skin and ACNE GOT.

its been two weeks without a BREAKOUT???!?!?!?!?!

EVERYONE BEEN TELLING ME EAT NO OVERT, 5% FOR BEST RESULTS

AND ALL I WAS GETTING a face full…

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Added by Viktorija on February 22, 2015 at 5:22am — 10 Comments

Doing IT wrong ( an honest monologue with my future self)

I've been looking around for reasons why i'm still not where i want to be. And then I remember this buddist saying

You get there by realizing you are already there. 



TAKES some time to understand it. Anyway.

i've found a billion of reasons why i'm not seeing THE RESULTS I WANT...instantly, of course. 

I have been doing it wrong all along.

YOU ONLY THINK you are doing the raw till 4 right.

YOU ONLY THink you EAT…

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Added by Viktorija on December 13, 2014 at 9:26am — 2 Comments

satiation

i've made blog post about it before.

I just started counting calories and i'm in 2500-2800 ccal range lately.

I used to drown 15 banana smoothie in the morning... today it took me 2 hours to drink 10 banana smoothie....

i also feel more on less... my day is high raw with like 300 grams of cooked grain/potato/veggies at night...

i feel so full....

i excersice and maybe some days i can eat 3000 ccals...

But nothing like i used to.

I was…

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Added by Viktorija on November 5, 2014 at 12:26pm — 1 Comment

insane insomnia

i've had occasional sleepless nights when i was much younger. that was by choice.

Now. I desire sleep. And i would say this has become a problem because it happens at least once a week.

sometimes 3 night a week. 

I can have two days where i go to bed at 10 and wake up at 9.

Then there are nights like today. its 3:38 am in the morning, i've been us since 8 am and i'm beating my head against the wall with hysteria. Literally crying that i can't fall asleep. and i…

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Added by Viktorija on November 1, 2014 at 6:41pm — 5 Comments

You will continue to make the same mistakes unless you actually ....

CHANGE SOME **** IN YOUR LIFE AND TRULY UNDERSTAND YOUR MISTAKES. 

so my sorry/stupid/victim-$$$ desided to lower my calories in hopes of seeing some results... 

2000 ccal. AND I FAILED THE SAME NIGHT

ate A…

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Added by Viktorija on October 22, 2014 at 11:00am — 2 Comments

when you decide to celebrate 20+ lbs weight gain.

You wake up and you no longer check if the abs suddenly appeared over night.

They won't

You know nothing has changed. just another morning....

You bust out the scale. You feel light after the good ol' morning dump. You know you're slightly dehydrated so its that time - TO WEIGHT YOURSELF.

You know that no matter what you won't define yourself as that number.

You won't cry or smile... ( secretly hoping its down in the teens or at least 20's) 

But it…

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Added by Viktorija on October 17, 2014 at 4:54am — 9 Comments

been fallin apart in all kinds of ways:feet pain, itching, colds, cuts... hulpppppp

BUT NOT FALLING OFF VEGAN LIFESTYLE. NUH-HUH! ..BUT...

aside from my current progress with food relationship normalization... i'm feeling like CRAPOLA.

i'VE GOTTEN SICK 3 TIMES over past 2.5 months.... two of which pretty severe sore throat/mucus/ 

Feel lethargic... THough i still exercise... i still get in my 3k calories....( prob even more, i don't track...maybe i should now) 

i've been eating more cooked food - DEF. COULD BE IT....also read today and…

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Added by Viktorija on October 16, 2014 at 1:15pm — 3 Comments

o LAWRD JESAS is it really happening

i feel relaxed about food ))) hahhhh

ok it might sound weird but for people coming off of binge-starve cycle - you will understndddd

Basically....it even feels i eat less - buts its not less as in under 2500... its just i don't stuff myself stupid full like i used to in the beginings.... i think my body is finally beginning to trust me - i'm not paranoid i don't have to bring food with me everywhere... i know that i can survive 3 hours without it haha... omg i can't explain how…

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Added by Viktorija on October 6, 2014 at 10:21am — 8 Comments

Relapse. Hysteria...Why stress makes you fat and disappointed over your actions and why having kids is not for everyone

Past month i've moved to europe to help my sister with her kids. my nieces... she just had a newborn and could use some help while her husband is away at work in Emirates. 

First few weeks were fine...but when the sleepless nights, constant stress around family, taking care of old grandparents and kids took over started breaking me apart... i was carbing up - when i had time.. and then something happened yesterday.

I relapsed.

I started looking at non-vegan foods…

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Added by Viktorija on August 27, 2014 at 3:59am — 4 Comments

feel the gain and do it anyway - lemmebeawhiney!@#$%

right. 7 months in

so i'm still gainin' baby. i thought it would be way over by now..

i'm friggin active.. eat 400000000000000000000 plus calories

low salt

maybe an avo a week IF EVEN and some seeds...

no intentional oil/salt/fat ever...

and i just keep on needing bigger clothes.... my body - instead of toning up from all the excersize is just becoming SOFTER.... i'm hydrated... idk Where's The Fruit is wrong with me... aka not with me but…

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Added by Viktorija on August 3, 2014 at 5:30am — 12 Comments

:) clearing up acne

sooo idk if its the summer sun, or carbs, or sport....or all of these things

but honestly my face has been THE BEST its been since the initial start of "detoxing" when i started hcrv lifestyle...I'm supper happy... its still not perfect but its so much smoother now, it has a healthier glow.. and its been months since i put any make up on it... I can't even imagine going back to putting consealer on my face...

yay yay yay.... supper excited....all i do LITERALLY is wash my face…

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Added by Viktorija on July 9, 2014 at 1:35am — 7 Comments

problems.

I eat high carb low fat raw one day

next day i must eat fat. I MUST. no amount of fruit satisfies...

If i eat high carb cooked - i don't need as much fat - BUT i eat like WAY OVER THE TOP......probably if on raw i eat 3500-4000 on cooked i can smash in like 5-6k...

i just want to learn how to TAME THE FAT INTAKE..

i seriously feel fat is making me....fat lol...

gahhh... i got rid of the processed humus - now everywhere i go i want avocado..

i want..…

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Added by Viktorija on July 4, 2014 at 1:50pm — 6 Comments

I refuse to..(Rant)

believe that my mind is weak and that's why i keep falling into eating processed humussss....

I refuse to believe that i can't control my craving for that EVIL THING.

that's the only thing i can't control....i don't buy it myself, but it's in the house and its like crack.

For past 3 days i've been trying to kick my butt back onto the road of RAW food... but kept falling into eating cooked dinners... i know its no big deal but i sincerely want to be back eating raw…

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Added by Viktorija on June 29, 2014 at 6:29am — 3 Comments

BIKE news and ACNEEEE

Been a while.....since i posted. Hectic lifee)

But from major news – I’VE GOT A BIKE. YEYAYAYAYAYA….

And… My acne is out of control – I’’ve been eating pretty much cooked dinners every night – idk if that has to do anything with it – my fat is always under 10%. I drink plenty of h2o, eat my calories and excersice…

I also have developed a really bad PICKING HABBIT of my acne….and they are not like tiny pimples.. they are painful ones you can’t squeeze out…. So I keep…

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Added by Viktorija on June 26, 2014 at 6:30am — 16 Comments

One week away from My vacay in Miami and short update

Kinda worried about what food i'll be able to find... probably going to end up eating a lot of cooked asian food lmfao but its okay.

In the past week I've been feeling all wacky but i'm religiously eating... probably stress at work and school.

so ready to get outtt finallly...

being pretty pissed for not being able to afford a bike right now.. the weather is beautiful and i just can't shit out a grand for a bike because i'm going to europe (back home) in a month and a…

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Added by Viktorija on June 4, 2014 at 2:37am — 4 Comments

WHAT THE FRUCTOSE DID I JUST READ?!

so i was running out of fruit and as a backup plan i was forced to buy NAKED JUICE... and then people saw me CHUG 2 quarts of Mighty Mango juice (1200 ccals) and someone said HOW TERRIBLE IT IS, NOT NATURAL, AND HOW THEY WENT TO COURT AND STUFF... AND THEN I READ AN ARTICLE.... QUOTE!

fructose is a major contributor to elevated triglycerides and elevated LDL, depletion of vitamins and minerals, cardiovascular disease, liver disease, cancer, arthritis and even gout.…

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Added by Viktorija on May 21, 2014 at 1:30pm — 12 Comments

Update, food intake, weight, acne and fun stuff )))

so so so.

Update 1. 

I feel my body is finally self-regulating the food.... no more ravenous - starved body appetite and desire to stuff myself till pain, i seriously ease off the food because i know i can eat whenever and however much i want... i seriously never though that this will ever happen... I thought i'be stuck in the binge and starve cycle forever....I'm so thankful for my body finally realizing that i'm trying to heal it.. Feeling incredible. Feeling satisfied....I…

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Added by Viktorija on May 18, 2014 at 2:00am — 5 Comments

So i had a vegan burrito...

and you've guessed it. I'm about to puke. 

Feel very nauseous and sick...

I had a headache all day... and i noticed my sodium levels are EXTREMELY LOW... most days i'm like 35 MG.....

idk how to get more salt i don't crave salty foods and i cant eat twenty lbs of celery to feel better...

FUCKin burrito though - keep burping up chuncks of puke... YUM...

fucked up... fuckeeed upppppp 

feeling like death... my body has totally shifted gears now... in…

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Added by Viktorija on May 11, 2014 at 2:19pm — 11 Comments

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