30 Bananas a Day!

Women - your feedback please! How do I be the best possible boyfriend?



My girlfriend and I have had a very complex and quite challenging romantic journey together, breakups, other people involved etc. 


We've been together for two years and much of that has been a long distance relationship (not recommended!).


Finally I have realised how much I truly love her and want to be with her, and have taken the plunge and agreed to move to the other side of the country to start a new life living together. 


I would be the first to admit that I haven't always been the best boyfriend, to her or the other women that have been in my life.


I really want this to be different.  I want to demonstrate my love to her every day in every way.  I want to find the right balance and devote my life to making her happy.


Any advice on how to do this?  Tell me about your dream guy, or great things current/former partner did in a relationship.  My key words are loving, supportive, not suffocating, adventurous, spontaneous, romantic, funny and patient.


Please share your thoughts.


Thanks, will be eagerly reading any advice!



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yeah - enjoy her like a big raw sugary piece of fruit - teehee

Don't ever forget Valentine's Day :)

Dream partner:  is kind (to children, parents, other people, animals, earth and self) etc, honest, interesting, has own support network, takes care of his/herself, has job, is tender and patient.  I think she' lucky that you're asking.

Its important to grow together...like two flowers side by side. That is very important. We are always told that you cannot change the other person, but life is about change. Things change around us, change is the only constant in the universe. So, its important to stay side by side as you both "grow" in your relationship together.

I also believe its important to be the cave man (if a woman marries someone who is submissive it will not last as long or be as good as if the man is a man..a true cave man). Your role is the protector so along with loving her, your job is to protect her and the family. 

It sounds like you might have a pretty good start.  I recently read something about how most long term, successful relationships are with people who achieve things together.  When you accomplish something your brain transfers some of the satisfaction of that to an attraction towards the person you're with.  I wouldn't create more conflict than you've already gone through obviously, but do projects together, learn new things.  Saying that, my boyfriend and I have found that we don't work well together.  We both have particular ways of doing things and thinking things through that are different enough that we end up being frustrated with the other.  So we do things on our own and consult with each other when we need a different viewpoint, which seems to work well.

One thing I love about my boyfriend is that if I'm having a petty moment he calls me on it in a way that makes me laugh at myself.  He can be really bad at procrastinating, so I have to kick his ass sometimes to make sure he gets important things done.  I think it's good to figure out when your partner needs you to push them a bit.

Everything you suggested yourself sounds awesome.

HONESTY. TRUTHFULNESS. LOYALTY. cant stress those enough..... LISTENING because if you remember the little things she tells you, she will realize you do care and want to listen to her and take what she says to heart.  caring, make her laugh as much as you can.  i've only had one bf ever, worst experience of my life (verbally abusive).  im glad youre asking for some advice.  but i agree that you should ask her some of these questions.  

I think having good relationships comes from being true to yourself and focusing on what is most important to you in life, like developing positive qualities, a strong mind etc.  When you are happy you can't help but share it with those around you and when you are miserable, the same happens.  If you two could make it to one of these 10 day free meditation courses, you'll have a wonderful tool for the rest of your lives.  Here is a nice explanation of it: http://www.dhamma.org/en/art.shtml



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