Hey fellow fruities, here's my epic fail..
I know most of you like me move into a place and simply see the stove as extra counter space to store ripening fruit and are probably guilty of sending some cute pictures of fruit on your oven captioned 'see I do use it after all' - well, lovelies, tread carefully...
Watermelon. Watermelon is in season here in Kingston Canada so I've been eating it in abundance and naturally buying it in large quantities. A large watermelon for three dollars? Yes, please, I think I shall.. X 3 or 4 for now. So I chop one up for work and keep two on my stove. On the third day I come home from a night shift and my kitchen has become home to a colony of fruit flies and the smell on initial impact is not the usual suble aroma of ripening bananas, but instead a lovely putrid sour smell. But.. How? I think to myself as I kick off my shoes in dead exhaustion from a 12 hour overnight shift. So my tired nose leads me to my stove and on it sits a beautiful watermelon with some juice sitting below it. So I wipe up the juice and search the melon and come across a hole. The smell seems to be gone so I figured most of the melon was probably still good and I'd fix it in the morning. So like any good nurse would do I cleansed the wound with some water and patched it up with some Saran Wrap and called it a day deciding to deal with it when I woke up later that afternoon.
Wrong. I wake up. Bam. Smell. I'm mad. So I march out the kitchen mad at the melon for causing such a smell and pick it up to check the damage (something I had failed to do that morning out of sheer exhaustion) and the ENTIRE melon is rotten. It's hollow and sloshy and I doubt it would have made it to the green bin without collapsing in on itself and all over me and my house (much like my overstuffed compost bag did three days prior). So I put the whole melon in the freezer and embarked on attempting to clean up the mess. About thirty minutes later I'm starving due to my lack of banana smoothie that my body now demands meer minutes from waking I think I've accomplished the majority of it so me and my new now country-sized portion of fruit flies embarked on making said smoothie. I always enjoy it in front of my bay windows so I did the same and then went about my business and went back to work.
On my return home I am expecting nothing but the usual hint of banana aroma when I open my front door but what do I smell? You guessed it. Turns out the juice soaked down into the bowls of the elements and spilled into the bottom of my stove. So I'm simply defeated at this point and 730 am after a night shift is not the time to deal with such battles so I dump a wack ton of vinegar on the whole stove without a word of warning to the now continental proportions of fruit flies.
I awaken. And my mom and cousin are visiting. I explain. Why the smell hasn't left yet is beyond me so I keep with the vinegar and scrubbing and hope for the best.
The next day a friend visits. I explain in a much more desperate tone that I have no idea where on earth the smell could be coming from. He opens the oven. Somehow (as a 22 year old who's never cooked and been raw the entire time I've been in my place I have no idea the inner connections of the oven), the juice got INTO MY %*^£#+#£#+<£ oven!!! So here I am, a raw vegan, going to the store to buy oven cleaner and spending days and days and days cleaning my stove while opening a fruit fly resort that was much scoffed at by my visitors.
Tomorrow I attempt to finish this for good with the oven. Then I give my lovely housemates one day to check out before I bring out the cups because i consider myself a vegan but I cannot say for sure a fruit fly or two didn't end up in the blender.
So, fellow fruities, ovens may be best as ovens. Or at least stick to bananas.