Ok guys so I have a major issue. I am the first one in my family to ever go vegan, and my family is not taking it very well at all. My mom, who is the person who I am around the most, keeps on tricking me or forcing me to eat dairy or meat, and My brother is bullying me because of my dietary choice. For example, today I had marching band and musical practices back to back, and I had to eat my dinner in the car. My mom gave me broccoli and chicken smothered in cheese and had this nasty look on her face when she made me eat it. I tried to tell her no, but she said that she would start taking me to an anorexic clinic if i didn't eat it(by the way, i am not in the least anorexic and i went vegan so that i could lose weight safely and become healthier). So I ate it and have been feeling horrid ever since. Then, every time we go to the grocery story, my mom looks at me like I just walked into a minefield and started kicking the bombs when I go into the fruit section and start loading our grocery cart up with the large amounts of fruit that I should be eating. Finally, night and day, my brother is always making remarks about how "If you only ate better you would feel better," and "Your such a stupid hippy, come and eat a hamburger." The only meal anymore that I can eat truly vegan is lunch, and that is because I pack my own lunch to go to school. All I want to do is be a happy healthy vegan. What should I do? All advice is much appreciated.
If your not in a position to get a part time job, to pay for your own groceries , then you need to sit your mother down and explain to her that it's your body, and your going to norish it in what ways you feel are best.
Don't whine or plead becouse your mother is Probably currently seeing you as " A rebelous teenager just going through a phase" And most likley truely belives Knows what's best for you.
Tell her that if she's willing to discuss it in a civilized manor, that you will have an answer to any of her concerns.
To that end, Make sure you do your research, that way whatever concern she can level, you'll have an answer.
Your ending statement should always be to let her know that on toip of all the evidence, it also makes you feel great, and it's what you feel is right for you.
Offer to get blood tests done as well as, if your willing to do so , get a part time job to help pay for the produce. If she turly thinks your serius and starts to realize it's not a "Phase " or even if it is, that your commited to it. Then eventualy she will drop from forbidance to disaproval.
Who cares if she doesn't like it, so long as she doesn't stop you.
I would also recomend not mentioning animal rights, since she's already going to be on edge, without feeling like you might be judging her.
Other then that, mabie show her examples online of other people who are suceeding on vegan diets.
Omg thank you sooooo much for your time! I will do all of these things tomorrow!
Easy solved; just like your lunch get your own meals ready. Perhaps even ask your mother for your weekly food allowance - tell her, I am taking this chore off your back and happy to take responsibility wholly and solely for myself. Say, you want that don't you; to raise me to be an independent responsible adult.
If she still carries on suggest you prep meals for the whole family; kick her out of the kitchen. Yeah but be careful not to fall for putting death into your body. I couldn't imagine ever coming within a thousand feet of someone who deliberately tricked me into eating the dead flesh of innocent animals.
Could be just me but I deem your mother's actions as child abuse - no more no less. Also to help yourself put some major effort into educating yourself and your family members as to the health benefits of a high fruit and greens diet. Personal I have overcome a state of being totally bedridden with Arthritis and chronic asthma on a raw food diet.
Good luck sweetheart
Thank you so much!!!! By the way I find your success story totally inspiring and amazing. It shows me just how wonderful a raw vegan lifestyle can be.
This sounds like a similar experience with my mother only its mental hospital with mine she has never forced me to eat meat but has said that my being vegan is making everyone around me angry at me and other things like that what I would do is tell her it is not wrong to be a vegan and not want to hurt a poor animal, it is not annorexuc to eat only vegan. if you are having that much trouble show her the vegan food options that you will eat give her lists as to why it is healthier than the chicken and show her videos on veganism and how it is good for the body and the planet, describe to her it is not an eating disorder that it doesnt promot one like most diets, and tell her most importantly it is not a diet it is a lifestyle :D but also try and prove to her you can do this and pay for your own foods by getting a job after school or on the weekends, get a bike and start riding around she cant stop you from doing that, but be safe doing so :D gl :D you have plenty of support here!
How can Fruitarianism be Annorexia when your able to eat more callories then anyone around you, and still stay slim
Hey there :) I agree with Haven Raye...child abuse. When my mother was a child, she abhorred flesh foods but her mother gave her no choice and did not provide an alternative....she now thinks of this as abusive behaviour. Since she was never given an alternative she was consequently a very thin, little girl....always hungry. She now makes up for it...we (her children) always have loads of vegan choice in our pantry, bench (boxes of beautiful fruits) and fridge.
Don't let anyone 'make' you eat flesh and secretions darl. She cannot physically force you so don't be blackmailed into it :'(
I understand exactly how u feel, thats whats happening with me! the first thing u have to do is think of ur decision. Do u REALLY think u need to do this (ull get the answer of yes lol). Then ask urself WHY?? after that u sit with your mother and just be truthfully honest with her, sit down and tell her how u feel and why u are doing all of this. Tell her that ur eating more that her, since ur calorie intake is 2000+ tell her the benifits and she might want to be like u, u never know!
1) Nobody, and I repeat NOBODY can "Force" you to eat anything. This is Your body. Claim it.
2) Mother of the year goes to your mom for insulting her own child. What a disgrace of a human being to be so far gone and aggressive from all of the meat eating that she can not even show compassion toward her own spawn by not having the self control to stop name calling. I am SO sorry.
I'm sorry to hear of the current horrid situation you are experiencing.
You will have to learn to prepare your own meals. I think Heaven Raye's idea is a good one - asking your mom for access to your weekly food allowance, at least a portion of it.
There is a wide variety of plant foods to choose from; fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds. Develop a few simple 'go to' recipes that can be prepared quickly and simply which you like.
Make sure that you show that you are eating well in front of your mother so she doesn't think you are suffering from anorexia - including a variety of plant foods.
I've been vegan for over 15 years and when I visit my parents most of the time I have to prepare my own dishes as my parents aren't vegan.
You might want to check out the link below about vegans who are successful in sports. It's something you can show to your brother to try to counter some of the false beliefs he has about vegans - I've heard just about all of them I think.
Below is a link to a food tip series I write about and includes some simple recipes.
Just scroll down the page for all of the previous food tips.
1st tell them to F off..
2nd don't eat the crap your mother tries to forcefeed you.. tell her yes bring me to the clinic, within a half hour they will tell your mother that she abuses her child.