30 Bananas a Day!

Hi everyone! I'm new to this lifestyle and super new to the forum. Nice to meet you all! Before I begin, a few stats: I am an 18 year old female from Brazil. I am about 160cm or 5'3". I currently weigh around 56kg or 124lbs. While this is still within a healthy range, it's way too much for someone who had a very slim figure her whole life. Before putting on weight, my weight stabilized at 49/50kg (110lbs) for over two years. 

Similarly to many ladies here, unfortunately, I'm also struggling deeply with self-esteem and body image issues. I'm completely dissatisfied with my body and have been for a long time. I was slim all my life, but at around 16 (I'm 18 now) I suddenly and for no apparent reason, put on a lot of weight. Since then, my self-esteem has been sent to the trash.

That said though, I really don't think I can say I come from a very restrictive background. I was never formally diagnosed with an eating disorder. I did go through a phase that lasted a couple of months when I somewhat restricted my calories and replaced dinner with a protein shake (yuck). But that's it, really. I fought to eat significantly less than I did during my childhood and early teens, but I was really not restricting to a great extent. My love for food prevented me from doing that.

I've been a vegan for over a year, and only transitioned to a raw till 4, 90/5/5 ratio a few weeks ago. I follow all of the guidelines here - I keep my sodium very, very low, mostly only eat rice, corn and potaoes for dinner, I eat my lettuce, etc. So, I keep seeing everybody saying that on this lifestyle, initial weight gain is common because your body is healing from metabolic damage due to a restrictive, dieting background. Well, what if that's not the case? Really the only thing that I've been doing for the past year and a half or so is changing my dietary habits frequently. But I've always had a very clean diet, which was hardly ever restrictive. What then? I have gained a few pounds already from being on this lifestyle, which is okay! I know it's because, even if I wasn't necessarily restricting my calories, I was certainly not eating around 2500 calories a day as I am now. I also feel great, which is fantastic. But. I really do wish I would lose some weight. I know I have to be patient, and I'm trying to be, really! But it's so difficult when I feel so terrible about myself already. The extra weight has been on me for so long and it's made me feel terrible. I want to look as great as I feel! 

I know this is a bit of an annoying subject (and I talked a lot!), so I apologize in advance. I would also like to thank anybody in advance for their replies. Best wishes to all! 

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Well yeah, I definitely wasn't eating enough fruits & raw veggies, but I was eating way more calories then than I am now, so that's my theory why I didn't gain any.



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