30 Bananas a Day!

While I've respect for many people regardless of their dietary inclinations, the idea of dating a non-vegan... seems a bit repulsive, however perhaps this is limiting myself of aspects that can be gained otherwise from a relationship with someone. Frankly not a lot of vegans out there. :/ 

Met this wonderful person who went on/off with phases of being vegetarian. Am in quite the dilemma in regards to backing off the start of the relationship, and perhaps defining boundaries for future scenarios. Perhaps even regretful.

On the other hand, you can easily say, well - what if they change with your influence? Curious to hear ya'll opinions.

Happy weekend,

Eli 

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It can be a tough one at times but if you were to write a list of what you truly desire in a partner would "vegan" be high on that list? If the answer is yes then I recommend sticking with that standard and becoming a magnet for that person you truly want. Write that list! Good link in the meantime ;)

http://www.30bananasaday.com/group/801010singles?xg_source=activity

Thanks Freelee. That's a good thought; looks like priorities are high to be with a vegan. However, this'll probably need a bit of thought before hastily moving forth. The factor of "changing" them with influence doesn't seem a good one to pursue. I don't like telling people what to do, and vice a versa. Been single for that reason of compromise for a while. Will check out that group there. I appreciate your advice. :)

I think it's rather insignificant whether someone is vegan or not early in a relationship.  Most people are just unaware of why someone would be vegan and they will adapt a vegan lifestyle after being with someone who is vegan for long enough.  By starting a relationship with someone non-vegan you're committing to nothing.  I feel like people need to stop obsessing over finding a perfect soul mate and just accept relationships as just a temporary thing.  People change.  This is where you are now so live in the moment.  If you find someone and there is mutual attraction and your personalities are compatible you have the means to start a relationship.  Anything else is irrelevant.  Obviously your criteria will be raised once you're considering marriage or other big steps furthering a relationship.  It seems to me that vegans who will only date other vegans end up in relationships where the only thing holding them together is the similarity in diet.  There's so much more to life than this lifestyle.  If you mesh with someone on 9/10 things, and that one thing you don't mesh on is veganism, then that's a sad reason to pass up on what would be a great relationship.

I think it's very significant because it's so interconnected with high importacne other issues.
I would suggest go through this disclaimer yourself and ask him question by question are those things important for him or not. and then would he be willing to spend 1-2h to watch any of below documentaries to double check is that a right time for him to wake up :

Personal Responsibility Speciesism Disclaimer for strenghtening You or you might like to forward this for your friends:
If you don't want to be called Speciesist (like a 'racist' against other species) and be part of the problem for those issues, where eating meat/dairy/eggs is No.1 CAUSE for each and all of those world problems:
1) World HUNGER ( because of waste of resources . 1bln people are living below 1.25$/day. 30mln deaths/y from hunger. UN info)
2) CARDIOVASCULAR disease (611000death/y in US . Cdc.gov info)
3) CANCER (594000 death/y in US. Cdc.gov info )
4) WATER Pollution (see Cowspiracy )
5) GHG EMMISIONS ( Green House Gases from cars/planes/shipes together emmits 13%, eating meat/milk/eggs emmits 51% ).
6) DEFORESTATION ( 91% Amazon cutting is done by meat/milk/eggs industry )
7) DESERTIFICATION ( which calls for use of synthetic fertilisers and chemicals to make plants growing)
8) ANIMAL distinction and ABUSE (makes humans the most inhumane spiecie )

Then please Help yourself to empathise with worlds most forgotten victims:
 1) http://adaptt.org/life-changing-speech.html by Gary Yourofsky
  (30languages subtitle links in description...)
2) : Cowspiracy - The Sustainability Secret (2014).mp4 goo.gl/F0kmEJ
3) documentary EARTHLINGS ( go to freedocumentaries org/documentary/earthlings )
4) documentary SPECIESISM ( go to putlocker . is/watch-speciesism-the-movie-online-free-putlocker . html )

Thank you for cooperation on raising awareness on what we can do daily to live least cruel lifestyle.
Most of cultures went too violent for Taste, Convenience, Tradition, Habbit reasons so it's wrong and its up to us to change those parts of culture, rather than just enjoy learning them and allow those traditions continuing spread violence.

To Your Health and Inner Peace,
Minda

Minda, it's great you've raised these issues. I couldn't agree more that these are detrimental for all our existence, and of our animal companions. There is a point though, where you realize a sharp distinction between ignorance and apathy. Ignorance simply being at a certain stage of life in which the environment has predisposed you to know certain things, and act in a certain way. Apathy being on how you see new environments and knowledge come your way. I've met far more people on the ignorant side, but not on the apathetic side, fortunately (when it's apathy, it's often both). When you express a message in a way that resonates with people, regardless of where they are in their journey, I think change can be a lot more impactful. 

Dominic, I can see that. Thank you for the thoughtful response. I've been one to get into a lot of relationships for the sake of "fixing" the other person - not in a bad sense of the word (more of a person having problems they wish to resolve), becoming someone's counselor made a mutual attraction of more of a one-sided relationship. Hence I'm wary of committing to a relationship to commit to turn them vegan. But as you mention, it may happen just naturally.

I agree that people are beyond their dietary preferences, and that if the mutual basis was veganism and none only, then there would be problems. I'm focusing on issues that have little to nothing (in a direct way) to do with my diet and lifestyle. Will think a little about the ramifications of all of this. I'm definitely one to only care for long-term relationships. Short term flings are not fun. 

One thing you should NOT do, is accepting a non-vegan out of fear of lack that you won't meet a vegan, if vegan is your preference. Choosing out of lack will land you with guaranteed conflict and suffering in that relationship. You have to choose out of YES! and excitement, if you want success and a happy relationship. But, if you have karma you need lessons from that you have not yet learned, it doesn't matter ;) A negative relationship is a wonderful learning opportunity.

Beyond that, it is not whether or not they are a vegan NOW that matters, I think. It is their open mindedness, how likeminded are you? How much chemistry do you have, when you dare be yourself with that person? If you feel like you can be yourself with them, that you can speak your mind and it be received happily or with curiosity, then like Dominic said, it is a big chance that they will turn vegan.
But if their heart is closed to it, and you can't seem to budge it, that it is a boundary you have a hard time crossing, like there is friction there, I would think twice.
Base a relationship on happiness, excitement, love, passion.
If you are not there right now, work on yourself. Meditate, learn from life, reflect, do forgiveness work, do other self-developing stuff, become the positive version of yourself, the one that your ideal partner is seeking. Then it becomes much easier.

I love your perspective, Svein. There is only one way to find out! C'est la vie.

Will have to contemplate this for a little while, on how open-minded they are. An image someone gives early down the road is not always the indicator for the far future. I think seeing one's true colors takes a lot of practice and experience, that a early 20s guy like me needs to still get the hang of.

You give a wonderful reminder to meditate and focus on development. Will absolutely do.

Peace,

Eli

Awesome Eli. Yeah, contemplate and feel into it, that is really smart! Then you are listening to your life :) Then you are safe.
You actually already know, and by doing this, you can connect with what you already have figured out. Our subconscious notices everything instantly, always.
What makes me make mistakes, every time I make them, is unconscious fear attached to the situation I fai in. So when I contemplate, meditate, on those areas, I suddenly become aware of those fears and pains, and then I gain the insights that I need - to know exactly what I need to do, with certainty and clarity.

I give myself all the time I need to reach that point of clarity, before I make decisions now. And I think that is exciting. But I had to learn to appreciate the need for that, the hard and slow way. Haha.

I married one 29 years ago.
I modified to some cheese, butter to make going out easier (and EXTENSIVE traveling).
We go where I can get a "not boring" veg meal, whe can have her high quality fish dinners, and too much beer.
She is far healthier than almost any vegetarian or vegan I know, even at 56. At 27, she had never had frozen or canned food, nor processed meat like hot dogs.
At 45 and 47, she completed the countries 3rd hardest 50 mile ultra endurance mountain trailrun (Squaw Peak 50), where in June, on a good year only has 5-7 miles of deep snow on steep trails. (one year was close to 25 miles of deep snow).
I do not pay attention to what she orders at restaurants, nor do I watch her eat...we talk and converse...and 10 minutes later if someone asks me what she had..."I do not have a clue"....
Now, I am 64, she is 56. She is rapidly aging in looks, I still have to show ID to prove I am older than 40. (I am older than Doug Graham, and look younger...I have a good idea why....but this site not the place to get "into it"...and besides, his personal life is "none of my business")
If I had held out for a Vegan girlfriend, I would have missed out on a wife who ran 100 mile ultra-endurance high altitude single day trailruns with me.
Or the 6 week hike to Base Camp Everest...(we did not fly in like the expeditions do...)
Or the camping out in the Sernghetti...(had terrifying moments I did not sign up for).
At 50, she could kayak with full camping gear for a week throuh barrier reefs and up to 25 miles of open water and ocean...when the local 20 year old locals felt that 5 miles without gear was "maximum" ( 2 years we camped out for a week on beaches used to film "Survivor".)
We summitted Kilimonjaro together
We hiked for a week deep in the Andes where in a day we went from 100°F jungle to over live snowstorms on 14,000 ft passes and back down in a day...and across footbridges over incredible canyons you only see in Indiana Jones movies.
We skied over 100 days a few years.
She did extreme mountain bike trails where she was double the age of anyone else on the trail all day.
She is an avid shark diver, we have been to the Red Sea (Sinai of Egypt) 9 times for the big shark there...and often in the South Pacific for dropping into schools of 100 shark or more. Wemhave 200 shark dives in our dive log...we are both cerified "Rescue Divers"...
I could triple this list...but you get the idea. I would have missed out if I had held out for a vegan girl.
I suggest that you do "hold out" for one that allows you to have your "extreme diet" without harassment enjoys it with you alongside her meat...and one who will watch out for you when food is offered...

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