I want this lifestyle; to feel vibrant, happy, slim, toned.
My only problem is that weight distribution after anorexia; my stomach is digusting--it jiggles, feels flabby, bulges, etc.
I'm active; exercising at LEAST an hour a day, if not more (usually running, swimming, biking, rollerblading), and I eat easily 95% raw; the only cooked food I eat is sweet potatoes and broccoli.
I've been vegan for over a year, and have been trying this lifestyle (though not getting 3,000 kcal, more like 1500 ish) since January, and it's so hard accepting this weight gain.
So, if you have an ED past, how did you deal with your weight distribution? It's driving me MAD. And it doesn't help that I'm surrounded by flat-stomach, perfect-figure teenage girls all day (I'm in high school), who have rapid metabolisms, while I'm stuck here with a fatso stomach eating barely anything.
As someone who has come from a long ED past, I can totally relate to what you're going through. It is very tough going through that initial adjustment phase as your body starts to balance itself at a healthy weight, especially if you're used to being underweight. Body dysmorphia is extremely difficult because it messes with your perception of what you really look like. I still deal with this sometimes. You may want to visit http://www.mybodygallery.com/index.html. This website has helped me a lot to get a clearer idea of what my body actually may look like and to realize that even at a healthy weight I'm really not a fat cow. Also, I highly recommend you look up Freelea's channel on YouTube. A couple of her latest videos are all about how she came from anorexia and bulimia into a LFRV lifestyle. It's very inspiring & I think you could benefit from it.
Also, you may want to try strength training. I've found building muscle to be empowering & helpful for me. I know from experience that conquering an ED is not always easy. I lived with eating disorders for at least 16 yrs. of my life and would still consider myself to be in recovery, although I've been doing a WHOLE LOT better since following a vegan (mostly raw) lifestyle and being active. They say it can take 5-7 yrs. to truly recover from an ED so just hang in there & be patient. If you ever need anyone to talk to about this stuff, please do feel free to hit me up. And good luck!! :)
Well.. like it or not, your body has it's OWN agenda (trying to stay alive while you're trying to kill it..) and it gets priority over your agenda (fortunately for you, otherwise you'd be long gone from all the abuse..) YET you're still complaining.. I don't get it.. don't you value your health and life at all?? don't you want to STAY ALIVE???
I would honestly cut down a little on cardio, and focus on strength training. when you strength train, you gain muscle and it makes you look REALLY good :) muscle weight gain is HOT HOT HOT!!
also, I recommend putting delicious, sweet things into smoothies (like coconut, dates, and super sweet fruits) it tastes like dessert! also, eating raw won't make you feel disgustingly flabby or anything (like some cooked food does, and ALL junk food does!)
all you have to know is.... you are beautiful! how you feel inside is how you appear outside! if you feel all squeaky clean, healthy, and pretty on the inside, it'll show to your outsides :)