I have had this saved for several years and can't recall where I got it from, but I always get a kick out of reading it. Sad and humorous at the same time....
The death ceremony started as a crude ritual, back in the days of witchcraft. In recent years, it has been developed into a step-by-step science. It usually takes from 10 to 15 years, however modern scientific advancements are shortening this period of time.
It starts with one simple aspirin for a simple headache. When the one aspirin will no longer cover up the headache, take two. After a few months, when two aspirin will no longer cover up the headache, you take one of the stronger compounds.
By this time, it becomes necessary to take something for the ulcers and excessive bleeding that have been caused by the aspirin. Now that you are taking two medicines, you have a good start and are doing your share to support the pharmaceutical industry. After a few months, these medications will disrupt your liver function.
If a good infection develops, you can take some penicillin. Of course, the penicillin will damage your red blood corpuscles and spleen so that you develop anemia. Another medication is then taken to cover up the anemia.
By this time, all of these medications will put such a strain on your kidneys, they should break down. You are now prepped to start the rounds of high-tech antibiotics. When these destroy your natural resistance to disease, you can expect a general flair-up of all of your symptoms.
The next step is to cover up all of these symptoms with sulfa drugs. When the kidneys finally plug up, you can have them drained, or perhaps replaced---if you're rich enough. Various poisons will build up in your system, but you can keep going quite a while this way.
By now the medications will be so confused they will not know what they are supposed to be doing, but it does not really matter. If you have followed every step as directed, you can make an appointment with your undertaker. Note: if you are really rich, you can delay just a bit more by having a liver transplant. You may as well use some of that money you earned with long hours, hard work, and general bodily abuse.
This game is played by practically all Americans, except for the few ignorant souls who follow Natural Hygiene.