I don't normally post here, but I'm usually lurking around and reading tons... :)
Right now I'm in a bind and I'm freaking out! I would love some feedback or anything to calm me! And I apologize in advanced because this is so very long...
Here's my problem:
Because I am still "in recovery" from my eating disorder, my mother insists on taking me to see a therapist, nutritionist, and medical doctor. I see myself as nearly 100% recovered now, and that only happened after adopting this diet and following it to a T. As far as the doctors go, the therapist I'm fine with, but the other two refuse to accept or even entertain the notion that this diet is healthy!
I explained an average day to my nutritionist being:
She then proceeded to tell me that I wasn't getting ANY protein or fat! God forbid I eat don't eat nuts and avocados! I tried to explain to her that fruits and vegetables have all the protein and fat we need already in them in the correct quantities and that eating nuts would skew the ratio because they have far more fat than protein, but she wouldn't hear it. She (and my mother) kept saying that they weren't the right kinds of proteins and fats and I got so worked up and felt so cornered I started crying. They aren't the right kinds, yet I'm gaining weight as muscle, I can bike ride farther everyday, want to explore and smile and share my happiness with others because I have more boundless child like energy than ever before! But they aren't the right kinds so clearly I must have low energy, be freezing all the time because I never eat fat and exhibit signs of protein deficiency! Its funny, because these things she expects were all the side effects of eating nothing as when I was deeply in my eating disorder. I just wish everyone would understand how amazing I feel when I eat this way! It isn't fair. They say it is wrong and weird and crazy and unhealthy yet they have no idea. They have never read the things I've read or seen the things I've seen. They haven't tried it, they've only heard of it and think it crazy but they don't know how great I feel!
She also continuously mentioned that there were no long term studdies on the health effects of this diet. I said sure, she had me there because I didn't know of any off the top of my head, but I'm wasn't really looking at studies of people, I was looking at the actual people! So many examples exist on this site alone of all the successes! Just look at Durianrider and Freelee for crying out loud! I wish I could have told her that I like to take advice from people who are actually fit. Sure she looks relatively decent as far as health goes but clearly doesn't exercises and only god knows what is going on inside her body.
She tried to convince me that I should at least look into tofu and soy milk and I cringed. I kept thinking, why should I?! I get every nutrient I need from my diet besides vitamin D, which I go out in the sun around noon everyday to absorb, and B-12 which I take a supplement for. I eventually ended up telling her I would look into soy milk and that seemed to placate her a bit. But still, here is the biggest problem:
She had my medical doctor order a blood test for my albumin levels. She is concerned that my protein level is dangerously low. I agreed that if the test came back and was indeed lower than average as she so passionately expects, I would look into increasing my protein intake.
But I don't want to! I don't want to change anything. I am finally happy and getting healthier by the day as I feel my body thank me each time I eat and exercise and sleep.
I'm nervous that the test will come back low and then everything will come crashing down around me. I'm nervous that I'll be pressured into eating stupid GMO soybean products, or other less than optimal foods like quinoa, beans, or rice. The last time I had rice, I thought I was going to be sick! The taste is disgusting without salt and sauces. I don't know how I could change my ways now that I have found my groove and love every single meal! I finally love life again! Not to mention my disordered thoughts have practically vanished! I know that if I go back to a cooked diet the thoughts will return and I will be sucked into my eating disorder again.
I feel lost and scared and I wish I could be confident that my protein levels will be quite normal but I feel that its a toss up at this point!
Yes, indeed, CONGRATULATIONS! You should put the issue to bed now, and not worry about future tests. My doctor is always telling me my tests are bad, because that is his expectation. Then when I ask specifically what the number is and what the normal range is, he looks at his computer and tells me the number and tells me it is in range. Then he says, "We have to keep an eye on it, tho." Whatever. You won!
Yes! We must keep an eye on everything!
Its so funny how doctors insist that vegans must be an unhealthy nutrient deficient no matter what the numbers show!
Woohoo so happy to read this!!
thanks for this! You are so right about nearly everything. My situation is tricky right now, but I know I will carry on with this lifestyle regardless of what others may think because I'm done treating myself poorly and want to finally find true health.
Hi Corrtney, I will also add that now that you are feeling calmer and more reassured, I wonder if you can try to empathize with the depth of your mom's fear and overwhelm? You were killing yourself before, and I imagine she was genuinely terrified. It would probably help to directly discuss this with your mom and acknowledge her feelings. Even to apologize, if you feel willing and the apology could be genuine. Just acknowledging that you know that your mom loves you a lot and doesn't want to see you come to any harm out loud might go a long way to calming her down.