Read this > Debunking the concept of "starting over"
Your biggest obstacle to get through/past/over is coming to the conclusion as to WHY you ate the once living animal. Once you have figured this out, then you other issues will start unraveling and thus be easier to sort through.
I understand your difficult position (I was there two years ago..). However, probably, the reason as to why you feel like you binge too much, especially during the holidays is because you're under carbed. Maybe you feel like your eating enough fruit during the day, but in reality (with your body's cravings for other foods) you may not be eating enough for yourself. I recommend though, if you haven't already heard this speech, to click on the link I will post below of this paragraph. It helped me get on track and have a stable walk down this amazing lifestyle (make sure to watch it completely!). Also, if you feel like you can't be Raw 'til 4, there is no shame in maintaining a high carb low fat vegan lifestyle...Hope it helped! Best of luck!