I feel the same about having kids! I dont know why everybody seems to think that to live a full life you have to have babies!! I dont think thats necessary! About having a partner... I really dont know, sometimes I feel like I want someone, but I also think I dont really need another human being to be happy; I know I need good relationships around me.. but being married doesnt look as a necessity for me! ;)
I know! Parents always are giving conflicting opinions about having kids too! It goes from "they're the best thing that ever happened to me" to "i never have any me time, they get on my nerves, etc"
I feel like I want a partner sometimes too but I feel like I want to have settled down on my own first. That way I wouldn't have to move or change careers to accommodate someone (assuming we live in the same area) But for now, friends and myself are all the company I need ;)
^ Haha that is because it is the best of both worlds being a parent. It is for sure a challenge sometimes, and there are times you want to throw them to the damn moon. But even through all of that, you are so protective and full of love for those littles. Like a marriage, you're in it for better or worse.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship or kids. Just be you, because in the end you are the only person who will be looking out for your own happiness. As somebody who has been in a long term relationship I am also not to keen on them. Now if only my parents would stop saying "when you marry a rich vegan farmer....."
I don't get the big deal about them either! I mean sure they can be cute but to have to deal with them all the time? I'd rather just be amused by other people's kids and then go home to some peace and quiet lol.
I definitely know that I can be happy on my own (since I have been for my whole life) but I wonder sometimes if a partner would make my life better. I'm sure in some respects it would but in others it would add potential conflict and arguments (things I really don't like) so I guess I'll just live how I want as an individual and if someone manages to squeeze their way into my life without disrupting my flow, good for them ;)
+1. Indeed. Live the life the way YOU want it, not what's custom in the society. I'm in the same boat. I was married briefly, and divorced. Married life is not for me. And definitely don't want any kids either. People say that you need to have kids for someone to take of you when you're old. But there are no guarantees in life. I volunteer with the elderly. Some of them have 3-4 kids, who never visit, and generally just don't care..
For now I enjoy my own company and that of my friends. I feel very comfortable doing things by myself. One of the things I most enjoy is traveling solo - bliss! :)
I've been single for 4 years and I pretty much have every intention of staying that way. I think I would like to possibly live with someone in a community housing situation with other vegans because I do hate that I'm always alone, but more like that I want someone to cook dinner with or go to the movies with, not that I want someone to plan a future with. I don't get much of the "when you get married someday" or "when you have kids" because I was in a relationship for 4 years and I have a 6 year old daughter, but I do get lots of "you should really meet my friend whose single!" or "go flirt with that guy, he's so cute!" or "I hope someday you meet someone as awesome as my significant other!" I totally envision myself being alone with dogs as opposed to getting married someday.
Although I might be kind of jaded. I didn't have the best at home example with my parents getting a divorce when I was 5 and my mom dating a guy for 10 years who would never commit to being in an actual relationship. My child's father was abusive. I also had an affair with someone who has been with his girlfriend now for 15 years and they raised her two kids together. Being the "other woman" kind of makes you question to what degree you can ever really trust anyone.
@Pixie. Having an affair is not necessary. You can do better than that. You want to be The One, not "the other". I understand your concern about trusting others, but can you be trusted in a relationship? It takes two to tango.
Lol, well it doesn't make much of a difference if I'm hell bent on being single does it?
I do not see why you are hell bent on being single. Woman with a child is not a deal-breaker for many men. There are many men who are single fathers, too. Forget about affairs, think and act like a lady, and you will attract a nice gentleman.
I never said that I thought having a child was a deal breaker for anyone. So where did that come from?
I said "had" not "having" an affair and I was talking about that in the context of numerous other experiences which MAY have made me jaded and less idealistic about the prospect of long term monogamous relationships. Regardless of my reasoning, I think I have the right to choose to be single without people telling me if I did this or that that I'd attract the "right" person, because I'm not interested in attracting anyone, right or not, "gentlemen" or sleazy bag. I'm interested in being single.