This is something I recently starting sharing. I have kept this a well hidden secret from almost everyone I know, including my family. I
decided it was time to open up and tell people about my struggle with
schizophrenia and mental illness that has plagued me since I was 12
Starting at the age of 12 I have suffered from severe depression and in my late teens I started hearing voices. I never told anyone about
this due to fear of being institutionalized. I saw how people suffering
from schizophrenia were treated and medicated into a zombie state and I
didn't want that. Instead I told people I was depressed, which was also
true and I was medicated for that. Which didn't help my depression or
schizophrenia for very long, but it did make me not feel or care about
my condition. I was medicated for 10 years until 4 years ago when I had
my gal bladder removed, which at that time I figured my gal bladder was
why I had also been feeling physically sick most of my life. After it
was removed I felt even sicker and through determination to survive I
found raw food. Raw food was a huge change from the fast food diet that I
had grown up eating. I did manage to switch over and I felt great, at
that time with the knowledge I had I was eating strictly fruit. Also
when I started raw food I weighed 250 lbs and I lost 120lbs in the
process. Not only did I feel great but my depression and schizophrenia
disappeared and I quit taking the medication (that was 3 months of
horrible drug with-drawls). A few months after going raw I was
introduced to other raw food people and raw gourmet . I thought that was
great. I could eat all these foods that tasted like my old foods and it
was good for me...ha...or so I thought. After 3 months of raw gourmet
the voices started to come back in full swing. It was about that time
when I met Michele and she told me about 80/10/10. I read the book and
knew that it was right on. I switched to lfrv and the voices were gone
again. I was having trouble though, in giving up the raw potlucks. I
really liked the connection with other people and sharing food together.
So I went to a raw potluck, fell for the temptation and ate a bunch of
raw gourmet food. I figured once in a while it was ok. Well, that
evening the voices in my head were screaming at me in full force and I
ended up banging my head on the wall over and over screaming back at the
voices. I gave myself two black eyes and knocked myself out. My 8 year
old daughter had been home at the time and slept through this all in her
room, while my boyfriend at that time knew about my schizophrenia checked on my daughter while I was going through this
to make sure she was ok. The next morning my boyfriend got scared and
called the ambulance because when I was blacked out it looked as if I
was having seizures. The police and ambulance came and took me to the
hospital and institutionalized me for 24 hours. They also took my
daughter into state custody.
I wrote about that situation on here at that time, though I didn't mention that I had schizophrenia.
That was a big wake up call. I needed to keep myself healthy or I would be put away for a long time and ruin not only my life but my daughters as well.
I did get a lawyer and $8,000 dollars later got my daughter back.
That was 2 years ago. Since then I have never had the voices come back that strongly, though they have come back on occasion when I
strayed. These are the foods that trigger the voices. I have not had
meat but I'm sure it is one of those as well.
Fats are the very very worst. When I over eat fats the voices literally scream at me.
There are other foods that do not trigger the voices but cause me to be sedentary and depressed
also..smoking marijuana (which I used to self medicate for years)
I am so grateful to know that I have control over my mental illness. I am able to live with my brain fully functional, with beautiful clear
thoughts. They say schizophrenia can never be cured, but I am living
proof that it can and bad food is the cause...good food is the cure.
When I follow 80/10/10 perfectly then I never ever hear a whisper in my
head, my mind is all mine :)
I am interested to know other peoples stories in dealing with mental illness, because eating bad food not only causes me to have physical
problems but mental problems which isn't talked about very much. I want
to address the mental problems caused by food.
What a powerful story.
Thank you for being so honest about your struggle with mental illness. I know that anyone who reads this will be moved. You may never know how many people you will have helped with your candor, but I am sure they are there.
Warm wishes for your continued health and happiness.
I was also told I would be on meds for the rest of my life.
HA! I'm totally med and supplement free and I am thriving. I am glad you were able to prove the doctors wrong as well!! Yay for us!
Yoga and meditation are a big part of my life now as well, but I wouldn't be able to do either of those without proper eating.
Wow! I am so thankful that you shared all of that, along with everyone else. I am sorry you had to go through that at all, however. :/
The paranoia associated with my OCD is the worst for me to handle, because I am convinced everyone around me is "the enemy." I do not act on this, but the thoughts are constant and painful to hide 24/7. Did this go away like the checking did, as well? I would love that...it would really improve my relationships with others, especially.
The checking has actually decreased for me already! :) It might be that the anxiety is less in general due to a simpler diet, but perhaps it is much more than that.
Oh wow, thank you! :) Now the word addy makes sense. *headdesks* Really, I need to get rid of this headache.
Are you sure you won't need it in the future? But I would love a copy!
Wow, a book helped you this much? That's miraculous.
I also have a few scars from self mutilation and my right leg is entirely scar tissue from a hot water incident when I was a baby..(obviously not done by me). I really don't worry about my scars anymore since I feel so beautiful inside :)
I also haven't had any urges to self injure since healing my mind.
I am so glad you are open to sharing Aeri!
It sounds like you are healing very well, inside and outside :)
I think it is very hard for others to understand self mutilation. I dated a guy once who was covered in razor scars from self mutilation that he had done to himself in high school, even though he had stopped and hadn't hurt himself in years he was still very self conscious. He refused to wear short sleeve shirts or shorts even in the summer because he would always get questioned and wasn't sure how to tell people the truth. Luckily all my self mutilations scars are small and not really noticeable, but I can see how it would be hard dealing with other peoples questions. Especially if you are overcoming OCD.
Tonya Kay has some videos on youtube about how raw food helped her get over her bipolar disorder, although I don't think she's 811. They're very inspiring though!
I have had ongoing issues with mild depression most of my life (basically dysthymia since childhood) and have had a few episodes of major depression. I also experienced SAD symptoms in the winter since I've lived in the Pacific NW, which made it worse, but once I started realizing how much it was affecting me, I started being more careful about it and have done various things like suntanning and vitamin D supplements which seem to help quite a bit, although not totally alleviate it. I was a regular cooked-food vegan for many years and never had any mood alterations either (in fact, I think my mood got worse during that time, although it's hard to pin it on a specific thing).
The first time I tried raw was about 3 years ago right before Christmas. I had been in a deep dark place for over a year (not actively suicidal, I mean just not being able to feel at all, just not giving a shit about anything or anyone or even myself.) After about 2-3 weeks raw it just went away and although there have been ups and downs, it has never gotten that bad again. (I was eating fairly high fat and under-caloried and of course, started binging on SAD foods and it's been a struggle to get back to 100% , but I'm getting there.) I've seen the mood enhancement effect with 811 after just a few days too. I've never tried medication for depression and never wanted to, but I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to know that there is SOMETHING, and even better, something NATURAL, that makes my brain work in a healthy, functioning way. (Not to mention clear skin, weight loss, etc etc...) The best way I can describe this is that I experienced a MIRACLE, and that is not a term I use lightly. It was a revelation that I am not doomed to being depressed forever, and that knowledge is enough to keep it from ever consuming me again.
My own experiences with a raw diet and depression are enough to convince me that this is the best way to eat, period. I can crave the unhealthy stuff but deep down I know the 811 style diet is the way to go for optimum physical and mental health.
I'm convinced a lot of the problems we see with mental health today are caused by diet. My bf and I (jokingly) talk about opening up a mental health clinic and just feeding people fruit. We're convinced it would be a huge success, because so many acquaintances we know with these sorts of issues admit to not eating fruits and veggies at all or barely ever. A malnourished brain can't make happy chemicals!