30 Bananas a Day!

I'm not with a vegan and it really bothers me. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now and I recently turned vegan, Well high carb raw vegan because of my celiac/Crohn's disease. I now realize how important it is to be vegan. Veganism is great for health and a great benefit to the world. I've always been an animal lover ever sense I was born and could never quite figure it out. My boyfriend is a farmer and him and his partner quite frequently grow fruits and vegetables that attract many small animals. I guess I'm just a wussy but it really bothers me when he shoots and kills the birds and bunnies and squirrels because they are taking the fruits and vegetables. He will quite often even eat the quail and the bunnies that he shoots. My boyfriend on the other hand does do a lot for me, he buys my fruits & veggies for me as I am unable to work at this time. He will support me and all my efforts to try and sustain myself on this diet which I love. And he emotionally supports me as well, He's always been there for me especially when I was very sick. He shared no interest in changing his lifestyle And have told him many times how much it bothers me that he eats meat.

Have you guys experienced any of this boyfriend or girlfriend and how did you deal or cope with it? Am I just being too judgmental and maybe a bit oversensitive?

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It sounds like you two have different philosophies about an important issue. Long term if one of you doesn't change worldview it seems like there would be constant tension.
I don't think you are being judgemental, someone who says they won't change whatever it is smacks of denialism. I don't know if that's a word but I like it:)).

People want their partner to convert to their religion, so I don't think asking your boyfriend to stop being Ted Bundy is too big a hurdle.

hahaha ted bundy!!! that was great! +++1

I know it can be tough. My fiance is not vegan and when I first went vegan about 2 years ago it was very frustrating. I felt like I had awakened and wanted him to see the light, too. We fought a lot about it. Eventually I just decided to be an example and hope he would follow suit. So far he has cut back a lot on animal products, hardly eats meat but dairy is a tough one for him. His main problem is he is addicted to these foods and unwilling to give them up even if he knows it is bad for him and the animals. I have seen a lot of improvement over time though, so I'm hoping he'll continue to eat less and less of the animal stuff. 

I know it can be SO frustrating. Some people will tell you to just dump him, that you're not compatible and don't share the same values, etc. But it's probably more of an addiction issue. People can be VERY attached to certain foods. Everyone is on their own journey, all you can do is support him and encourage him, and be an example. Maybe once he sees how incredible you feel (and look) he will be inspired. That's all you can really do is lead by example...

"Everyone is on their own journey, all you can do is support him and encourage him"
This.  Especially since you have made it clear that he does help support you in your journey right now emotionally as well as financially.  You shouldn't stay with someone because of their financial help, but if you are really in love with him and he is really in love with you...you have to support each other.  Communicate with him, make sure he knows how great this lifestyle makes you feel and make him food whenever you can (even if just a snack) to show him how tasty it is too.  In the end it will be your decision whether or not you can stand this in the long-term, or if this is a big enough issue that you can't see past it if he chooses not to change.  My husband is nowhere close to the same eating habits as myself, or hell...any of the same living habits, but we love each other unconditionally and we choose to see past those things.  I'm more on the pagan, barefooting, organic food eating, raw food, obsessed with changing the world kind of person...and he loves to eat hot pockets and captain crunch, play video games, etc.  But it works.  It's up to you if you want to look past his choices and love him for everything else about him.  

I say just show him how amazing this makes you feel, respect where he is on his life-journey, and if he begins this then GREAT! If not, you have to choose what is more important: having him in your life, or him living the same lifestyle as you. :)

Hope it all works out for you whatever way you're hoping for!

@ Caitlin you are so right is more of an addiction issue for him he just wont admit it! And that's exactly how I feel! Ive awakened and am doing better and still on his end....nothing. I mean he doing better ive made him cut fat and eat way more fruit that he ever did before. I guess time will tell.

Thank you!

+1

Love this, exactly this.

@Jeanne Yeah boyfriend is doing better in the morning instead a hot pocket or a microwavable burrito he has 3-4 pounds of mixed berries from the farm he works at. Now that im reading some stories on here I guess I don't have it bad at all. Thank you~

Make him some yummy fake-meat dishes and don't tell him, just do it for a few weeks and then tell him how healthy he's been eating and if he'd like it to stay that way :)  



Ohhh boy, I've done this Once-with my ex. He became SO Furious that I "tricked" him and refused to eat at home for a week, bringing home burgers and junk. Be careful if he is a die-hard meat-eating 'good ole boy' like mine was.. Could start a huge fight. Hopefully he is more understanding though! :)

Yes, I know it could go both ways, but either way would be in the girls favor because if he 
A.   Thinks it's great and wants more of a vegan diet it's a win
or
B.  Goes ballistic and shows you how much he's into meat, it's a win - because you'll exactly how much it effects you and him.  



Also, it's none of my business really but I hope you do have more independence than what it seems from what you have written, or at least try to grow more independent, it's fine to be supportive of each other and I understand it can happens more when one is sick which is great and the way it should be, but it's pretty awful to feel stuck or helpless should things ever wrong, or if he's ever not there.  I hope there are ways for each of you to manage on your own even if things are great the way they are.       

: ) +1

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