I wouldn't say I'm a success because I still struggle sometimes, but I've definitely made a TON of progress toward recovery with this lifestyle. I don't know what behaviors that you have struggled with, but rawtil4 is the only reason that I was able to stop bingeing and purging. I was in treatment before I found this lifestyle and it only helped temporarily, but then I would just go back to it because the nutritionist had me on 1100 calorie meal plan. She told me that being vegan is "eating disordered" and pushed a high protein high fat diet on me. Freelee changed everything! Rawtil4 helped me be able to enjoy food again and feel safe feeling full, but I gained about 20 pounds. Its extremely hard being this size, but I'm healing all the crazy shit I've done to my body (restricting, bingeing, purging, enemas, laxatives, overexercise). I'm trying to give myself time to heal. I've been rawtil4 for about 8 months, but I've had a little more sodium than healthy along the way. I'm currently doing a two week banana island and then I'm transitioning from rawtil4 to completely raw with potatoes as backup. I think it will help with healing and hopefully healthy weight loss. What has been your experience if you want to share? :)
I'm glad to hear that your moving n the right direction and standing strong! So, here is my short story:
I was diagnosed with anorexia 2 years ago, and I have been in another relapse. I have dropped some weight, and though I am not technically underweight, I am underweight for my body's set-point weight. At this point I see a therapist at Sheppard Pratt one day a week because that is all I can handle as a full time student and D1 runner (Though I am not permitted to do ANY exercise right now). My body's set-point is not far off, but I have been living on an extremely low calorie vegan diet for months now. I have been getting sick a lot, I'm retaining scary amounts of water, my eyelashes are beginning to fall out, I'm growing hair in my chest and face, I haven't had a period in way over a year, and I just all around am tired. I know I need to carb up, but the water retention/fear of initial weight gain/lack of physical activity is really really throwing me off.
What you are going through is very tough. I know 'eat more' and 'carb up' are simplistic solutions to such a complex disorder and feel impossible sometimes. Man, relapses are so hard. Restricting can feel so safe. I can relate in many ways.
I think that you should be proud of yourself for seeking support and for sharing your struggles. That alone shows that you are aware of the things that you would like to change. So many people struggle day in and day out without any awareness of where they would like to be or that there is even a problem. You realize the negative effects of your ED and you know what your goal is! That is amazing!
What helped me was to focus on the long term goal as much as possible. Therapists often want to keep your mind off of your body and your weight, but I couldn't stop thinking about those things and it would cause relapses. Instead, I allowed myself to focus on smaller and healthier body goals like becoming more flexible by stretching everyday...thinking about being as fit and happy as Freelee someday, etc. So when I feel like restricting or bingeing/purging I ask myself, "Do I want to choose all of those scary physical and mental problems that my ED causes or do I want to choose a lean/fit/healthy body that might take longer, but ultimately feel amazing?"
Also, It helped me to reconnect with my body through yoga and other physical self-care activities like baths, foot massages, meditation, and walking.
I know it feels hard and scary, but every little decision that you make toward recovery is you winning and becoming stronger. You can do this!
P.s. is there any way that you have the time/access to an eating disorder group that meets weekly or monthly? Maybe an ANAD group in your area even? My ED group has been the most helpful out of everything.
Thank you guys so much for the support! And I will be hopefully meeting with others soon. I am meeting with someone once a week (because that is all I can do right now), though they wanted me for impatient (though Im not underweight).
Lots of people who aren't underweight go to inpatient. Do what feels comfortable for you! Inpatient is super pricey and they will have you on a high animal protein diet. Something to keep in mind.
I am so happy for you! Thank you so much!
I'm currently on week three of RT4 and I'm coming from a past of anorexia purge sub-type. I was diagnosed in Oct. of 2013 after dealing with it since April of that year. But I didn't really take recovery seriously until Feb. of this year after major heart complications from my "diet" or lack thereof. I have been vegan since April of this year but due to the intensive outpatient program I was in, I was forced to eat fish and yogurt on occasion (ew.) Well, during the last week of the program I relapsed after getting very sick (basically stopped going to the bathroom for over a week.) I lied on my meal sheets to get out the program faster so I could go back to veganism. But the relapse continued until three weeks ago, no purging just major calorie restriction. I could never get out of bed, work was hard (12 hr. shifts in a factory) and work outs were discouraging. But then I started watching Freelee and DR again (after my nutritionist tried to convince me the HCLF Raw/RT4 was an eating disorder.) And that's when I decided to make the change. It took a week or so to get energy back but as of wednesday I've been able to return to the gym and love it, I have soooo much energy, work is easier, a weird rash that had appeared on my stomach (the dr had no idea what it was) is totally gone, my face is clearing up, trips to the bathroom are awesome, for lack of a better word. I've also stopped restricting and have been gradually increasing my calories daily. To me, this is the way to go. We're eating food provided by nature, like we were intended to eat. And it's so much fun to try new fruits and veg. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't of come back to RT4 or HCLF veganism in general, I'd be headed back down the road of sickness. Fruit=Happiness, peace, energy, love, and mental clarity.
That's amazing, congrats! This is incredibly uplifting, thank you!
I relate so much with you Megan. So glad that you were able to find healing through veganism :) You are such an inspiration!
Healing is always good, and I'm glad you're in a better place! Thank you for your story!