30 Bananas a Day!

   I'm ashamed to admit (But won't let myself backdown) that I havn't been 100% raw, nor even fitting in with 80/10/10.   While the majority of my meals are ether all bananas, pears, mellon, or salad (sadly topped with salsa, although at least it's not a traditional dressing of some sort) I have still ocasionaly given in to vegan tacos, pancakes, or other highly processed foods as well as soda.

   I've only backpedaled to fish a few times, and never back to any other meats, and cheese only a handful of times, however even if it had all been vegan I would still feel guilt over it as I know from experience that when I give in to these foods I feel like sh** and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.  

  The reason I'm starting this progress report is I've gained more knowledge on why we crave certain things and have come up with a few reasons why I keep caving into this trap.

1. My wife and family still eat "regular" diets, and belive they are doing the right thing by keeping around vegitarian and vegan foods that mimic foods they eat on a regular basis.

I know they do this out of love and concern for me, however the fact that bad choices are always around makes it more difficult to give them up in favor of good choices. It's also hard to say no when they cook a large meal of stuff that, while vegan, is not 80/10/10 aproved.

2.  Habit and tradition.    The foods I give into ether are, or closly mimic foods I've eaten for all but the very end of the 28 years I've lived on this planet. It's stop a habit that i've participated in for the all my life, especualy when everyone around me is enabling me.

3. I've come to realize that while my cravings are also caused due to my past depression and extream bullying during high school. Essentualy like many with emotional issues I began to associate food with comfort and love and I never realized that I was still using food as a means to fofill those emotional needs (along with video games but that's another issue).

   Due to these realizations, and another backpedal into pancakes which, along with a day at work which was exceptionaly labor intensive, left me so sore that I bairly want to move.

I will repeat a saying that I'm sure many have said here time and time again.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I've got a full case of bananas that have just gotten spots.

I've got supplementary fruits in the way of watermelon and pears.

I'm not turning back.

I'm not backpedaling anymore.

   Starting tomarrow it's only going to be fruits untill I can safely say I don't crave soda, and processed food, at which point I will add in greens.  I'm going to take shirtless "Progress photoes" to motivate myself, and ether tomarrow, or on one of my upcoming days off I'm going to go out and get a tattoo to act as a constant reminder of my desire to finaly acheave real health.

    I want to be able to run down the street without feeling like I killed myself, and above all else I want to be able to look at my life and see somthing other then a lazy putz who never acomplished sh**. 

This post may have come off as agressive, and thats becouse I feel like I need to be agressive with myself right now or else I won't progress. I also feel the need to write it down, to give it some permanancy as well as witnesses so that I can't back down.

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Here is my starting point, which is still better then I was before starting to eat better.

I had a heart attack at the age of 20, was battling depression, constantly felt sore and was suffering from near weekly headaches, and I've had 3 near dibilitating migranes in my life.  Since my heartattack I've gained 3 pounds a year. At my biggest I was 245 lbs, and I knew it would only get worse, with a real expectation to die by the age of 55.  I've seen everyone around me getting worse and worse with no hope, so I stumbled apon durianrider and I've been eating healthier and healthier.

I've already lost 15 lbs and I know now that I'm not letting myself back down that I'll hit 180, or mabie even lighter, however weight isn't important.  The energy and fitness isn't important.

It's my mood and outlook that realy matters. Eating this way, i now fully believe that i will live till I'm 90 or longer, and I'm starting to feel good about myself, and I hope to feel even better about myself as time goes on.

 You can do this!! :D 

Thanks for the confidence.   I'm very hopeful, and I appreciate the support.

I'm sure it wont be long before you're making wonderful progress and be even more motivated :)  

I had a surprise moment this morning as I discovered my weight is down to 215 lbs, at first I believed it must be a mistake as I still have grabbable belly flab, so I went to the other bathroom and checked myself on the other scale, and low and behold, 215.    This was a rather startling revelation in a good way.     On top of this today I nearly had a relapse into rice, but once I realized what I was doing it was very easy to turn away from. So let's say I'm feeling very proud of myself.

Congrats! keep it up, the first part of losing weight is quite exciting because it happens quickly :)  
You're awesome and should feel proud, go you.  

We're here with you brother. I'll hold you accountable if you will :)

Lol, thanks, I'll surely be holding myself accountable.

Thanks for sharing! I find it really helpful when people share where they are really at, even if that means that they are struggling, because I don't do this perfectly either (I'm sure many of us don't) and it reminds me that little setbacks or ruts are okay as long as we keep moving forward. I know you can do it. I can too!

Thank you for the support, I realy apriciate all the support I'm getting.

You go Brian James!!!  I am rooting for you brother!!! You can do this.  We all have your back.

I've beaten out my old record of 33 bananas in one day, by eating 40 bananas over the course of a day.

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