30 Bananas a Day!

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone else out there has a significant other that is not a vegan? I got into this lifestyle about a year and a half ago. I was a meat eater when I met my wife but once I finally educated myself on the ethical issues and health issues with eating animals I decided to stop cold turkey. I told my wife it was just an experiment and that I was going to try it for 2 weeks even though I knew it was for good. She tried it with me but after a few weeks she decided she wanted to go back to eating the way she was before. I don't want to be that person who is judgmental or someone that is pushing their beliefs on someone else but I struggle many times when I see her eating animals or buying leather products. I hope that I can be that sense of inspiration and it's my hope she will see the light and become vegan but I don't know if that will happen. I love her so much but I find myself banging my head against the wall wishing she would understand my point of view.


I was wondering if anyone has experience with this and has any advice. Thanks.

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I am kind of in a similar situation.  It's difficult and can be tricky to manage, but you have to decide where you stand before you can decide what you want to do.  Much as I feel passionate about staying vegan myself, I have decided to try my best to be the example in my family without being too pushy about it. I do understand why people come on stronger than that, and respect that, but it would just make everyone around here miserable and I don't think it would be very effective.  So I live in a family with two vegans and two or more non vegans (some of my older kids have grown and moved out, but still eat here often).  So as the mom, I do the meal prep, which makes it both easier and harder for me. I try to always start with planning a healthy vegan meal for the evening, and then I just cook some meat or ask my hubby to BBQ some meat that he likes and serve it on the side.  Other than the one plate of meat and/or cheese dish that appears somewhere on the dinner table, everything else is vegan, and nobody seems to be too scared of it as long as they can have a piece of meat on their plate along side of it.

A few months ago. my youngest daughter became vegan, and it has been very interesting. At first the siblings were pretty mean to her about it, but over time, she lost some weight (didn't have much to lose, but she went from feeling ok with how she looked to absolutely loving how she looks, which is always nice!). After a few months, her complexion cleared right up, and between those two changes, the siblings are now starting to express some curiosity about how she does it. Today, I must say, that not only does she look slim and with clear skin, but her skin actually glows!  

I love that she has set such a great example for the rest of the family.  Now the siblings say, oh yeah, but you live with mom, so you have access to all that good food.

My how the comments do change!

It helps to remind yourself that once upon a time, you weren't vegan either, and you might not have responded well to someone with an aggressive message despite the fact that they might be right.

Thanks for the response! I think I am starting to deal with it a bit better even though I do go through periods of being an angry vegan lol. I just know that down the line when we have kids, if my wife is going to be feeding my child animal products I might have a really tough time with that. But it looks like you are going through the same thing and are dealing with it pretty well.

I don't know if your wife would be open to this or not, but what about getting her a couple of really great vegan cookbooks.  You could assure her that you do not in any way expect her to make vegan food exclusively because of those, just that this might give her some great ideas for the vegetable side dishes. After all, nobody appreciates those veggies as much as vegans do, lol!!

I would try to stick to books with great colorful photos.  It's up to her what she makes along with any of those recipes, and its up to you whether you want to eat it.  But it might put you on the same page at least a little bit.  

But if you think she might not receive that well, just buy one for yourself - because you are interested in experimenting with some new ideas on your own, in your free time. Try cooking a couple of things. Either it will come out delicious, in which case, she might become interested.  Or it might come out awful, which begs the question of whether the recipe was bad, or the cook. If you can laugh at your bad cooking (if that happens), she just might step up to show you how it is done. And that could really work to your advantage!

Good luck!

Speaking from experience I will tell you what you might not want to hear: you may reach a point where you need to walk away, and I hope you have the courage to do so if necessary.

I have similar problem with my mother. She don't wanna change. I have to accept that and put my efforts into ppl that do. Does it make me love her less? Yes. Of course. But I have duty to her which I feel in my heart. So I give her all she is due. No more no less. It don't bother me when she eats meat. I have a mother who would rather die than change. It is reality. It is not very surprising or uncommon also. So why be upset by it? Even my pap who I love so much don't wanna go all the way vegan. Im prepared to see him die of heart attack soon. Instead of being sad or angry at him I spend more time with him now. You have to accept reality and do everything you can. No more no less. Also I am only 20 so don't take my word on any of these deep matters lol

Sure, you guys can still live a lovely life together. I think it would be really AWESOME, you guys make a youtube video like meat eater vs plant eater and do racing and exercises who is stronger and has beast endurance. Maybe later alligator she may have different opinions of it, and may become vegan. But you must understand and see 'her' point of views and understand her beliefs not just yours. 

If that wouldn't work, just live with it. For me whoever is eating meat, I really don't give a damn. Though having sex with a meat girl, quiet stinks. If you know what I'm talking about, don't want to break forum rules. Anyway, if you don't mind about that, don't give a damn. Period. Who cares. x)



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