A little background info: I'm 23 and living with my mom, sister, and brother. All 3 are junk food, SAD eaters and I'm the only vegan in the family.
Lately my mom has noticed that I have been eating so many potatoes and bananas and keeps questioning if its even healthy and is starting to get worried. I kept eating potatoes daily because of the limited funds and until I could go to the Super Walmart since the store I work at sells minimal fruit and lots of veg which is pricier than the Super Walmart. Yesterday I bought 5 bunches of bananas and they're ripening FAST. My sister told me mom noticed I have been eating so many bananas as well lately and questions if its unhealthy. I asked my sister: "Let me ask you this, how unhealthy is it to be eating fast food every day with lots of fat, oil, grease, etc or eating fruit every day?" She couldn't answer. I don't understand how eating fruit and vegetables in vast quantities is unhealthy besides the whole pesticide thing with the potatoes..and only being able to afford conventional produce since there are barely any organic options here. I'm trying the best I can with this lifestyle and I love it, just not being able to buy organic as much as I would like with my limited funds I actually get to keep for myself. I might have to look into finding organic potatoes somewhere and just not get the Simply Perfect Russet potatoes I've been getting. So far Walmart and Winco in my area
I don't know what to do to put her mind at ease about my eating. She knows I'm vegan, low salt, low fat, but not that I'm a hclfv. If I told her, my sister would immediately tell her that "Oh, she's been watching stuff on this "FREELEE" person and her crazy diet of 30+ bananas a day." They have an issue with me looking into any info online and if it makes sense to me, but not them, then its "bad" or unhealthy", like when I looked into barefoot walking/running and it made sense to me, same with going vegan. Mom also thinks that so many carbs and sugars are bad. Any advice other than getting her to see documentaries to "go vegan"? She refuses to change her diet and see them due to a past trauma of my father's death (is not related to farming, just how he died was very bloody dealing with Burkett's Lymphoma).
Yeah, I just don't like worrying her. Sadly, they don't see an improvement in me besides my weight. I tried showing her my cronometer as well and she still thinks its unhealthy eating so many potatoes or bananas or anything.
I've never been in the Whole Foods here. Each time I ask my mom if she can drive me there (or Sprouts), she forgets or is in too much pain because of her medical condition. I don't have a car, let alone a license either or a bike which sucks. My sister is working on her license and my brother cannot drive either. There is a Whole Foods, a Sprouts Farmers Market, not sure if Safeway sells organic potatoes, and there is a farmer's market every weekend. I still have a second 10 lb bag of potatoes and half is almost gone. Going to take a break with potatoes. Since going grocery shopping, I can make my chili and rice and it'll last about a week.
The problem is finances for lessons and whatnot. The reason it took so long is due to the fact that getting lessons for triplets is expensive lol. My mom also couldn't teach us much due to her medical condition, and it worsened over the years. My brother and sister both took the test, but ended up getting the permit. You have to take the driving portion to get the license as well. Oh duh x.x I'm an idiot, I keep forgetting there is a bus stop nearby, the sign is totally hidden because of a huge tree lol..since we moved, the last place we were at had a bus line close by, but the area I'm in now, its a tad weird. Sort of hard seeing some of the bus stops. Need to see if this bus line near my house will get me there. Thanks again Sam.
You're thinking about this upside down.
The more you love someone, the MORE YOU WANT TO MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT HARMING THEMSELVES. If you cared about me, would you let me stick my hand into a campfire? Would you let me jump off a 5 story building? Would you let me eat rotten food? Be kind. Be gentle. Be loving. But also be an example.
Your mom's problem is what she is doing to herself...you are not the problem. Her solution is to take better care of herself so that she can live a longer, happier life, to enjoy with her family. The solution is not for you to change, the solution is for her to change.
Are you in some sort of conflict with her?
I don't bring up diet or exercise. I don't ask people questions about how they live or how they eat. When people ask me what I think of their diet, I am NEVER harsh with them, I never say a single negative thing about the toxic food they put in their body, or their drug addictions, I just say:
"Eat whatever makes you happy. For me personally, I could never train and work like I do, while eating animal products, so I eat a raw vegan diet. Some people can eat hamburgers, cakes, and cookies, and still feel awesome, 100% like they are living their potential, I am not one of those people. If you are, more power to you"
I also train REALLY hard, and I live a passionate life. I run and bike hundreds of miles, I am always on the move. People who know me, and even complete strangers see how I live, and approach me almost everyday "I could never ride my bike 100 miles, how do you do that?" "How do you have such an amazing attitude?" "I wish everyone at our company was as positive as you." "If we had 3 people who worked as hard as you, we could get a lot done here" etc
As a result, my presence makes people VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. In the breakroom at work. Out at restaurants with friends. Sitting at dinner with family members. I am constantly bombarded with comments about "OMG YOU MAKE ME FEEL TERRIBLE EATING THIS GARBAGE!" "I NEED TO WORKOUT LIKE YOU!"
Before our company thanksgiving dinner last year, this facility manager stood up, looked straight at me with my giant bown of fruit and said: YOU ARE RUINING THIS THANKSGIVING DINNER FOR EVERYONE WITH YOUR HEALTHY FOOD!
I hear comments like this every single day. They do not bother me, because I'm not the problem.
I just keep to myself, keep calm, loving and I stay positive no matter what people say, and I tell people "I feel amazing eating and living this way, maybe you should try it". When people press me for specifics, I am happy to talk to them, but I always let them initiate the conversation and direct it. The MOMENT they stop asking questions, I stop talking about the topic altogether.
Here is the thing...the only way your mom will change her lifestyle is if she gets uncomfortable and makes a decision to change. I have watched people I love die more than I should have, and I've also had a lot of people I've known straight up go vegan, not based off anything I said, but straight up based off of how strong I am, and how passionately I live my life.
Embrace the ridicule, questions, fear, and doubt...respond with love and kindness. Ultimately you can't control people, they have to decide for themselves, but if you can live a positive lifestyle, and be true to yourself and what your goals are, it will effect the people around you in significant ways more than you realize.
You know the funny thing about all the jokes and ridicule...over time a lot of people have changed because of me. And you know what...PEOPLE LOVE ME NOW. People come up to me all the time now...the same people who mocked me. ridiculed me, told me it couldn't be done...they are the ones who tell me now "I'm eating a vegan diet now and I'm trying to get my whole family eating better because of you, thank you so much" I have never been so popular in my life. And its thanks to the people who showed me over the years how to live.
Its all thanks to the people over the years WHO MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE enough to change how I live my life. I love and will forever appreciate them, even though at the time I didn't know any better.
I hope that your situation has gotten better. I wish I could do more, but we're not in the same city.
I apologize for not responding right away, I was at work and I apologize in advance about how jumbled this all is.
Oh I very much make my sister and mom uncomfortable. Mom even had me sit down and talk to me about how uncomfortable I'm making my sister about my vegan lifestyle. One reason she was uncomfortable: I wouldn't comment much on her talking about eating lots of animal products at her job and all I said was "Ok..?" At least now, she is not drinking much milkshakes lately due to weight gain (still addicted to Starbucks though) but not because of me talking about how bad it is for you, drinking them often. A few times I have mentioned stuff to mom only when she brings stuff up about animal products and certain things with dairy and she'll be like "I don't want to hear it." I'm at least glad she realized that cow's milk is FOR BABY COWS. She can't have milk anymore anyway. She's opened her eyes a little and its progress. When I talk to her or my sister about stuff like this, after getting into a conversation about it, I'm usually very calm, yet passionate and giving them info that would make sense. I think they mainly get angry at me due to me not being what they want me to be: a normal SAD eater again and I've shaken their stability with being vegan, rediscovering and changing my religious/spiritual beliefs (which I rarely ever talk about with them after an incident in January) etc.
Sadly, I have been in conflict with her for about a year. It's mostly because we have a major difference in opinions, views, beliefs, etc. She dislikes my views on anything, wants complete and utter obedience regardless of mine and my siblings ages (all 24 years old). I don't bring up diet or exercise. If they are talking to me about diet, I will chime in on what I've read and learned, but whenever I do, they (mom and sister) get annoyed and angry, even when I don't go deep into detail. I don't comment on them eating their burgers, fries, milkshakes, and whatnot. When they ask me to cook their meat for them, I tend to refuse quite often and they get angry at me. They become uncomfortable with who I am becoming and I'm pretty much a threat to their lifestyle in their eyes. Even with other people, I don't comment on what they eat. If they tell me what they are eating, I just smile and say "Ah glad you enjoyed your meal". I am influencing others though by example. If people ask about veganism, I tell them about it. Right now, one employee asks me a lot of stuff. He plans on eating healthier though more often which I'm glad, even if he doesn't go vegan. He did once comment and say "You're so weak because you're a vegan" (because I was struggling with a 50 lb bag of dog food its almost as tall as me) and I just laughed saying "I'm only weak because I don't go all out weight lifting." Didn't even take offense.
I've actually not been joked about much yet except by my brother and like 3 coworkers. Only 1 was pretty annoyed and mean about it after finding out I was vegan. My coworkers are usually quite nice and a few have only joked a tiny bit. They love the smell of my cooking, become shocked that my food is vegan. Even the new guy looked shocked and asked "you cooked that yourself??" with eyes wide lol. I'm almost 7 months being vegan. My family was against it completely at first, and thought I would only last a month, but definitely went beyond that. I am very glad though that they are eating more fruit, but not as much veg. Thank you for your response BSOMRoD. I appreciate it very much.
"I don't want to hear it."
There you go. That's always my 1st suspicion.... people don't want to hear bad things about themselves.
"They get angry at me due to me not being what they want me to be"
Now flip that around. They get angry because they refuse to be what you want THEM to be. They know they're addicted to crap. They want the addiction, but not the guilt that your presence creates.
The solution I see is, don't talk to them about diet (even if they bring it up) and keep your diet out of sight....but not your shinning light.
Sorry for not being more specific. The "I don't want to hear it" is usually aimed towards she thinking I may say something about the brutality and bloodiness of what goes on in the meat and dairy industry, but I tell her I'm not, then I say what I say and she's like "Okay, that makes sense".
I'm not expecting them to be vegan. Yes they need to eat better, but I'm not forcing it on them. They can choose what to do with the info I give them. As long as they don't try to make me eat non-vegan, then I'm fine.
I won't bring it up, can't keep my diet out of sight though when I'm living with them lol. They see me eating a 8 banana smoothie or see me buying a lot of bananas, and get on my case about it now and I'm not saying anything anymore about it.
>YOU ARE RUINING THIS THANKSGIVING DINNER FOR EVERYONE WITH YOUR HEALTHY FOOD!
Bwahahahaha, oh man that is so funny! Way to go BSA! :D
Definitely love that haha.
I very much enjoyed Forks Over Knives :) I couldn't remember if there was any animal cruelty clips in it. I will have to watch it again. I still need to buy The China Study and read it first xD Thanks Annabella.
+1! Several new members say this movie all by itself changed them from meat SAD eater to full on vegan overnight!