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My gf and I recently got engaged.  I came to the conclusion that I can not justify paying for meat for other people and that I rather support a local vegetarian/vegan restaurant.  My gf agrees with me but thinks no one will come since to them..I'm forcing them.  My question is whom is forcing whom here?  I totally understand that people look forward to food and drink at weddings but why could not for 1 day out of their lives..could people go meatless out of respect for the bride and groom?  Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do?

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I would probably not tell people that there is only vegan food. They might realize that there is no meat or not. I brought vegan cake, cookies or roast to gatherings and quite often people did not know that it was vegan until I told them.

That's a tough one to answer! I recently got married, but since my dad and mum were paying half (I paid the other half with the wedding gift money) for the banquet, with their friends coming as well, it was the typical Chinese restaurant banquet with all sorts of meat included. My husband is not vegan, but he would have been fine with vegan food, and he was wondering whether we would get to have it or not. But the food choices came down to my parents. Some people say that weddings are to honour the parents, and for your friends, not simply for yourself. 

However, I had a vegan meal for myself. I also ordered a vegan wedding cake. I made sure that at the lunch (which was just after the ceremony), that there was vegan stuff for me and others to eat too (I know that at least one other person who came to my wedding is vegan). The food at the lunch was a combination of catered and other people helping to make it. So it was a mix of things. I would have loved to have everything vegan, but for me, it wasn't worth the conflict. Even if I had fought for it, it would have just left a bad experience in the wedding planning. I was grateful enough that I was able to have some vegan food at the lunch, and to have my own meal vegan at the restaurant. 

Perhaps if your parents are willing, and you and your fiance don't mind covering the cost of the food, you can have more control. I know that if my parents were okay with my wedding food being all vegan, I would have gone for it, regardless of what others might think. And it would have been tasty stuff :)

If they are your friends, and the food is delicious, there should be nothing to complain about. If your friends know that you're vegan, they might already know that there may not be meat at the wedding. You don't have to tell people there's "only vegan food"...it's not the most flattering way to put it. But in order to make up for there not being meat, the food's got to be impressive if you want to avoid potential "bitterness" of the guests. 

This is my attitude completely.  They could go to McDonalds before and after the wedding for their meat kick.  If I'm going to pay for it, then they should be quiet and enjoy food that they probably never had before and may end up liking.  

Serve spagetti or lasagna with marinara and garlic bread using butter replacement. No one will even notice. The vegan/meatless part really doesn't even need to be brought up at all or even mentioned.

+1 to not even telling those who come that it is vegan food.

Can't go wrong with Vegan indian food.. curry, rice, vegan samosa dumplings.

And Japanese food.. Vegan sushi.. buckwheat soba noodles.

Miso soup.. lots of rice & stir-fry vegetables.. teriyaki and soy sauces.

All this stuff keeps well in banquet-style hot serving dishes..

Chips and salsa perhaps.. 

Maybe some thick vegan soups, potato soups, and bead-bowls to serve them in.

People love breadbowls!

I would avoid any visible tofu options.. it might trigger some unhappy responses.

Although not the healthiest option, perhaps some vegan avocado chocolate pudding.

People love chocolate pudding too!   : )  

Most importantly:  Fresh fruit!!  Fruit salads!  And regular salads, of course. Just make sure to supply croutons and fresh olives,  bell peppers and radishes, broccoli, red cabbage..  People like color!!  Wow them so much that they don't ask "where's the grilled chicken" or "no cheese?"

If done correctly, no one will ever catch on that it is indeed vegan food.

Haha I realize you didn't ask for food suggestions.. I just couldn't help myself.

And now I'm super hungry!  I wish I had all of these things, right now LOL.

Congratulations, btw.  And good luck!

Personally, i think that I would want people there to see my wedding and not be coming for the food....i must be silly though. It is YOUR wedding. do what YOU believe!

Thanks for the suggestions.  I told my side today about the engagement and going by my fiances parents tomorrow.  We plan to have a small wedding of maybe 40-50 people.  Not sure if any or many of the local vegan can take even this on or if we need to get a hall and have it catered.  We want to do the wedding in October before our huge trip to Australia November.

First off, congrats on your upcoming nuptials.  Much joy to you both.  

Ditto the other opinions to keep things quiet, no need to advertise and let folks prejudices kick in. 

Search for a vegan caterer/chef who's worked big crowds before, have him/her create a tasting menu for your approval, and ensure that the food will be delicious, beautiful, and plentiful.  That's all your guests could ask for regardless of ingredients.  

I also had a meatless wedding.  I fought hard with my parents over it, but in the end, everyone loved the food.  

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