I'm trying really hard not to be a victim...but I could really use some support. I'm starting to lose faith. Every day I am faced with adversity. I am home from school for most of the summer. My mother (whom I love and is a dear in almost every other regard) is constantly judging my meals and commenting on my growing size. "If this diet is so healthy why do you keep gaining weight?" and "Denali, every pound you put on past what you are now is unhealthy and hard on your body." I know she means well, but it still really hurts. I try to have faith a be positive, but unlike every other struggle I have been able to overcome in my life, I can't seem to stay positive with weight. It has started to take it's toll. I have always been an active person. I love the outdoors: backpacking, hiking, biking, swimming, rock-climbing, etc.... and I people have often been surprised that the short plump girl is so agile. However, lately I feel physically crippled by the 30 pounds I have put on since HCV. I feel energetic, but my mass feels difficult to move. I still manage to get out on a 45 min bike ride 3-4 times a week as well as 20 mins of bodyweight/strength twice weekly. I eat between 2500-4000 fruit and starch cals daily. I feel like a slim healthy vibrant person trapped in a ever growing and crippling prison. Any help/related testimonials would be amazing.
Lots of love,
I don't know what to say besides I am so sorry she is not giving unconditional motherly love!!! She simply does not the understand long-term results of this lifestyle. Maybe you could share testimonials with HER.
Additionally, Denali, you do not even look like a big girl!! That is the saddest part. You look so healthy! Your May photos are recent, correct? You're beautiful, I promise!
I have tried to show her Freelee and Shasha and others but she just thinks that they are lying (that they don't eat as much as they do) or exercising more or that because they were slimmer than I was before I started this journey-she has all sorts of reasons.
And no those my pictures are just some of my favorite. Many of them were taken before my bouts with bulimia and depression (130ish). However the adventure ones where taken about a year ago when I was at my pre HCV weight (155ish) Most of them remind me of my best times- positive begets positivity right? I should take some more recent ones now (175ish) to show my true journey.
I rarely eat that much (4000) but I don't count calories. I just judge roughly by portion size and satiation. I eat a bit less than freelee I think. Idk. I hardly ever feel like I am stuffing myself though. I really want to believe that "as much as you desire" really means just that. Logically dietary thermogenesis makes sense to me...but still.
Yes I would love to be your blubber buddy (pun intended ;). It would be nice to talk to someone like me. It's easy to feel alone on this lifestyle I think, even with daily inspiration from freelee and others. Lets be friends :D
lena and denali i am in the same situation as well! i would love to talk to y'all as well and be a blubber buddy if y'all would have me haha
I come from a bulimic/anorexic/depression type past. I began to recover when my body was failing me but did so eating the every day standard american diet and gained 30+ pounds. HOWEVER I truly believe that whether I followed 80/10/10, SAD or any other form of diet that I would have gained this weight as my body had some much needed healing to do. You come from a history of abusing your body (intentionally or not) and now it's like, THANK YOU! It will hold on to water (which can hurt and cause joints and muscles to ache). It will hold on to this weight for as long as it needs to heal. For me, I gained the 30+lbs over the course of a year and now it has stopped. I did not enjoy any process of it at all but now I am thankful. I have a life again. I'm no longer depressed, my hair is growing again, my skin glows and my digestion is back on track (most of the time) and my hormone levels are back where they need to be. I wish your family was more supportive...so hang in there. There will be light at the end of the dark tunnel. :)
*Also I don't know how severe your bulimia and depression were but sometimes the pain you feel when working out during recovery is your body telling you to take it down a notch. I had to only walk for the whole year of recovery and I now have the energy to work out more intensely and it doesn't bother me. Listen to your body.
Thank you so Much Andi! It's relieving to hear about someone who has gone through what I am and come out into the sunlight shining. I have noticed that biking every other day does feel better than the amount I had been doing. Buddy system?
I would track my intake with cronometer if I were you, it is easy to underestimate your calorie and fat intake. It is almost essential to success!
How are your other lifestyle factors?
what happens if you disregard fat?
oh no. I meant HCLF. Abbreviations confuse me at times :/ I eat 90-5-5
In addition to being HCV you may need to watch the glycemic load (GL) of the foods you eat! Read up and stay focused. Some people are sensitive and need to restrict GL.
Hi Ginger, could you go into more depth about this? I am curious about it. Why is this something to keep an eye on? :) Thank you.