30 Bananas a Day!

I've just woken up from what was beyond doubt the most disturbing nightmare I ever had in all my life:

A man (David Wolf comes to my mind) came to visit me and he brought his (female) dog with him.

She attacked my dogs (I never actually lived together with dogs in my waking life), severely injuring them. By severely, I mean really really severely: I could see the spine and the trachea of one of them through the open wound. They were all agonizing and covered in blood. They were literally between life and death. When I saw this, I yelled at both of them: 'Murderers! Murderers!' and rushed to pick some first aid stuff to try and do whatever I could to save them. Now comes the most disturbing part: my mother and my godmother both started yelling at me:

'Leave them there!', 'Forget about them!', 'why do you care about them anyway?!', 'They're worthless!', 'They only give you trouble!', 'It is better this way! Now you'll no longer have to take care of them!', and I responded:

'I can't just leave them there like that! They're dying! I must do whatever little I can to try to save them!'

And they answered me, screaming even more loudly:

'What do you want? Who do you think you are? Do you want to change/save the world? Do you really think you can change/save the world? You'll only bring suffering to those around you!'

And, while still holding some first aid stuff, I started hesitating about whether I should actually help my dogs... At this point, I woke up crying in despair. It was all so vivid and real not for a moment did I suspect it was a dream.

I am simply in need of a friend to whom I can tell this story and who can understand me, because I have none outside this place. You are the only family I have; the only true friends I have. You are everything I have. You are my strength and my only wealth. Without you, I would be nothing; nothing but a lost wanderer in life, in eternal despair and confusion, without knowing what I should do, always guilty of the way I desire to live and strive to live, which is considered unacceptable and quasi-criminal.

I sincerely don't know what to make of this... Any help would be deeply appreciated.

Thanks for existing, my sweet fruity friends!

I love you all very very deeply <3 

Daniel

 

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Daniel, I'm wondering if you'd just love some reassurance that you are well and all is well?  A feeling of safety to pervade your being?  Also, I'm hearing you express gratitude for the supportive community that you have found here, and just longing for an outpouring of support when you are feeling vulnerable?

Daniel, I don't think it is helpful to think harshly or be embarrassed about small actions, such as posting a warning on a webforum.  Don't be embarrassed, find the strength to embrace yourself on your ever-evolving path.  It appears that you are in a transformational phase of your life and there will be ups and downs, just roll with it, don't apologize for things as small as how long your messages are or that you posted an overreaction. 

It appears that you have a lot of fear inside... look at the energy you are receiving...the positive vibrations that make you feel good and be sure to give that back to yourself.  I think that will help you with your comfort level in communication.

Two words: thank you! I'm out of words. I'll keep your words within me and read them and reread them.

Though I'm not entirely sure how small a thing posting a warning in a forum is. This 'simple' warning has attracted no less than a staggering 2312 views and 82 replies. I have attracted to myself far more attention than I could ever wish or in fact could possibly handle. It now appears among the first places even in google searches. I have made thousands of people see a hideous image for perhaps no reason. I just didn't want to see what was portrayed in the image happen to anyone, so I thought I had the duty of sounding a warning. I'm still not entirely sure whether people here - including Freelee and Harley - are at risk. If you're interested, you may take a look at the discussion.

It has nothing to do with diet, by the way.

the crossing over of the hemisphers during the equinoxes always heightened your dream state 

depending on how connected you are is how much this effects you

we are closing our year in the southern hemisphere and have just started the death quarter of the wheel

ancestors, final harvasts and the end of the year is approaching in 5 weeks

your dream and its subject is very normal daniel

Oh, vegan witch, please forgive me for my ignorance and lack of intelligence, but your reply is totally incomprehensible to me. I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Could you please explain all this to me or point to somewhere where I can find an explanation. I'm sorry for taking so much of your time, but I am really interested in what you have to tell me, though I have not the means to understand it. I would deeply appreciate if you could translate it in simpler terms. Thank you.

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