I've just woken up from what was beyond doubt the most disturbing nightmare I ever had in all my life:
A man (David Wolf comes to my mind) came to visit me and he brought his (female) dog with him.
She attacked my dogs (I never actually lived together with dogs in my waking life), severely injuring them. By severely, I mean really really severely: I could see the spine and the trachea of one of them through the open wound. They were all agonizing and covered in blood. They were literally between life and death. When I saw this, I yelled at both of them: 'Murderers! Murderers!' and rushed to pick some first aid stuff to try and do whatever I could to save them. Now comes the most disturbing part: my mother and my godmother both started yelling at me:
'Leave them there!', 'Forget about them!', 'why do you care about them anyway?!', 'They're worthless!', 'They only give you trouble!', 'It is better this way! Now you'll no longer have to take care of them!', and I responded:
'I can't just leave them there like that! They're dying! I must do whatever little I can to try to save them!'
And they answered me, screaming even more loudly:
'What do you want? Who do you think you are? Do you want to change/save the world? Do you really think you can change/save the world? You'll only bring suffering to those around you!'
And, while still holding some first aid stuff, I started hesitating about whether I should actually help my dogs... At this point, I woke up crying in despair. It was all so vivid and real not for a moment did I suspect it was a dream.
I am simply in need of a friend to whom I can tell this story and who can understand me, because I have none outside this place. You are the only family I have; the only true friends I have. You are everything I have. You are my strength and my only wealth. Without you, I would be nothing; nothing but a lost wanderer in life, in eternal despair and confusion, without knowing what I should do, always guilty of the way I desire to live and strive to live, which is considered unacceptable and quasi-criminal.
I sincerely don't know what to make of this... Any help would be deeply appreciated.
Thanks for existing, my sweet fruity friends!
I love you all very very deeply <3
Sometimes dreams are meaningful, sometimes they are just emotions that spiral out into weird directions due to a lack of consciously directed thought. Sometimes multiple things get mixed together and sometimes you have a little bit of conscious reaction to what you're seeing and it alters it.
I wouldn't make too much of it, but obviously you have some emotional unease about putting forth your ideas and newfound lifestyle to other people. Probably you feel guilty for straying from their way of life (which you used to share with them), and you feel that it is sort of "against" them.
The key to remember about any dream is that every person in your dream is you. The personas do not reflect the true nature of the people they appear to be; they only represent your own thoughts and emotions.
couldn't have said it better.
Hey man. How about we analyze this dream, maybe you can gain some insight about yourself. Do you really think this man represented David wolfe? What does DW mean to you? What do dogs mean to you? Do they mean the world, as you seem to suggest? The notion of saving the world plagues the back of my mind at all times. And still I feel it IS worth it. Because the actions of saving the world are equal to those of saving myself. Eat fruit, plant the seed, move body as much as possible. Gotta be that change that you wanna see. I feel like 30BAD is a family-like community as well. Send me a message anytime you need to chat, bro. Breathe deep and spread the love on thick.
Yeah... Not sure why I still use this website.
I'm sorry, Kevin could you please clarify why are you saying this?
Was my post somehow inappropriate, or silly?
Is it bcs I had previously remarked about having had only 30 views and 1 reply so far? I'm terribly sorry. It was only a remark, not a complaint. I was just wondering whether I had titled the discussion inadequately, that's all.
I'm really sorry for my lack of intelligence and also for taking your time. Thank you.
Sounds like this was a very important dream. I have heard the theory that everyone in your dream represents you, but I rather disagree with it. Having said that, tho, I'm not sure anyone can tell you what the dream means, because we don't have enough information about what is going on in your life. Do your mother and godmother disapprove of your lifestyle? Are you feeling overwhelmed about some aspect of your life? About world events? I would encourage you to think about what has been going on in your life lately and try to make your own interpretation. And you should take Mingusite and Raini up on their offers to chat (if you haven't already). Something so disturbing should not be brushed aside.
Hope you are feeling better! Thanks for sharing. And shame on Kevin if he was criticizing this post. He's free to not read it. There's no need for nasty comments -- if it was a nasty comment. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt! :)
Oh, Amelia, thank you so much for caring so deeply about me. I'm truly moved by the kindness of your words. It is deeply moving to see how much people in here care for each other and how many people consider myself as a special person. You're all also very special to me. I love and care deeply for all of you.
My mother has begun to accept my lifestyle. My godmother used to ask me whether I had already gone back to cooked foods every time I talked to her on the phone, which i found rather disturbing, but last time she didn't even mention it, so perhaps she is starting to get at least neutral towards it.
I think it is probably the state of the world and the amount of suffering there is around us that most disturbs me. I'm also saddened by the fact that people who I love so much and keep in such a special place within me should be hurting my friends - my godmother is an inflexible meat-eater and my mother does not eat dead corpses but eats large quantities of coagulated mammary secretions.
And I am in no way bothered or offended by Kevin's comment. I have seen that he's an animal rights activist so I'm sure he must be a wonderful person. Anyone who devotes his own life to fighting for the freedom of my friends has already owned a very high position in my regards. I am just wondering what exactly he meant, bcs it was not entirely clear to me.
As a matter of fact, what most bothers me right now is a huge idiocy I have recently committed. I have made a completely foolish warning bcs of a picture I saw which disturbed me a lot. I now see that that picture was in no way representative and this was a stupid thing to warn about. I have learned not to act impulsively and to think twice and consult people before posting warnings. I know the damage I have caused cannot be reverted, which makes me very ashamed and embarrassed. But on the other hand, I have learned with my mistake.
I'm sorry if this reply was too long. Thanks a lot for offering me your lovely words. I feel like your arms are wrapped around me to offer me comfort. I cannot thank you enough, my dear friend : )
Hey, don't feel bad about your post! It may have had some scary pictures, and it may have been on impulse... but it was nothing but a topic on a forum. It would be the same as seeing something scary on the news and running out to warn your family, only to find that it's not as scary as you originally thought. You only did it because you care, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! :)
Besides, your post had some really good info on squatting and offered a good discussion on it which taught me a lot. And since I didn't really have much motivation to look up the info myself, if it wasn't for that post, I might have never known all of the great benefits! So hey, it wasn't all bad. You helped me take another step towards great overall health. :)
Oh, Mingusite you actually made me laugh! Thank you so much for that!
thank you so much! <3 <3 <3 : ) : ) : )