So yesterday it was the first of May which means the start of summer break here. So after i got my certificate me and my friend got on the bus to ride home... And there i saw the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life, im 17 and sure i have seen plenty of pretty and ''hot'' girls. You know every guy my age wants to sleep with Megan Fox or whoever. I dont really find her attractive.
I was sitting behind her and she turned her head back for something and i fell in love... I said to my friend OMFG nevermind that i said i will never get married. My friend was like WTF happened to you? I said look at her, shes the most beautiful girl i have ever seen and my friend said really? Want me to get her number? I said no no man dont do that. Then my friend said well you decide, but i can get her nubmer if you want me to. But im way too shy... So it was our stop. We got off the bus and as soon as the bus doors closed i wanted to kill myself, i felt so bad. I told my friend that if you could find out who she was or what her number is i will buy you any wheels you want for your car ''My friend is a HUGE car enthusiast''. And he was like... how am i supposed to do that?
The girl was on the bus before we got on so i suppose she was from some other school since she was dressed very nicely, hair done and all that. I plan on finding her one way or another though. I dont want anyone else... im really sad right now. I haven't been eating or drinking for 2 days, there is not a single food that would give me cravings or appetite. My bananas and apricots are rotting away. I cant stop thinking about her, i cant sleep, cant be at home without going crazy, i sometimes even cry. Yesterday i went out at 11PM and sat on a bench near the sea for 2 hours. There are butterflys in my stomach and i feel like trash. Im literally going crazy right now. I know there is no way you could help me but i just felt i had to let this out, i cant even ask for help because i know you would say just forget about her but i cant. Its her or nobody. She was so cute, little yellow dress and converse sneakers.
Yes you think im crazy... maybe i am... for her.
Replies are closed for this discussion.
Observe the feeling inside you when you think of her:
Is it a feeling of loving kindness towards her? Do you just embrace her wishing her all the best? If she would be more happy with another guy or as a single, could you appreciate it and really say "yes" to her to go the way which is really good for her? Can you allow her to be free (and not make her responsible for your happiness)?
OR do you want to own her and it doesn't matter to you what she wants?
I promise you: If you are able to transform that feeling inside you into true love (loving kindness toward her; not wanting to have her for you), all your pain will vanish and you'll get much more than you 've ever asked for.
Loving is never ever wrong (you won't lose anything! you'll only win!) if it's an embracing love, which lets her be free. Please, look into your heart, what you really feel towards her. Try to love her, not to attach to her. This makes an enormous difference.
And if you ever meet her again and you manage to also feel this loving kindness towards her (not so much attachment), you won't be afraid any more to talk to her, because than she's free. And if she decides that she's more happy without you being in her life, it's a good decision of her.
If you try, what I'm talking about here, you'll begin to understand what I mean.
Falling in love with someone is such a chance in life...... :)
(PS.: If you want to you can always add me as a friend here and send me messages.)
No i dont want to ''own'' her. I just want to make her the happiest girl in the universe.
Do you really think you could make her happy? Perhaps she does not want you to even try (because you are a stranger to her).
You have a problem at the moment, but although we are trying, we cannot really make you happy again. So, this is not so easy.
In life, you can give most to the people you love, when you are also caring for yourself. When I am loving myself, I can love others more easily. When I am happy, I smile to others a lot more and people respond to that...
So although I'm not sure you have chances to make her "the happiest girl in the universe" the only way would be to first become the happiest guy in the universe yourself.
Advice: the best way to do so is taking time to address loving kindness to yourself; embrace yourself ("metta-meditation").
You'll also get more attractive this way. Happy people are at least 100 times more attractive than unhappy people.
It should not be impossible to find her in your town, she is probably going to school at this time, carb up wisely and go talk to the bus drivers, locate the schools around and find her. Maybe you could make a drawing of her and show this to ppl there so they can maybe help you to find her. Make sure to carb up fully (little by little, use common sense: follow what Ednshell says), exercise and decide to feel good. None of this ''I can't love myself'' crap, if you can't love yourself why would she love you? Instead do things that make you proud of yourself, dare to communicate. Do it now, start to communicate to ppl so it won't be such a problem to do it when you see her.
Personally I totally understand this ''love at first sight'' thing and this is beautiful when this happens. Your story touched me so much, I found it really beautiful, not the letting your body starve thing, but finding such a being as this girl for you, this is beautiful. Talk to her and see if this is real. What Julia and Windlord and Renee, etc. wrote above is correct, take good care of yourself, that's the first step towards taking good care of her.
Come on get healthy again and go find her!
Thanks for another bunch of answers. And no please dont say words such as ''attached'' or such. It's nothing like that. Maybe you've misunderstood me...
Anyway just took a 2 hour walk and listened to this song for 2 hours straight. lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3BvW56tjB0 Ironic since i saw her on Sunday. I dont really pay attention to lyrics whenever a song sounds good i just listen to it but this time i really got into the lyrics... for a reason. mm
OMG!!!!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!I THINK I FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!
Nevermind she has a boyfriend. :)