I have been a member of this forum for quite some time now, some of you may remember me. I had been doing the HCRV diet for one and a half years. My family has been supportive in the beginning of the diet, but about 6 months ago, they gave me hell about it. They said they have been embarrassed buying that much food, said it was too expensive etc etc.
My marriage was threatening to fall apart, my husband begged me to please eat with him again, so I turned to regular vegan food. High fat vegan food. The cravings returned, the binging returned. One night, with friends, I got drunk, they were eating meat... It was a weak moment. No excuses and long story short, I ate flesh again...and dairy... And felt bad about it at first, but then when I saw my husband was really happy about me eating his meals... I thought that was more important.
Now though, after finally opening my eyes again at animal cruelty, and facing what I have done to myself, I feel really embarrassed. I have lost 6 months of my life again and I want to get it back. I may lose my marriage (hubby said "if you ever turn to fruitarianism again, I will file for divorce") but honestly, my health is more important to me right now. I am an unhappy depressed person and when I was eating raw foods, I was so much healthier and happier.
My family won't understand but I honestly don't care. I feel so alone right now... I am afraid to talk to my family about this. On this day today, my beloved grandmother died 2 years ago. And I promised her to take good care of myself. It was around this time I turned to fruitarianism - 2 years ago for her and my sake as well. So this time I want to do it right. In first instance for me. I just hope people will know I mean it seriously this time and will just let me do my thing. I know this is the right thing to do, why can't they see it??
I hope you can forgive me and if you have any advice on how to deal with family, please do so!
Since you are german maybe check out our facebook group 80/10/10 High Carb Low Fat Deutschland :)
A lot of awesome and nice people from germany that talk about everything and support each other!
I already found some locals from my city there :)
Stay fruity! You can do it and you will !
I cannot even believe your husband would say that to you. Your health is your number one priority and it is so sad that he would give you an ultimatum like that. I feel like that statement alone is grounds for you to file for divorce. Nobody deserves an unsupportive partner. If you want to be a fruitarian, don't let anyone hold you back.
Maybe you needed this weak period to realize how important your health is. Don't feel embarrassed or bad about it. You will probably be much stronger this time because of it. Good luck!
Hm.. my best tip is to make fun of yourself and your "silly/ crazy" eating habits when your family begins to critizise you. You are one crazy person (or rather a monkey) with funny eating habits. When you "admit" this, they probably can't attack you that much any more.
Just wanted to post a quick update and thank you all for your replies. You have all helped me so much!
Anyway, we talked a bit - again - and are willing to try again. I know I love him and I am willing to give us another chance.
I have been living on fruits and vegs only these past days, and I really missed it. I think he still thinks it's just a phase again (just like he thought last time) and he talked about it with his mom. She says I always fall into "extremes". This is my own fault though, I fell into the food addiction trap for so long - eating chocolate and dairy and then saying "wow this tastes so good, I can't believe I was a vegan for so long!". Even said one time that I felt "brainwashed" when I thought about my fruitarian days. NOW though, I feel as if I was brainwashed eating chocolate and dairy. I feel so much better now that I am running on dates and bananas again, and I really don't want to go back to eating a non-fruitarian diet. I will just have to prove that I am serious and hopefully, over time, they will find peace with it again.
Thank you for the update!
Hang in there.
Look at not only what you do, but ask yourself the tough questions about "why" you do what you do. Everyone on one level or another battles compulsive eating, emotional eating, addictive behavior...and just generally unhealthy behavior. The one main thing I have gained from this community is an outline to "optimal health", and I frame everything in terms of maximizing my health, improving one day at a time.
Don't feel embarrassed. I was vegan 10+ years ago but I kind of just did it because it felt right but I didn't have a solid intellectual grounding or understanding of it and after some years I went back to a SAD diet which got progressively worse over time. Then I saw Earthlings and woke up properly about animal cruelty, and I read the China Study and Dr. McDougall and woke up about the health side of it, then I found Durianrider and woke up about the practical side of diet and how to make it work long term and not be low on energy all the time. I will never go back :) I suppose for me I can't afford the high fruit lifestyle but by being flexible over time I am converting others. Filing for divorce because someone wants to eat more fruit and vegetables is not a good reason to divorce!