30 Bananas a Day!

I fell off the wagon, down a hill, and into the grand canyon.

Yah we all fall off the wagon.  But me, I fell waayyy off.  I'm usually the type to ease in and out of things, but with the loss of my grandmother, and my job recently I am just at a loss.  I've been over sleeping, under eating, and just straight up miserable.  I haven't been exercising as much either.  Probably cause i'm so under carbed.  When i do eat, its usually junky cheap food that's laying around the house because i feel like since I'm not making money i shouldn't be spending it on tons of fruit.  Though maybe that's just an excuse because i am so miserable, and i am expressing it by destroying my body.  I know that if i got back to where i was prior to falling off the wagon, despite my recent stresses and sorrows, i would feel better.  Yet a part of me doesn't want to feel better.  I just want to wallow in the sickness of my mind and body.


God dammit, I need to get out of this funk.  Any advice other than carbing the fuck up, which i intend to do tomorrow after and epic trip to the grocer?

Also, my new fruit budget is about 40 a week until i finish school in May and i live on Maui (so expensive).  Can i do it?

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thank you for the words of encouragement.

oh geese, where do you live thats so cold?

Hi Sky! I'm sorry for your loss. It's difficult to get out of a rut once your in it, but you can definitely do it! It'd help a lot if you had a support system, people that will motivate you and keep you going. You could find fruit buddies online to talk to. I've learned its a lot easier to stay raw when I'm talking to other raw vegans. As for fruit, I've noticed that are quite a few grocery stores and produce stores in Maui. You could always talk to the stores and ask what they do with their overly ripe produce. They most likely throw it away so would be willing to give it to you for very cheap. You'll have to shift through what's good and what's bad, but you'll probably have a lot more fruit! Good luck :] 

it is shockingly hard to find raw vegans here…let alone high carb raw vegans. i know a couple of really popular raw vegans that live on the island, but i've yet to meet or get in contact with any of them. 

yes, i really do need to try that out! idk exactly where to start yet though. 

Yes, I believe you can.  Those losses do hurt, and it's important to experience them fully.  To heal fully, pain isn't something to "get over" but to "get through."  This can take time, and may feel like a rollercoaster sometimes.  I didn't know your gran, but if she was anything like my departed, she must've had some strength of character.  How else could they have lived so long through such trying times in our world?   I'm guessing that since you were so close, you must have shared a kinship of personality as well.  Her fortitude lives on in your, Sky. 

If the other three HI islands I've visited as any indication, there are plenty of farmers growing fruit on Maui.  Sure they charge full price at market, but ask them if you could help plant/pick/sort/pack or transport their goods in exhange not for money but produce.  I remember one vendor who had buckets full of unsaleable over (perfectly) ripe papayas he was just going to give to the pigs.  Oink Oink!

Also, as you're discovering, it's much more important to be properly carbed than raw.  Go to an Asian store and get the biggest bag of rice you can find.  It'll literally be cents on the pound, and should feed you for weeks if not months.  

Take care

you always have the best advice. thank you wind lord. C:

My condolences on the loss of your Grandmother, Sky. I recently lost my Dad and my last Grandma, both of whom I was extremely close to, so I empathize with what you're experiencing. Grieving the loss of a loved one is such a difficult thing to go through and nothing really prepares you for it. Self-care often falls to the wayside during the grieving process, so it's understandable. I found it helpful to remind myself that they would want me to eat and get out of the house. Don't be too down on yourself; grieving is tough. Just take it one day at a time. Sending positive vibes your way.

Again, sorry for Your loss Sky.  Grandmother's are precious.

However it works, I know We all meet up again.  So she's not gone from You forever.  I promise! 

I've noticed that the lighter I eat, the better I feel. (Fasting is pure joy!) So I hope that is an incentive to get back to fruit.

Love,

Sun~Rose

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