30 Bananas a Day!

How far are you willing to go in your choice of partner?

Could you see yourself with (or are you with):

A raw gourmet superfoodist?
A raw non-vegan?
A cooked vegan?
A vegetarian?
An organic meat-eater?
A SADist?
A smoker?
A recreational drug taker?
A drinker?

Do you have a limit to what you think would work for you?
To what extent do discordant food and lifestyle choices affect relationships? Any experiences you are willing to share?

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This is a very interesting and powerful question Lou.
Thanks for posting.

I will ponder and get back to you.

Give thanks,
A raw gourmet superfoodist? maybe
A raw non-vegan? maybe
A cooked vegan? not likely
A vegetarian? more not likely
An organic meat-eater? no
A SADist? don't exist in my world
A smoker? got one at home. don't need another
A recreational drug taker? don't exist in my world
A drinker? depends how less she drinks
Good question! I've been thinking about this alot lately. I think it all comes down to the person. If they smoked, drank, took drugs, and ate crap but I could see the potential for them to eventually change I'd put up with it. I mean if they're just lost like I was when I used to do that sort of thing that's okay. I've had a couple of relationships as a vegan with meat eaters who just hadn't really considered there was another way and over time almost became vegan. Everyone deserves a chance I think but ultimately if they knew how to live a healthy life and chose to ignore it I don't think we'd have anything in common anyway.

So I think I don't have a limit...well I haven't over the last 12 years as a vegan so I can't see that changing now.
ya they just don't listen do they?! i feel the same way about it, but we are the ones who domesticated them so that they don't know how to hunt anymore so i don't blame the little guy. i also think that if we JUST fed meat to our animals we would still be causing less pollution etc. than having to feed whole darn countries!
"i have learned much,firstly listen to my heart,(not other peoples words of negativity,saying leave him,he eats cooked blah blah!)and be true to myself,and now im one tough cookie,and would do anything to never hurt this beautiful man again...."

That is beautifully phrased, rawgreengoddess. Words to live by.
The smell of booze makes me nauseaus.

In any relationship spend time with the parents you will learn a lot about your partner.

Food is a important part of a relationship for most cultures.

Especially if one was raised in a European culture.

So much emotions and attachment to foods.

My wife was raised in a Italian family so food is just about everything for that culture.

When I was raised food was just food you ate and did what you needed to do so this was a bit of a challenge.

I didn't understand this obsession with food.

Italians love to eat no matter if they are hungry or not.

They like to go out to eat for just about any reason or occasions.

I don't like to I find it a rip off to order a salad pay $7.00 for a salad that is not fresh or so small.

If we go out to eat for a special occasion like anniversary etc. we choose a restauraunt we both agree on eat the cooked vegan food and continue on the next day but I am very strict on what I will and will not eat.

It takes a mature couple to work through things that come up.

The key is to have respect for ones choices.

Personally could not live with a meat eater my wife has been vegeterian for a long time now over 16 years.

She feels the same way.

I see meat for what it is and personally could not kiss anyone on the lips who ate meat.

My wife use to think I was nuts but now realizes that Raw makes sense and applies it to her life as much as possible.

Don't ruin a relationship over food but also realize that you have to be honest in a relationship as far as what is best for you.

Love should be love of yourself first and then your partner you can't give what you don't have.

I look at it this way I don't want to be a burden to family etc. So I chose health and not emotional attachment eating.

In the end you can only blame yourself if you where shoving your face with pogo sticks and not your partner.

Try not to change others everyone has there part to play.
Awesome reply
Great replies! Thanks for sharing.

I agree that it is about core values (and personality of course). But I think a great personality isn't enough if the values that really matter are completely different. That's what I have realised through past experiences. Food is not the most important thing.

However, I would find it extremely hard to be with a meat-eater. Perhaps if he only ate organic meat I could tolerate it, because that's where I was for many years. It would mean he was on his way, and at least was somewhat conscious of health, environment and animal rights. I guess I would really need to see potential for change on his own accord.

But more importantly than food, I wouldn't be able to be with someone who for instance was very materialistic, and not interested in environment and sustainable living, and did not care at all about core things that are really important to me.

Then again a BBQ, beer and flatscreen TV kind of guy probably wouldn't be interested in a bicycle-loving, frugal, tree-hugging, fruit munching weirdo either! ;-)

I agree with what many of you said about being able to learn from each other and grow. The major problems happen when one person wants to change the other. I do think it is important to assess whether you could handle the other person not changing, and live in complete acceptance with that. If not there is a big potential for serious issues. Being with someone who wants you to be different than you are can not be a healthy base for a relationship. I would despise it if my partner could not accept the choices I make, and would hate to be like that to the person I was with.

Hmmm, taking the "not wanting to change the other person" approach really limits the list :-). Then again I tend to be a pretty tolerant person.

I think what it really comes down to is that the things that make you really happy have to be similar to the things that make the your partner really happy. Otherwise sharing happiness becomes difficult.
love hearing other's stories and experiences.

well i am not 100% raw at the moment though i would like to head that way. i remember how good i felt and although i have started to feel pretty good now (and even just because of living in the moment, not so much food, but that too), but i remember how good i felt eating 100% raw and exercising lots and getting good sleep, so i want to gear that way. i'm vegan and eat mostly raw, just the occasional cooked thing, like a few spoons of rice with a ginormous salad (because my family has cooked it) or a few potato chips (when no one is looking! haha) or a veggie pasty on the odd occasion. but my previous relationship was with a vegan straightedger (the same as me) and well, who knows for the future. most of my friends are vegan or vegetarian or raw, so that's the kinda circle i mix in. would love to be in a relationship and would love for it to be with someone who was definitely vegan and either raw, or high raw. i think food choices affect the individual. or rather, you can tell about a person by their food choices. i would want to be with someone who respects themselves and wants the best for themselves and their loved ones/families etc. so i would want to be with someone who had high ideals for themselves. i have only been intimate with vegetarians/vegans, and definitely see myself with a vegan, non drinker, hopefully raw fooder in the future! :)
Pauline, I totally support you on this; my circle of friends are all Vegan, Raw Vegan or Fruitarian; my partners now have to be Raw Vegan/Fruitarian, or Vegan with high % Raw/Fruit. They have to be non-smoker, drug free and alcohol free too.
when i transitioned to raw and then 811 my partner naturally flowed with me. i didnt force him he just got interested. i used to make his meat meal and make whatever i wanted for me. he went from a sad diet, smoker, drinker. to a vegertarian who eats meat once a week, it just happened. of course he still has his few beers with his friends on the weekend, but i know he will take the steps that he wants when he is ready. for me it wasnt inmportant to focus on the details of my partners life. a strong relationship can overcome any differences.
thats the way i see it. to be honest the least important thing about my partner is how he eats



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