30 Bananas a Day!

I've been hclf raw til4 vegan for a while now. Since November so about 4 months now. I thought I lost 5 pounds in the beginning but I'm the exact same weight.
Health is my life. I love it. Studying it, thinking about it, researching it. But I've developed a weird obsession. I love to read watch or know about stuff but it's harder to put it into practice. 

I have had, and continue to have to a smaller degree, a bad relationship with food. I didn't think I had an eating disorder but I guess I did. More of body dysmorphia though.  

I'm getting better at following the guidelines about calories sleep and water. But it is really hard to know when you're obsessing too much and or just trying to do it perfectly. I've been very lax with myself about eating out, decaf coffees and overt fats here and there. Not a lot.Just enough to ... I guess prove that I'm not obsessing. 
The problem is that I'm not losing any weight. I feel great now and I want everyone else to as well but I'm not being an example and I want to move on to the losing part.

Is it because Of my lack of strictness? 
I also just recently started exercising. Is that it?
I don't know what to do and looking at myself in the mirror makes me depressed sometimes when I see the cellulite and misshapen thighs....
Help. I just want to be thin already. I've never been thin in my life and I want to stop thinking about it.  

Also, I can't seem to get good recipes.. or make them well. And I'm left with bland dinners that make me want to quit.

Any advice?

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I'm not on birth control and haven't used that many stimulants in the past. Only coffee and tea on occasion. My school has buildings for each subject so I get to walk outside for 4 minutes every 1.5 hours plus lunch and we have a break so I'm walking as much as I can during school. 

My sodium level is probably higher than it needs to be but it is extremely difficult to eat low sodium. I buy low sodium sauces now but I always feel like I'm retaining water... If I drink more than 4 litres of water a day (that's where I am at now) will it help flush out the extra salt and water retention you think?

First of all, four months is not a long time. Many people don't see true healing until they've stuck with this lifestyle for one or two years. I think that until your body seems to be fully healed and adjusted, it's best to follow the guidelines very closely. You will speed up your results. What really seems to need healing at this time, however, is your mind. You may not be willing to do this, and I understand that, but here is my suggestion. Take another day or two to research and put together a fasting plan. Plan to eat VERY clean without added salts or fats, and even include some fully raw days. Determine the amount of time you want to fast. I recommend at least one week, but more time will be more beneficial. This is not a fast as in no food, just no salt/fat/stimulants (coffee) etc. Decide whether you will include grains or just stick to root vegetables for dinner. Once you have these technicalities solidified, then comes the part I know you won't like but just hear me out.

Stop researching and discontinue ALL Internet use during your fast. If your in school, use Internet for ONLY WHAT IS REQUIRED. Use no online forums or research tools and absolutely do not us any form of social media. This may seem destructive but it forces people to re-enter a reality where they must see and interact with themselves and those around them in a true state. It will minimize ones false perceptions of beauty that subconsciously form the more we view people's selective and filtered profiles. When I did this I gave up Internet and texting for a month and it forced me to call people, interact face to face, and let go of unattainable body images that have been fed toe for years through online propaganda. I used the time to re-connect on a deeper level to people I hadn't actually spoken to in awhile. It took me away fr my obsessions with health and other people stories of success and failure and let me fly solo and make my own story.

I don't believe it's LIKELY that you will want to try this but I guarantee it will teach you a lot about yourself if you do.

Either way, I sincerely wish you the best health and true joy!

You're so right. So right. Thank you so much. I will try that. I just need to get some stuff in order first. You, and all the people who have replied, have, and are helping me realize so much about myself already. 

Thank you again. It's just what I needed to hear.

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