So I'm 17 and live at home, under my parents roof. When I became vegan, this was a BIG deal to them and was extremely hard for them to accept. They now have accepted it as part of who I am, and have come to accept my healthy diet. Now that I am trasitioning to a raw till 4 diet, I know that I will need to tell them soon, but I'm unsure of how. They were so against me becoming vegan, I just know that this will shock them even more. I have copies of Freelee's book, 80/10/10 and The China Study on hand to show them the research but I really just need some help on how I can talk to them about it. Thank you!!
Rather than try to beat them over the head with scientific research that they can counter by pointing to psuedoscience and wive's tales about "but grandma always said you need meat for protein", be an EXAMPLE.
-Do well in school
-Do well in sports
-Be true to your word
-Volunteer in your community at a summer camp, animal hospital, etc
-Be active in school clubs, activities, participate
-Talk about your future plans
-Take a part time job and work hard
-Enroll in some college classes
Then tell them every chance you get...'CHANGING MY DIET HAS HELPED ME DO THESE THINGS AND BECOME A BETTER PERSON".
If they are caring, reasonable, responsible people, they will then go out of their way to support your diet. If they are not good parents, then you still need to do these things, because sooner rather than later, you want to be on your own, so you can move forward in life without depending on them for anything.
TLDR version: In general, kids who smoke dope, play video games all day, isolate themselves and do poorly in school, have a much harder time getting their parents to trust them, than kids who show themselves to be responsible, hard working and future thinking.
Even though I do really good at school (I go to the best school in my country(Latvia)), sports and had never broken the law, my mum was and is against me being vegan, it has been 4 months sice I became vegan and she always coments about hove many shit I eat, yeah, that's right "shit", which is fruits, starches and veggies in her understanding. She's constantly undercarbed, well my whole family is, so she is always in a bad mood. I'm actually too scared to say anything critical about her eating habbits, altough I could spend days doing that. At the start I really felt like she hates me, but in that period Durianders videos helped me a lot, also his quotes about not being a victim and standing for what you belive in, which can actualy help any vegan in their everyday life.
So now I just do what I do and don't take personaly what she says, altough she calls me fat all the time(I had eating disorder past, so my body is healing it self), my BMI is normal and I had never been overweight, but OK. I think that she thought that I was perfect when I was anorexic, but ok. I really feel like my mum is trying to meke everyone anorexic, cuts food quantities all the time and criticizes everybodys shape and what's on their plate. Now I understand that we have absolutely different views on ABSOLUTELY everything and I have no interest in talking to her.
I sometimes scares me that I think that my mum is a tiran and I want to get out form this home and move to a different country and never see her again. I have a 2 friend both vegans and they have similar situations with their faimlies. Maybe it;s becouse we live in a northen country and everybody is so hucked on dairy and meet and are constantly undercarbed.
Yeah, just try not to talk about it then, but make sure you take care of yourself and do what you need to do. I mean, are they watching everything you eat?
Don't try to get their approval. Instead take the above steps, as well as getting a job, and planning for the future. IF your mother is as unloving as you say, then you need to GET REAL WORLD SKILLS AND GET READY TO BECOME AN INDEPENDENT ADULT, as soon as possible. In the mean time, don't become overly worried about "converting" anyone if they are not open to it, just focus on what you need to do.
Your mom should never be calling you fat, that is not acceptable.
I think the biggest problem is psychological. People don't want to feel bad about eating meat, so they say it's important.
So that's why veganism was hard for them to accept. Most people see no difference from veganism to high-fruit, 811, etc, because it was all about the meat to them.
I don't see why you need to tell your parents about this change. I never told anyone; it's all the same to them. But yeah, people will flip out if you say "RAW". So just don't, LOL
Read some of our blog posts and follow up on the scientific references:
I concur with others that you parents might like the science too. Many "older" people also like the Mcdougal program and you can sell it to them with the possible chance to reduce blood pressure, heart disease, and risk for many other disease.
Also, if you make small changes, like just quietly eat all bananas at breakfast, would they even know?
Just thought I would update you all-
So I sat down and talked to my family and explained high carb raw veganism and also about the foods I will and won't eat. All things considered, I got a pretty good reaction, I think mainly because I emphasised how much it means to me and just how passionate I am about living this lifestyle. I got the typical, you can't be an athlete on this lifestyle and interestingly enough, my dad also told me that he would like me to bulk up a bit (weird considering I'm sitting at a healthy BMI) but he also said that he was very content in knowing that I am eating enough. I also made sure to tell them about all the benefits I have personally felt so far, and I think this helped. I also talked to my mum a fair bit about it, and want to talk to her some more as, out of all my family, she is the one who is the least likely to understand. This is just because she likes to assume that she is very intelligent and 'knows it all', when in reality no one does. She also has a hard time understanding things that are outside her comfort zone, so I know understanding my choice to live this way will be difficult for her. I also know that when she understands, her and my dad will be the most supportive parents they can. So thank you all for all the help and support and I know that, although its a small step, I'm moving towards the life I really want to live.
youre welcome. best of luck.
this is extremely positive and great to hear! way to go raw earthling! :)
Make sure you are tracking your calories so you know you are getting enough. They might be worried you will be malnourished. Prove to them that you are well nourished by eating a lot!
You should treat RT4 as a guideline in that if you have some cooked food at lunch (say along with a salad) then it's not the end of the world. This will arose less suspicion and you won't be seen as being even more extreme.
Your best advertisement is that you show you are just as active or even more so compared to what you previously ate and in great health. As others have mentioned make sure as a growing teenager you eat sufficient amounts of food. I would also recommend you eat a wide variety of plant foods partly to show your meals are not as boring as they originally probably imagined.
Try to incorporate your parents in some of your meals so that you are sharing. That my require a little homework and experimentation by you to find some recipes that they also like and are whole food vegan. Sharing delicious vegan meals with them will slowly change their minds - and reduce their fears.