Okay, so here is the low-down. My daughter, Gwyn, is almost 7 and shuffled back and forth every single week between my fruity house and her dad's very SAD house. She does not do 811 at my house, but over the past year, along with my boyfriends and mines transition to 811, we have been transitioning her to a HIGH fruit/lfcv diet. Which has still proven to be very difficult because half of every week she is still eating all the meat, cheese, milk, and eggs she cares for.
We at this point are a completely vegan home, which makes me feel very happy :) I do NOT want to participate in the animal cruelty and slavery on this planet. Gwyn seems to be transitioning well to only eating a plant based diet and along with taking things out of her diet, I am teaching her why we do not eat those things at mommy's house but I still have to be sensitive to not speak badly of her father. Who, by the way, does not believe in diet affecting health at all. It has been very hard and extremely frustrating thinking about the things she eats while not in my home. Grrrrrrr!!!!
I would like my home to be COMPLETELY lfrv but I am worried about one thing. Every single week when Gwyn comes to my house she is hacking up mucus, coughing a ton, and just sounds extremely congested in her lungs. By the end of the week when she is ready to go back to her dad's house, her coughing is minimal, almost no mucus, and her breathing sounds great. My concern is this: will it be too taxing on her system to every single week go from one diet extreme to the other???
I worry about her health so much, which only becomes more complicated and heart-breaking as I see my own health continuously improving with this lifestyle. I feel very sad and it brings me to tears because I honestly just want what is best for my sweet angel but I feel so conflicted about what to do. Do I keep her on a high fruit/lfcv diet or try to make the commitment to lfrv??
Any insight would be greatly appreciated because I just don't know and need a little encouragement from this community to keep moving forward.
Its a bit like saying 'my child comes back from a smokers house and is coughing, should I keep the air a little bit smokey in our house or blast every room with fresh pristine air?'
Kids are the EASIEST to feed healthy cos they dont have all the 'fruit makes me fat, my naturopath said I cant eat fruit, fruit costs too much money, people think Im weird eating that much fruit' etc.
7 year old should take in at least 1600cals a day. Which highlights why so many FULL GROWN females struggle with eating when they try and eat like a 10 year old.
PS: I wouldnt mention dietary choices, I mention allergy to dairy etc. There is enough info on the net indicating the risks of ecoli and death amongst children.
i agree with the dairy thing...isnt dairy the most mucus causing thing? and you said she is coming home sick and full of mucus...likely dairy causing this, yeah ?
that would be a start at least! and it might weed out alot of the trash if the trash is dairy-containing..
I had the same situation with my oldest, now an adult. She would get sick at their house pretty much every week and come to my house and be well again by the end of the week. It was very difficult to accept the situation. We had many other issues as well which attributed to the difficulty, it's great that you are happy with the Dad in general.
I think the more nutrition and cleaner, healthier foods she eats the better. Her body is doing what it is supposed to by mucking out through mucus formations and coughing, it's a good sign. We did send food which helped things to some degree. Maybe start out with a few of her favorite treats that she can be really excited about and slowly load her up more and more every week.
Gosh forks over knives looks so good, I think it will help out, can you have them over for dinner to make sure they actually watch it, lol?
Perhaps suggesting that she is lactose intolerant (which of course everyone one is - so it is not lying) and get him some info on it he'll be scared into cutting dairy out at least...
Perhaps soon she will come to a point of just not liking carcass and asking for rice and veggies. Maybe suggest to him how much she LOVES certain fruits he might just start getting them in to appease her :) There is nothing wrong with telling him she gobbles down her food at your home, he'll be pleased to hear it and may try to mirror what you are doing to get the same affect.
There are ways of tricking people into things and while it may not be seen as an act of honesty you are in fact saving your daughter's life :)
Does he force her to eat animal products and cooked food? Or does he refuse to make raw or vegan food available to her? Or is she making her own choices when she is there?
Maybe you could take her to a doctor and test for food allergies. Dairy and gluten allergies seem pretty common these days. Maybe you can ask around and go to a doctor that will be likely to agree with you. Once you have something in writing from a doctor that should go a long way. If you can at least get a few of those harmful things removed from her diet, it will make it more difficult to access other bad foods. It will be harder to go out to eat, will exclude many packaged foods, will force them to find new recipes for their home-cooked meals. Maybe when they are looking for new recipes they will discover that healthier options can taste good too, and perhaps they would open up to make even more dietary changes.
Just some thoughts. I guess a potential backfire is they could have her tested and find allergies to many fruits and nuts. But I'm not really sure about that.
Another thing I would do would be to seriously get your daughter empowered in her health/diet choices. Find a fruity meal that she absolutely loves, something she can make herself and let her know how good fruit eating is for her, let her know there are a lot of people who eat this way and they are having great results, living healthy lives, tons of energy and have a ton of fun. Make more fruit = more fun crafts with her...shirts, purses, make her a smoothie cup, a lunchbag that you can keep her fruit stash for the week she's not with you...in general in addition to the things you're wanting to do for her, one of the most powerful things you can do is to give her the tools to do things for herself. To understand her health better, why she's getting mucus-filled, without villianizing anyone or anything, you can get her to latch on to this lifestyle and stick up for her health when she's with her dad...become the person she comes to talk to when she eats something and then doesn't feel too good for it, offer her compassion, lend her an ear, share your experiences in changing your diet.
She is old enough to understand and advocate for herself. She may not be able to make all her own decisions, but she has the power to influence decisions that are made for her. If you need any support please send me a message. I've been a nanny for over 10 years and I have two children of my own. I've been working on setting up a penpal/video pal, support group for vegan, raw and related journeys for kids. I understand how difficult it can be, as about a year ago we were letting our daughter go hang out with her grandma everyday and she'd take care of her for a few hours. We had to constantly tell her what she could have and then we found out she was just ignoring us and we eventually just stopped letting her go over there as much, but we had to empower her to understand her own health, and say "I can't have that, that makes my belly hurt." She's very easy to reject anything with animal products in it now, and usually asks what ingredients to foods are when offered foods. She's almost four years old, and I've just made it a theme of our days, it is something she's excited about, she loves to talk about fruit, draw fruit, look at pictures of fruit, and learn more about how people eat and how it affects health, recipes, and loves to help in the kitchen.
If your daughter has her own room, maybe you can make or buy a fruit stand for her, as well as a vegan or raw snack sack for school. Dates and other dried fruit might be a great idea. Then you can talk to her on the phone about what she ate and just be genuinely excited to hear what she has to say no matter what she eats.
I've also designed a health journal for kids to help them see the connections between their food intake and activities each day, if you're interested in that. I would eat as much lfrv as you can with her in your house. Make sure she's getting enough calories, fat and protein on lfrv and see the seed that grows in her eating this way and helping her relate to it as a healthy "lifestyle". I would hide some cooked snacks in case she has a meltdown, as it might be tough at first, but just let her know "we don't cook in this house, this is what we're going to eat," and maybe try not to do any shopping tell her you have a food budget and can't go get anything else if she wants junk. Just help her understand that she's being taken care of and she has nothing to worry about.
As for her school, I'd talk to the teacher about offering foods that aren't healthy for all kids and mention milk and dairy allergies and philosophical/spiritual dietary concerns. There should at least be some alternative option.
Make her high-calorie (this is very important, because of how humans' taste preferences work!), DELICIOUS LFRV foods...break out the recipe books, if you have to!
If SHE loves the diet, she won't need you "controlling" her food choices, and will be able to make healthy choices all on her own. Provide her with the knowledge, show her the documentaries, videos, and etc., and then give her the opportunity (lots of easy, tasty, high-calorie options...and that may mean more than just healthy whole fruits, unfortunately) to succeed on the LFRV lifestyle.
This is not a lifestyle she should be "guilted" into--I mean that, very, very seriously. Her mental health is JUST as important as her physical health, and creating a black/white, guilt-enforced lifestyle is not the answer. Good luck!
You are not the only parent so you must compromise. Try not to be so extreme. Go slow. Teach by example. Remember you were raised on SAD diet, and those comfort foods were the ones mom made you so just make her nice meals. She will then learn to miss and love your food. MOM Love.
You cant exactly call the Vegan CPS...or vegan police. You cannot sue either.
I have been reading this thread... I really think that unless you have children, you have no business in posting a reply... WHY? because you have no idea....
I say that with love!