30 Bananas a Day!

Okay, so here is the low-down. My daughter, Gwyn, is almost 7 and shuffled back and forth every single week between my fruity house and her dad's very SAD house. She does not do 811 at my house, but over the past year, along with my boyfriends and mines transition to 811, we have been transitioning her to a HIGH fruit/lfcv diet. Which has still proven to be very difficult because half of every week she is still eating all the meat, cheese, milk, and eggs she cares for.

 

We at this point are a completely vegan home, which makes me feel very happy :) I do NOT want to participate in the animal cruelty and slavery on this planet. Gwyn seems to be transitioning well to only eating a plant based diet and along with taking things out of her diet, I am teaching her why we do not eat those things at mommy's house but I still have to be sensitive to not speak badly of her father. Who, by the way, does not believe in diet affecting health at all. It has been very hard and extremely frustrating thinking about the things she eats while not in my home. Grrrrrrr!!!!

 

I would like my home to be COMPLETELY lfrv but I am worried about one thing. Every single week when Gwyn comes to my house she is hacking up mucus, coughing a ton, and just sounds extremely congested in her lungs. By the end of the week when she is ready to go back to her dad's house, her coughing is minimal, almost no mucus, and her breathing sounds great. My concern is this: will it be too taxing on her system to every single week go from one diet extreme to the other???

 

I worry about her health so much, which only becomes more complicated and heart-breaking as I see my own health continuously improving with this lifestyle. I feel very sad and it brings me to tears because I honestly just want what is best for my sweet angel but I feel so conflicted about what to do. Do I keep her on a high fruit/lfcv diet or try to make the commitment to lfrv??

 

Any insight would be greatly appreciated because I just don't know and need a little encouragement from this community to keep moving forward.

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The cleaner the diet you provide for her the more sensitive (aware) she will be to the harmful effects that other foods have on her, and if she is getting sick at her father's house and being healed of this sickness at your house I would think that her dad will eventually realize what is going on as well.

 

Going back and forth every week from a really clean and healthy diet to a SAD diet is going to be very hard on her for sure, but that's certainly not YOUR fault.   Please keep doing what you're doing.  Most kids today grow up without even knowing what a watermelon or a cucumber even tastes like!

 

I don't know anything about the situation between her you and her father, but if you two are able to talk one on one without fighting I would think that you could start having some meaningful discussions with him about this and eventually get him to make changes not only to her diet but to his as well.   Be the example. 

i'm loving this idea too, seems like a good solution!
I'm sure this way of living is difficult and confusing for your daughter. Perhaps you can send her to her dad's with some low-fat cooked vegan dishes already prepared in containers? Like rice/quiona/potatoes etc. - whatever her favorite dishes are that she eats at your house. This way she can avoid animal products as much as possible. Maybe drop her off with some shopping bags with vegan alternatives to meat - i.e.: veggie burgers etc. and some of her favorite fruits. I don't know if this is something your ex would tolerate, but if he sees that it doesn't require as much effort on his part, maybe he'll be more open to it.

Nightmare situation!  When you feel so strongly about giving your child the most healthy diet, it must be excruciating watching her being pumped with 'poison' half the week.  One of the reasons I never had children is that I would want to bring my kids up veggie, but my other half wouldn;t agree to that.... so we never had kids!  My current partner is a meat-eater who feeds his kids on the cheapest crappy meat ever (the value sausages) and everything they eat has chocolate on it (waffles, sandwiches, scones, toast....).  It infuriates me what he feeds them, and they're not even mine!

 

So - I think if she is staying with you the majority of the time, then he needs to fit in with YOUR ideas (and the other way round if he has her the majority).  If you are on good terms with him, you just need to explan that it is for HER benefit (don't go down the health angle) because she is getting mixed messages.  Then supply him with a list of foods and meals that he can do easily and cheaply. 

 

If this is NOT possible, then carry on as you are, ensuring that all the good you are doing the rest of the time if helping cancel out some of the bad.  As she gets older, hopfully she'll use her voice to ask dad for the types of foods she wants.... especially the non-animal ones!

 

Good luck - awful situation, but how fab that she has such a caring mum!

 

What a tough situation!  I feel for you, I was in your shoes when my oldest kids were younger.  I did send a lot of food along with them.  I also never let up on my ex to be honest.  He didn't appreciate it, and I'm still not sure whether it was best, but it helped keep the kids fed a little better.  I wish I could tell you it turned out one way or the other, but of the 2 kids my daughter gravitated to her dad's way and is now obese while her brother is a mostly raw athlete. 

 

I think the idea of it being hard on her system is difficult.  Here's my take- certainly it will be less physically pleasant for her to seesaw back and forth.  But in the end, it's better for her to be eating clean half the time because at least that way, she's not building up tolerance to the crappy foods.  My understanding of hygienic principles is that tolerance is very, very bad. If she came home from Dad's feeling great and with no symptoms, then I'd be more worried.  It also may be that as your daughter gets older she might advocate for herself at her dad's.

 

I like your idea of the movie.  I hope this works out!  Hang in there!

Mary, what a great idea!

Much encouragement already in here, I see, with plenty of good tips!

One of my first thoughts was of the Boutenko kids.  I know that even in their early days, Victoria had young Sergei and Valya prepping food.  She got them a little food processor and blender, and let them play with them (naturally with full supervision for safety). 

Gwyn might just enjoy something similar.  With you and Dov there every step of the way, you could show her how to cut fruits and veggies.  If learning knife skills are beyond her right now, look into the specialized fruit cutters designed to core and slice apples and mangos.  Let me know if you're not familiar with these; I can show you pics.

You could even show her how to make her own rice, taters, quinoa etc.  Oats, in their rolled form, actually don't even need to be cooked.  Instead they can be soaked in water or juice.  I actually think they're better that way than mushified with cooking. 

I applaud you for not wanting to downtalk her father to her in any way.  You're wise to share that you both care deeply about her, and that you recognize his valuable fatherly attributes, as you shared with us. 

Even spoken as one childless, I'm still confident in saying that raising the next generation has to be the most rewarding yet most challenging endeavor anyone can undertake. 

You're doing great, Channa, and I'm sure your DD can feel your love for her! :)

 

 

Neither did I!  Sounds nasty! ;-p)

 

I wrote:

You could even show her how to make her own rice, taters, quinoa etc.  Oats, in their rolled form, actually don't even need to be cooked.  Instead they can be soaked in water or juice.  I actually think they're better that way than mushified with cooking. 

 

Ahh, deranged bunny attack!!

What happened to thine hair?  You didn't go Britney on your scalp, didja?

Channa most definately has a grip, Victoria.  She's simply looking for ways to improve a situation she sees as potentially harmful to her daughter's health. 

You're absolutely right that we can only do what we can do, but in many cases solutions can still be found.  Many have already been presented here, and now Channa can decide which if any might be worth trying for her. 

never said my answer was going to be popular! haha

Lets not stress... haha

Stress will kill you faster than diet!

:D

That we can agree on!

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