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but i love him and he makes me laugh and feel good about myself.

should i listen to them or what? /:

the only reason their comments make me nervous is because i know i dated a loser a year ago. everyone hated him, but i was so in love with him that i shook their insults off.

now that i think back, i should have listened to my friends, because i do see that he is a total loser now and i deserved so much better.

now i really love this guy, but everyone hates him too and tells me he is a loser?

AHHHH whats wrong with me! i know this has nothing to do with 801010 but i like this positive and nice honest community so i thought i would get some good answers from here.

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Sometimes "friends" dont always make the right judgements, could be down to jealousy or whatever happens in the social scene these days.

As long as you know you are getting treated with respect, I dont think there opinions matter on this particular subject, :-)

I am in the same kind of situation, but I love him and I don`t listen to anyone else :-)

thank you everyone for the replies :) i'm talking to my boyfriend just about everything i said above and we are working through our problems.

i've learned that you can't always find the "perfect" person, and you don't have to CHANGE them, you just have to talk about with them what you want/like/expect and if they really love you, they will do what you want to please you.

Just in case I would look into this: http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-a-Manipulative-or-Controlling-Rela...

Think about your past relationship, think about your friends, family and current relationship.

I think everyone should study this information before getting into relationships and assess their relationships while in them... this is the one instance in which I really think if there are many people around you telling you something is wrong, I would look toward this side of things for the why... I also think it is good to be sure that your friends are genuine friends as well...family can even be emotionally manipulative/abusive, etc.  So know the signs...

And if you're evaluating your relationship do it without the influence of your partner.  Don't ask them questions or bring up the subject.  Make the decision on your own before you take any actions or reactions.  This is all subtle so you have to also be subtle in your approach.

And this is not just for the OP(Geena) but for anyone.

Just do what you can and step back from the relationship (mentally) and ask your friends for specific reasons as to why they don't like him. If you hear things like "Oh...I just have a feeling" or "he looks a certain way" or "I just don't trust him" but without evidence to back up their opinions then you can probably proceed forward with the relationship.

However, if they are telling you things that you just might be blind to like "He doesn't treat you with respect that we see" or "I know that he is dishonest and here is why <specific example here>" then you need to reconsider.

Relationships are not just about how you feel when you are around someone. I have kicked people out of my life before that were poison yet they always seem to have a crowd around them even though they are trouble.


The key thing to listen for when you talk to your friends, one on one is best, is are they telling you things that are consistent between each person. If so they you have a huge red flag for an issue with your guy. Multiple friends giving you the same warning has to be listened to. I mean why would multiple people want to sabatoge you?


Sometimes people love the idea more of being in a relationship more than the actual person they are with. They often miss the idea of being able to rely on someone, call someone anytime, hang out, etc. This can put people in the mode of needing to feel a certain way regardless of who they are with. Focus more on the person rather than a relationship. Relationships should be the result of two people coming together that are good for each other and not based on some goal of getting in a relationship. That makes people settle.



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