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but i love him and he makes me laugh and feel good about myself.

should i listen to them or what? /:

the only reason their comments make me nervous is because i know i dated a loser a year ago. everyone hated him, but i was so in love with him that i shook their insults off.

now that i think back, i should have listened to my friends, because i do see that he is a total loser now and i deserved so much better.

now i really love this guy, but everyone hates him too and tells me he is a loser?

AHHHH whats wrong with me! i know this has nothing to do with 801010 but i like this positive and nice honest community so i thought i would get some good answers from here.

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this is true

question anybody who calls names.   you want actions not talk. 

loser isn't too bad... but it does depend on what they define as a loser

I define a loser as someone who is not interested in doing anything with their life and lives in ignorance

beware of the labels bastard, asshole, jerk, liar, etc

those are the ones to pay attention to in my experience

ppl said those things about my abusive ex and i didn't listen, now he's those things and a loser to me

So ask yourself, what do these friends mean to you, how much do they "get" you, and what do they think is a loser and is it an accurate portrayal of your sweetie, and are you ok with that? 

They're definition of a loser might not really be a bad thing for you. 

"Oh, man, he's such a loser, he never goes out drinking with us." Not a bad thing in my book.

i like marc solar's comment. just putting that out there

you know what? your b/f might be a loser, but like others have said, who cares if he is "a loser" if you enjoy spending time with him?

you know who the true losers are? your so-called friends. when people judge others and label them, they are actually projecting their own judgment and label of themselves. be with him as long as you want to and enjoy the relationship for what it does for you.


I am going to go against the grain here. Now obviously, nobody has enough information to give you advice that is completely relevant. But, there is a famous quote that says: "humans are creatures of habit". Habits take energy to break; they don't just go away. You said: "now that i think back, i should have listened to my friends, because i do see that he is a total loser." Did you make the decision in a different way this time? If your decision process was similar to the last one, then the situation is probably the same. 

"like" @ Nathan's reply

Your choices have more to do with who you are and what is going on with you than what is going on with those guys that you date/ed. I've found the bad choices I made in my past were indicative of how I felt about myself. The loving, the laughing, the good times are all surface stuff. You can find that kind of fun and attraction in almost anybody. People who don't find themselves deserving of a healthy, stable partner typically don't go past the surface *for themselves* because they are afraid of what is deeper. So it is possible you are purposefully choosing people your subconscious thinks are unworthy so that you don't have to invest anything significant. 

I believe all people are good at their core....but some people make bad behavior choices, possibly because they, too, suffer from the same issues of esteem. Like attracts like. When you find yourself in a healthier, well-deserving mental state and create a positive life around yourself, a like-minded character will appear in your life.

loser is a subjectiver term.

Best way to gauge is 'are you improving as a person and making the world a better place as a result of your daily actions inspired by your partner?'.

Your friends might be right. They might be wrong. Generally though women are in tune enough to call out genuine losers. A loser in a relationship is someone that drags you down in life.

Well your profile suggests you are single, so perhaps you've made up your mind already. /shrug  =)

This really is an incredible post.

I also agree that if you feel your friends really get you and understand what you're going for, it might be a good idea to look into some specifics about why they don't like him and feel he is a "loser". 

I have stated a lot of the things in your original post myself and I would say there is nothing wrong with you...but there is either something wrong with your relationships with your friends or something wrong with your relationship with your boyfriend. 



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