At Italian restaurants with family sometimes I'll order pasta (be sure it's not egg noodles) and have them toss it in a pan with a few steamed/boiled veggies like mushrooms and carrots and broccoli, and "sautee" it with chopped tomatoes or plain tomato sauce if it doesn't have oil. The juice from the tomatoes will make it not stick and you can just ask for pepper and a little salt or no salt or whatever simple seasonings they have. Also some basil adds a nice touch
I feel you, it can get awkward if done wrong. Everyone has to find their best way of going about it. Some like to be quiet and try to hide the requests, while others like to make a scene and try to make everyone at the table laugh about it. I often say to the waiter/waitress "hey I have some dietary restrictions, could you help me out? Great! So I'm just wondering if I can get some plain wheat pasta tossed in some veggies. Only thing is I cant have an animal products like meat or dairy, and also no oil. Yes, no oil. Crazy right?! Yeah I don't know, maybe the chef could just toss it in a pan with some chopped tomatoes so they don't have to use oil." And always finish with "thanks, I really appreciate it." Takes idk 45 seconds but if you never ask, you'll never know.
Well, think of the rec fat percentage as an average over days, weeks, months. So don't obsess over one meal.
Eat ethical. EAt vegan. Have fun.
May be eat raw fruits and salad all day, and you are good to go.
For future reference, I like to go out to places that have at least a salad bar, if not a whole buffet. Then everyone is happy!