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End of a 9 day dry fast and I feel like killing myself. I want to be a DJ $iva.

I am contemplating suicide because I dry fasted for 9 days to cure my bipolar disorder and shizophrenia.

And now I don't appear "normal" to people since I have no friends and walk alone everyone here in mangalagiri, andhra pradesh, india.

I have reached the end of the road.   I was about to go to Egypt tomrrow to Luxor to see the Pyramids with the Pyramid Spiritual Society of India and at first they said I could go since because of my KUNDALINI AWAKENING the Ascended Masters could help me.  

But then they called back 10 minutes later and told me not to come even though my Dad spent a lot of money on this trip of a lifetime.

Now I have no friends because I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, although I do drink liquid chlorophyll with water which enabled me to walk 18 miles  a few days ago.

Anyways, my last message to society and this world on my facebook is http://www.facebook.com/djsiva

All I wanted to do in this life was be dj $iva and my Dad would not let me.

So I will just post on there and hope that maybe one of you can convince me not to commit suicide and be a friend to me.

If I don't commit suicide, I am going to move to Morocco and be a gypsy.

Thank you.

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Yes, it makes him want to die ASAP in order not to be around such non-empathic people anymore!


We all have free Will brother ... So I would never try to convince you to do anything that goes against your free will, even if you wish to do die. Brother I tell you truly, if you commit suicide you will enter the spirit world in a dark place. When we die our spirit carries ALL of our wounds into the spirit world, so we can not actually avoid our problems by killing ourselves. Brother God loves you very much, much much more than you know and is always around you, more then any friend. When we have God we actually need no friends

 Kundalini awakening can be nothing more then spirit influence. Spirits are influencing your spirit and thus feels like energy being awakening within you. Shizophrenia is also spirits connecting and influencing you.  Spiritual life should COST NOTHING, so if this path of yours is charging then I believe it is not the TRUTH. 

check out www.divinetruth.com

I pray you do not commit suicide. If you do, you will soon notice that life will be just the same, except that you lost your physical body. you will have all the same emotional problems as on Earth. In the spirit world you will also be able to become a DJ so your passion will not cease. If you do decide to pass, then look for the brightest of spirits and they will be able to guide you in Love and Truth. Ask for spirits on the divine love path or the 'WAY'. 

God bless Brother. 

He's in India, it's 11pm there right now... :(


When did I say I think he is attention seeking? I just said no because I didn't want to believe he had actually taken his life. It would be horrible to know he did it. But I just looked at his fb and he has been active 2 hours ago so he might still be alive!

Suicide is an empty dead end. It is a temperary solution to a permanent problem. It is a cowardly thing to do in that, you don't want to cope with any problems you have at the moment. You are lucky to have a life. You are lucky that you have eyes to see and all other senses and yet you want to destroy that which was given to you? Do you know how many people would love to be in your shoes who can't see, or hear or have legs or arms? You should be grateful for what you have in your life. The fact that you even have the ability to type this out says that you have blessings. You don't have a major life threatening disease and yet you want to still take your precious life? What the hell? which I believe you will be going to bc Hell is the only place I think goes to suicides and murderers. You are going to commit a MURDER no matter how you slice it...MURDER>..is that how you want to always be remembered? Suicide is not an option..Your life is not really yours to take. You are being tested..pass, don't fail. Life will still go on without you, and you will not have anything to contribute to the world by killing yourself. You can not do this horrible act...Think of yourself as you would someone you love...think of yourself as a little child and see if you can still kill that person? If you can, then you really belong in jail to tell you the truth. Get the help you need and stop this nonsense. You sound foolish. You can turn it around and help others too. Think about the possibilities? What is it you want in life? Why not start working towards those things instead of working on killing yourself? You are in a dark place right now. You need to step into the light. Even that guy that was stuck in a cave with his arm stuck under a rock didn't kill himself..You try to live and who cares how you live, just live..enjoy the sunshine and the rain..enjoy what was given to you. For heaven's sake, stop this insanity and get help NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

hey everyone thanks for the replies.  i guess there are some people on here who really care.  well i am almost through with this kundalini awakening process.  tonight i went to some hindu festival called holi or something like that...there were a lot of people and they were beating a lot of drums and making a lot of noises.

being around so many people seemed to heal me much faster since bipolar/schizophrenia/kundalini awakening is actually a healing process of the trapped subconsious impressions in the chakras.

essentially i am under a type of house arrest here because half of the people in this town may want to be friends with me and half of the people it seems they want to kill me because i started yelling out all my frustrations out loud and told everyone to be a vegetarian and then i ate an orange with the peel on and everything to prove my point.

this house arrest is like being in prison.  that is why i wanted to kill myself because i couldn't do anything in society.

the meds made me a total zombie for 6 months and so i will kill myself rather than go to an illuminati controlled psychiatric hospital.

besides i am developing a sense to read minds.  i am totally serious.

tonight at the festival i just wove through the masses of people with total zen clarity whereas before i would have gotten distracted.

so i don't think i will kill myself but i will find a creative solution to do what i want in life to make a difference in this world.

what i really wanted was some good friends anyways if you want to talk you can send me a message to me on here on my facebook.

i will be on facebook online all night because i can't sleep due to the pull of the full moon on the kundalini.

i'll just be listening to music videos on youtube and do some writing.

so find me on facebook...facebook.com/djsiva

again thanks everyone and thanks durian rider for his no nonsense approach of tough love

it is 11:48 pm right now

glad to see you're still here! but you seem to be experiencing some odd thoughts/senses though... 

Sounds like you have demon possession or something.

This is bullshit...stop fasting people...dry fasting fried your brain..re hydrate...who does this stuff? It does not cure bi polar it makes it worse!!!!!!!!!!! Get the proper hydrating foods and watch your mood change to better. You need to at least try that before doing something as stupid as Murder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... I am so confused right now.



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