I am contemplating suicide because I dry fasted for 9 days to cure my bipolar disorder and shizophrenia.
And now I don't appear "normal" to people since I have no friends and walk alone everyone here in mangalagiri, andhra pradesh, india.
I have reached the end of the road. I was about to go to Egypt tomrrow to Luxor to see the Pyramids with the Pyramid Spiritual Society of India and at first they said I could go since because of my KUNDALINI AWAKENING the Ascended Masters could help me.
But then they called back 10 minutes later and told me not to come even though my Dad spent a lot of money on this trip of a lifetime.
Now I have no friends because I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, although I do drink liquid chlorophyll with water which enabled me to walk 18 miles a few days ago.
Anyways, my last message to society and this world on my facebook is http://www.facebook.com/djsiva
All I wanted to do in this life was be dj $iva and my Dad would not let me.
So I will just post on there and hope that maybe one of you can convince me not to commit suicide and be a friend to me.
If I don't commit suicide, I am going to move to Morocco and be a gypsy.
Typical dribble from people that dry fast or push too hard.
Get a grip Siva, time to be healthy mate.
I think you summed up the reason you feel like doing this:
"I am contemplating suicide because I dry fasted for 9 days". I mean.. Any of us would probably be contemplating suicide if we did this. Go fruit yourself man!
Dude! I went to your facebook page and it appears you have many friends there at least. So whats up? Also it says you live in Upland,Ca not India. So where are you really?
Seriously. Your just freaking out man. Think about it. You have friends, your better off than most of the worlds population, you are young and healthy looking... You have WAY more reason to live than your fasting brain is telling you.
And who is your dad to "not let" you be a DJ. Just be a f*<$!ng DJ! "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great"
And another thing! you better not commit suicide! If you do I'll come kick your dead @$$!
I am sorry you have faced this rejection and these feelings. Hang in there, it will get better, and it is in your power to make it better. Your happiness and success is in your hands only. Do not allow others to control that or take that away from you whether parents, society, or your current group.
Some of Durianrider's wisdom that has helped me the past few years goes something like this:
Those that matter do not care, and those the care do not matter.
If there is no road in front of you, build your own road.
Use society to change society.
So, figure out what you want to do for sure, and follow that path no matter what. If a door closes, another will open. Sometimes things that happen that disappoint us in the moment lead us to something better. I had a surgery back in 2009, and was in poor health. But that led me on a path to find fruitarianism, and better health and energy than I have had in my entire life. That has resulted in my being able to achieve some personal goals and continue the pursuit of others.
I do recommend that you stop fasting and restricting. If one takes 100 healthy individuals who go for a fasting retreat, in some cases, 1-2 of them will die, and about 4 of them will go bonkers psychiatrically. The ratio and odds of fasting are not a risk I am personally willing to take at this point in time, and I do not recommend that you continue to do the same.
Please read DR ebook: http://30bad.com/fruititionist/DR%27s%20Ebook/Durianrider%20ebook%2...
We have had a few members here control and possibly cure schizophrenia and other problems. But they had to do it by eating a low fat raw vegan diet based on raw fruits and leafy greens. Try to keep things that are high fat and high protein like nuts to a minimum. I am sorry I do not have the link at the moment, but I read recently, that even by conventional medical standards, high protein diets have been found to be bad for schiz.
Eat a minimum of 3,000 calories a day. If you are exercising, working, and living a busy life, eat more.
Drink a minimum of 8-12 glasses of water a day to keep the body hydrated, the brain fresh and not looking like a raisin, and to keep toxins cleaned out. You mentioned you did a dry fast, and your brain is probably in the condition of a raisin now, and will not function properly. Please get it hydrated ASAP. It will do wonders for you current feelings.
A lot of people struggle with low vibes and depression if they do not get enough sleep. In nature, primates sleep about 40% of their lives plus rest and nap in the day. That is about 9 hours of sleep a night, plus resting during the day.
Get plenty of sunshine on your bare skin. That is natures natural battery charger, great for vitamin d, and great for mental health.
Continue your medications if you have any for a few months. As you do this diet 100%, you will slowly rebuild body and brain tissues that are healthy. Within 3-6 months, then you might be able to wean yourself off meds. A few of our members have.
Your 30BaD team cares about you and we want to see you thrive, not just survive. We have had years of experience behind us, with at least one of us curing schizophrenia. We have also assisted and observed what works with our members. We have put together the banana wagon tour to assist folks in doing this way of life right with minimal problems. I recommend that you (re)read this at your convenience, and we offer you a hand back up onto the banana wagon:)
These days and times too shall pass.
Love and Peace from PK and I am sure many of our 30BaD team and members
Please say you are kidding/trolling? Please. Don't do it! I don't even know you but even I would miss you. Please don't do anything to yourself.
This isn't permanent. Whatever this thing is, it's a phase that you can will get out of. This pain/hopelessness is temporary. I've thought so many times as well "I can't do this anymore, I don't have the strength to endure this, I won't be alive tomorrow" or something like that, yet here I am. I think you are testing yourself and others to see if we care. We do! Please hang in there (don't take it literally!) Ok... hope you read this. Much love to you.
If you decide to kill yourself, DON"T take other people with you. I hate when suicidal people kill the people around them before offing themselves.
Eat something, drink some water and get a good night sleep and you will feel better. Think of the pain you will cause your family!! It's not fair to leave them with the hurt you will cause by taking the EASY way out!!
Man up and do something good with your life. You have value.
Please do not do this. We are here for you!! We will not only be your friend we will help you transition to a better place in life!!!
Don't dry fast. Eat fruit and nourish your body and brain!!!
as you can see lots of people here understand what you are going through because they have been there too. I know I have!
You can have friends here. If you want to talk to someone we can skype if you want.
Do this: http://youtu.be/N73LjrXRGZM
and... get some friends...reach out to people...it may be difficult but do it anyway, some people might not listen, care or support you, but keep reaching out. Be your own best friend...love yourself, take care of your needs and follow your dreams...believe in yourself...
You don't need a teacher or an organization to tell you about your kundalini awakening, you can go through it on your own, with the support of friends. Visit www.theicarusproject.net there are lots of people there who understand what you're going through...go to morocco and become a gypsy, but find people to support you there...you need to find someone you can trust, someone to support you, who will listen and understand, someone you will share, be open and honest with.
I have been suicidal, and bipolar, I have a kundalini awakening and went through it by myself with my parents misunderstanding me, and I didn't have the fortune of living in India where people actually know what a kundalini awakening is...I had similar goals to yours either I was going to kill myself or completely change who I was and become a hippie(much like a gypsy)...I found a supportive online forum and put myself back together with liberating ideas and positive thoughts and forward action, I reached out and supported others and found reasons to love life and to believe in excitement and change... I changed my diet and dove into kundalini yoga, meditation, creativity and exploration of nature and I found that I didn't need to change me...I need to change my lifestyle and my expectations and my attachment to other people's expectations of me...
You can do this in your own way as well... the fact that you have given yourself another option is all you need...go on that dream, wouldn't it be much more fun than the other option? What's stopping you from walking down that path? Let go of your attachment to your past, and your image of yourself and your family and parents and go create the path you want...but never close your heart to friends, never feel like you have to do it alone, you just have to find the right people to support you.
Jacob, I know this is not meant to be a funny thing in any way whatsoever but, I love the method of suicide you suggest. I laughed hard at it.
I'm also in agreement with DR. I would add some stretching as well to that list of things.
"suicide is such a selfish, self-pitying, silly thing. you could have so much more use and purpose in this world. think of all those suffering so much more than you"
Sorry, but that is the last thing to say to s.o who doesn´t want to live anymore!
it totally doesn't make someone want to live more